June 14, 2004
From: HeathThax alot Xibit I appreciate for all the that man. Well here are some pics of me and my pops and his beater. My dad is a funny guy and hes a kick bower, he start when he was in the Air Force he was in Tae Kwon Doe is an awesome pop.
Peace Out Bro
XIBIT ur awesome man
Note the name change. Anthony on the comment forms, Heath in the email. I deal with that in my reply to him. He sent four pictures of him and his dad and one beat to hell early 80's Chevy Scottsdale pickup. Now since I can see from the pictures that he's a kid and there's no hotties in there anyway I'm not going to put up the pics he sent*. In fact I was just going to forget about this ruse since he's a teenager and there's not exactly a huge amount of challenge in messing with a teen's brain...until he did it again. more...
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09:52 AM
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Next week's Symphony will be hosted by The Smallest Minority (http://smallestminority.blogspot.com/).
BRIBERY: WeÂ’re so short on our host schedule that I'm resorting to bribery again. Send me an email to volunteer to host and you'll get a code for a week of free blogads on ZeroIntelligence.net. That site's getting just over 1100 unique visits a day so you're bound to pick up a reader or two.
Submit to the Symphony: Want to be a part of next week's edition? Check out this post for submission help. Entries should always be sent to bestofme@jpeacock.net regardless of who the Symphony host is.
Email Reminders: If you'd like to be sent a reminder about the Symphony, join the mailing list. There's one email sent on Thursday or Friday to remind you to submit for the next Symphony and one on Monday with the location of the newly posted Symphony.
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07:40 AM
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June 11, 2004
We're still waiting to hear back about our list of things that need to be repaired by the sellers at the new house. It's been a couple of days. We're getting irritated. Grml brgl rmnl*
*That's sort of like the "robble robble" of Hamburglar fame.
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04:09 PM
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June 10, 2004
(Hat tip to Rob)
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08:22 AM
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Finally knocked that damned insurance salesman down a few pegs.
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08:10 AM
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Pixy raises the bar for meme hosts again with a stupendously poetic work. When I read through this I had this picture in my mind's eye of Pixy in a black turtleneck, beret perched jauntily on his head, half sitting on a three legged stool on the stage of a dark and smoky café, snapping his fingers to an imaginary beat as he recited his poems.* Yeah, that's how cool it is.
So go visit and get your weekly Carnival fix.
*Oddly enough there was nothing gay about the beret.
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07:25 AM
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[update] I mistakenly dropped Simon's submission. I'm adding it now but since it's Thursday most folks have probably already read this and we'll have it in next week's edition too. Simon's entry was 2004 Annual Family Report. It's an "annual report" with a difference - this one is about important things. [/update]more...Today's reading begins with Zero Intelligence and an article called Pink - The color of the beast. It seem that schools have been having a problem with the color pink. It's a little Queer Eye for the Gangbanger Guy.
The Smarter Cop gives us Followed to a "T". Pietro doesn't know why John F*** Kerry's making such a big deal of President Bush's Iraq policy. After all, based on Kerry's editorialized suggestions for Iraq in 2002, the President easily gets 100%.
Andrew from Dodgeblogium asks if there is Hope for British music? This is the post (but one) that started the whole band thing going. G.o.D. may not be where they want to be just yet, but they sure have come a long bloody way, that is for sure.
The Owners Manual arrives with White Talking. Bill Cosby said it better (well, that's arguable) but Gary said it before he did.
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05:36 AM
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].June 09, 2004
(Hat tip to A Small Victory)
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01:45 PM
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Name: AnthonyWhazzup Xibit, Hey I really like whatching the number 1 show Pimp My Ride it's da graetest. But anyways this message is for my dad because I really look up to him and he means alot to me, because he is always there to help me out and I would like to give him something in return by having you guys pimp out his old beaten down truck and make it into a really pimpin' machine. I'd really appreciate it so if you could write me back on how to enter. Peace out Dogg ( by the way we live in Wisconsin) Awesome show keep it up.
Now the ones before could conceivably be borderline functional. Maybe I hadn't been specific enough in my statement that I wasn't the ride pimper. Anthony has no excuses so he's going to be my first bitch. Hey, if I'm a pimp then I need bitches, right? Here's what I sent Anthony:
Subject: We wanna pimp yo ride!more...Wazzup An-tone! Got your request askin how to enter. Surprise! You're already entered, bro. Took care of that for ya. In fact, you're one of the randomly selected finalists, how you like that?
The next step for you is to send in the graphx. We need pix of your Dads and his ride. We can do serious magic but we need the right ingredients, see what I'm sayin? Just reply to this email and attach a clear pic of the truck and another of your pop.
If the truck passes the eyeball test you go into the pot for final selection. If Dads don't have the teevee look we might need to pass on him. It's fo shizzle that you and Dads are tight but we're talkin ratings and all, yo. If he doesn't pass muster do you have a chica who could stand in as the truck 'owner'? Send in the pix on her too.
(Just a side note from me to you, bro - hot pants and halter tops go a long way towards 'winnin' this thang. Caint be a pimp ride wit no bitches, see what I'm sayin.)
Thanks fo watchin Pimp My Ride, bro. Keep it real!
Xibit
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11:40 AM
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According to (the admittedly imperfect) Sitemeter the current daily average readership of this blog is 203 people. That's worthy, especially given the high quality of this readership. But it is time to take it to the next level. It is time for a readership drive. And I'm prepared to pay for it.In 2 weeks I will check Sitemeter again. For every extra reader above the current 203 I will donate HK$2 (about US25 cents) to a charity. The charity will be at the discretion (with my agreement) of the person who is able to generate the most additional traffic to this site.
A quarter per additional average viewer? I know what you're thinking. What's a quarter worth these days? Well, according to the Feed the Children site, every quarter donated keeps Sally Struthers fed for 7 more minutes. Or it can buy a village of African children shoes and a mo-ped. Only one mo-ped of course. And a quarter's worth of gasoline isn't exactly going to get them very far.
So I vow that if this is the blog that refers the most new readers to Simon I will not select any charity associated with Sally Struthers as the beneficiary of Simon's largesse.
Thank you and good day.
PS - Don't forget that you need to visit Simon for this whole thing to work.
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11:11 AM
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1) In the beginning, the double-standard exists, but those who practice it are not really aware of it. People are always much more sensitive to unfairness towards they themselves than unfairness to other people. Those who practice double-standards initially are unconscious of them, as the unfairness falls to groups they are unsympathetic to.2) After some time, the existence of the double-standard is brought to their attention. They ignore the charge, chielfly because the beneficiaries of the double-standard are groups or people they're sympathetic to, and those injured by the double-standard are people or groups they're hostile to. In their minds, no harm, no foul.
3) At some point, the existence of the double-standard is well-documented enough, and complained about loudly enough, that they can no longer simply ignore it. At this point, the practitioners of the double-standards simply begin lying. They claim there is no double-standard at all.
This, of course, is where most of the liberal media is right now, and in fact has been for 20 or 30 years.
4) Finally, the existence of the double-standard can no longer be denied with a straight face. At this point, rather than strive for fairness and the abolition of the double-standard, the proponents of the double-standard simply begin inventing reasons as to why the double-standard is necessary and justified and right.
Much more good stuff in the full article.
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07:23 AM
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June 08, 2004
And get this - it was their change! Yeah, Lovely Wife wanted to give them time to move out so originally offered 10 days between the closing and boot-out dates. Our House Lady shortened that up a bit and then the sellers themselves shortened it up more. Fan-freaking-tastic! Why in the world wouldn't they want the option to stay longer just in case? Don't know, not going to worry about it.
Back to the inspection. Earl was awesome. Talk about thorough. He showed me parts of a house that I didn't know existed. Old timers here may recall that I used to help build houses. Yeah, Earl was good. To make matters even better, he had that fantastic central Georgia drawl that just oozes confidence about construction knowledge and other things of a manly nature (inclusive of coon dawgs and NASCAR). He also looks like a slightly older Sam Neill and if you can't rely on Dr.Grant then who can you rely on?
The inspection turned up a couple of things. He found everything that we had noted, everything that the sellers had disclosed and a few more. Nothing big, which is very cool. There's a condensation line from the air conditioning that stops at the foundation - that needs to run a few feet away from the foundation. A couple bushes need trimming to give proper clearances. Ground cover needs to be cut back away from vents. An outlet cover is missing in the main bath. The crawl space under the house needs a moisture barrier put down. Windows are painted shut. Little stuff like that.
No major items, nothing that the sellers should balk at fixing before the sale. Can I get a "boo-ya!"?
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11:08 AM
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10:24 AM
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Answer the following questions in the comments:
1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?
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08:00 AM
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Maybe, or otherwise maybe you reply to me in an email if you're bored. But maybe.
9) Artichokes and orgasms. Not together, but you get my drift.
10) You make me laugh.June 07, 2004
Oh, wait. I'm getting ahead of myself. The last thing y'all knew was that I was expecting House Lady on Friday morning. She did indeed show up and we filled out many copies of the agreement to purchase. Then on Saturday we didn't hear that the sellers had signed. On Sunday we found out why - they had another exclusion in a newer version saying that they were keeping some shelves from over the front window. You needed to hold up my contract for this? Sheesh.
They were also concerned that they might get labeled for massive heating system repairs. That's warranty stuff, we just want the unit serviced with regular maintenance so we don't have to do it this year. That's straightened out now, fortunately.
So now we've got the inspection tonight and hopefully pick up our copies of the finalized agreement. Continue crossing fingers, but you don't have to squeeze as hard now. ;-)
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03:22 PM
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What's missing? What's superfluous? How's the formatting? Pleasing to the eye? Short enough? Too long? Lemme know.
This is in MS Word format. If you need it in a different format I'd be happy to oblige, just email me and I'll send it right to you.
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03:02 PM
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Broadway is Phylicia's first love and her notable successes in the silver screen were basically just placeholders in her career as a stage actress. A way to pay the bills you might say. That decade long stretch as the affluent lawyer mom of a gaggle of dark skinned and white souled children was but a diversion. How does one get 'diverted' from the love of their life for such a long time? A year here or there could be understood easily but a decade?
There's only one answer and that is cashola. Moola. Dough. Money. Greenbacks. Hey, you don't get to snort coke off a whore's ass by showing her your playbill, even if you are first billed. Well, not any classy whore anyway. I'm talking high class hookers where your people call somebody who knows somebody who sets things up. And she brings the coke too. That's right, I'm talking F-I-N-E fine.
Hell, you don't even get "people" without serious cash and clout. Yule Brenner WAS the freakin' King and he never had people. Guy danced around bald and half nude for twenty years and all it got him was an aneurysm. Couldn't even beat out Captain Picard for sexiest bald dude. You know why? Because Patrick Stewart was the star of a popular series and he has people. Successful show equals money equals people equals hookers with ass cocaine. It's simple math, folks.
How much was Kramer getting for working on Seinfeld? Something like a million per episode there at the end, right? You think he ever seriously contemplated leaving the show to pursue his dream of being a NASCAR driver? Of course not. You get way more tang as "that loser goof on Seinfeld" than you do as "another redneck wanna-be" in Daytona.
The only person who has ever successfully left a hit series to pursue other interests was Shelley Long. She abandoned Cheers after it became the number one show on television and managed to become a wildly successful screen actress. Oh, wait a second - no she didn't. She played a couple roles as an extra flighty Goldie Hawn impersonator opposite such worthies as Steve Gutenberg in second rate comedies that nobody remembers except the occasional desperate blogger reaching through the depths of the IMDB database. Shortly after noting her dismal failure as a B movie queen, Shelley Long's career shifted focus and she now makes a living by showing up at strange houses with several grams of coke and tear-off panties.
So to sum up, congratulations to Phylicia Rashad for her historical achievement. We're sure that she would have got it much earlier if she hadn't taken such a long sabbatical from the stage and if the assholes who give out the Tony's weren't such racist sons of bitches. Hey, there's a bonus - I answered the second question too.
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08:07 AM
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June 05, 2004
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11:31 PM
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June 04, 2004
Help me to make this demi-annual edition a smashing success. Send your submissions in to bestofme@jpeacock.net. The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old.
Take a look at your blogroll. Does a favorite site of yours have a veteran post that's crying to be included in a Symphony? Now's the time to submit it.
Got a blog? Spread the word - let folks know that the Bestofme Symphony is going to be celebrating it's demi-anniversary on Monday and their submissions will help to make the party a smashing success.
Thanks for supporting the Bestofme Symphony! It rocks because you do.
The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.
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12:59 PM
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House lady will be here in about two hours to sign the papers. We're going to buy the house anyway.
I'm much loved at work, so much so that they're keeping me in a job until the end of July. I'm confident that I'll be able to find something decent within two months. If I only find a middling job we have options - there is a lot of fat in our current budget. High speed Internet, cable with all the trimmings, private school for the little guys, stay at home Mom for the little guys. There's actually enough fat for us to get by just fine with me on unemployment. In short, it's not an absolute requirement that I be the single bread winner with a big salary. That's the ideal situation, but it's not the only possibility. It might be a bit risky to go ahead with the house purchase but it's only a little risk.
Also, if worse comes to worse, it's way harder to kick a family out of a house than it is to evict them from an apartment.
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08:15 AM
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