August 31, 2004

Culling the herd

Dopple-G made it. Barely. His group was cut 70%.

Turns out they aren't going without QA on my product, they're going without QA on his. The new QA person for my product is somebody from his group who will be retrained for my group. Actually she worked on mine years ago before there was another product so it is literal retraining for her. She has many years more seniority than I do so I can't really fault the decision.

Many many thanks to everybody who has chimed in with support. I owe a couple of you responses on things I couldn't answer off the top of my head and today quickly got too crazy to look for the correct info.

I am very gratefully consuming the beers that were sent to me via PayPal. Muchos gracias to Susie and Harvey. By the way Harvey - Susie one upped you. She bought me two beers. ;-)

To the several who have expressed regret at not being able to help financially - please do not worry about that. Between our finances and the severance pittance from the Collective we are okay for now. I very much appreciate the sentiment though.

Posted by: Jim at 07:14 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 204 words, total size 1 kb.

Change of Life

Got some very big news just a short while ago. The Borg corporate realignment plan has been completed. Apparently assimilation isn't inevitable after all.

I've lost my job, y'all. Effective about two hours ago.

Posted by: Jim at 09:22 AM | Comments (30) | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

It's Snoozebob day!

UPDATE:SnoozeBob day is over, y'all. Thanks for all who played along. I'll hand out points tomorrow for those deserving.

Y'all remember Snoozebob, right?

Snoozebob comes around when I am especially lazy am so burdened by other committments that I can't attend to my normal bloggish duties and he throws the doors open for y'all to abuse the snooze guest post. It's easy as pie. Just go here and log in with username and password "snoozebob".

The door will be open until tomorrow morning. You can post just about whatever you want as long as it isn't spammy or overtly francophilish. There are a couple of things to remember though:

  1. Don't do something so stupid that I or one of my proctors will have to ban your ass.

  2. Put your name in there so we know who wrote what. In the title is the best place, as a header or in closing work too.

  3. If you have a blog don't forget to whore it out here include a link.

  4. For the category, please choose "SnoozeBob".

Enjoy!

(This post will stay at the top as long as open posting is enabled.)

POINTS: When I close guest posting I'll hand out some points based on which posts I thought were the funniest/most meaningful/bestest. It might be in categories or an overall list - not sure at the moment.

Posted by: Jim at 08:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 231 words, total size 2 kb.

August 30, 2004

The truth about Cats and Dogs

Cats have been losing out bigtime to little dogs as the ultimate shopper's accessory. Obviously cats just aren't fashionable enough to be seen browsing designer racks with and I blame two things for this:

1. This carefully constructed argument on why puppies are better than alcoholic kitties

2. Those crazy mixed up felines at Cat Town whose wardrobe has been provided by Catprin.

No wonder there are so many owners out there with cats who hate them.

But sometimes being unstylish is really a blessing in disguise. Cats don't have to suffer the ignominy of being paraded around by the likes of Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Can you see the dead looks in those little dogs' eyes - a part of them has lost the will to live. In this picture, you can see one of them trying their best to escape from the clutches of Nicole Richie.

A media storm was caused recently when Paris Hilton misplaced Tinkerbelle who she said was like a daughter to her. That would make a Great Dane her father, which is no surprise because I've heard that the making of Tinkerbelle is an Easter Egg on the "One Night in Paris" DVD.

Animal activists need to get cracking and bust out all of these little dogs who have been condemned to a life of inane conversation and embarrassing press appearances.

Spirit Fingers

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 11:31 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 244 words, total size 2 kb.

Just the opportunity I was looking for

Ah, finally, an unguarded place where a fellow can stretch out and relax.

roonext.jpg

Kang A Roo

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 10:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

What do you do with a great great afternoon?

Wow, did you ever get someone tryin' to sell ya somethin' whose presence gave ya one of the most enjoyable days you could imagine? I jes' had that happen. I would love to tell ya'll all about it, but why would I be wastin' such a good story on Jim's blog. 'Sides, there ia a graphic I wanted to display as well, and it seems that spongesnoozebob's privileges do not include uploading pics to Jim's server*. You'll have to go to this place.

*Ain't that strange, 'cause it is also my server, or, truth be known, Pixy's server.

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 05:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 116 words, total size 1 kb.

Let the zap-a-thon begin

I am blowing steam out of every ear I have, being nine of them, as I lost No. 10 in that scrap with Mike Tyson before my tentacles were fully developed and I had appropriated ray gun technology from Emperor Ming. Why am I upset, if such word is sufficient to describe the ire I feel from having a long diatribe about having had some man named Phil F. Jackson comment upon my blog: Beyond the Black Hole, "Great blog!", disappear without publication after I had worked so diligently to compose such? In this post's previous incarnation, I had painstakenly mentioned that I thought such was a highly suspicious activity and likely done with the intent to cause such Phil F. Jackson's name fall to the bottom of my zap list. If so, said individual is definitely in error, as are any who believe that I will show them favoritism if they compliment me or otherwise show me favor. Except for Gir, of course. Gir is quickly becoming my loyal assistant. Please insure that you do not allow this secret to slip, like was done with regard to the biological agent, cheese and its lethal effect on my health, but also, unbeknownst to many, I do not keep a zap list. My solitary rule in deciding who to zap and who not to zap on any occasion is solely dependent upon who is visible in the cross hairs as I engage the power on whatever ray gun I am firing. Now, if this post disappears without being published as that last one did, I may revise my rule and just rampantly zap everyone in attendance. No ducking, and no cheese allowed.

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 04:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 289 words, total size 2 kb.

I always wanted to guest post here!

I love this blog so much! I've always wanted to be a guest poster but never had the chance before. I knew about the last SnoozeBob opportunity but didn't even think of making my own post. Hindsight, you know?

Well, I don't have anything of my own that's worthy to post but I do have a short list of excellent posts by other noted bloggers for you to read.

Pray for me. Lovely Wife has PMS.

Simon says blog! That's one of the best newbie blogging guidelines you'll run across.

Simon also says that he's sick of the "Simon says" thing.

Rachel Ann discovers advertising deceptions.

Ryan is fed up and he's not going to take it any more! He's issued a call to arms. Sort of.

Bunsen is back? Be still my beating heart - you know he likes to tease.

See ya later!
Jim

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 03:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 160 words, total size 1 kb.

Astigmatic Myopic Hope-it-Don't-Get-Worseic

Little-known fact: when I (SnoozeTiffany) was a kid, I thought glasses were cool and prayed every night that I could wear them one day.

Ta da! Fifteen years later, I sit here with two left contact lenses in my eyes because I ripped my right one...twice. And my two eyes are different precriptions. Nice!

I'm not blind to the extent that I qualify for a handicap placard to hang from my rear-view mirror, but my vision is blurry enough that I can't read a digital clock with 1 1/2" red numbers from two or three feet away. I have to squint to read the clock on my cell phone when I take my lenses out.

My glasses are so damned thick that I pay the extra bucks to have them made from extra-light material, and still have that whole bug-face thing going on when I wear them: you know, the part of my face behind my glasses appears much much smaller than the rest of my face because of all that lens goodness. Cartoon, anyone?

The one good thing I can say about having shitty vision is that I can make excuses to beg off things:

"Oh, honey, I can't see to drive at night--can you take me?" (Useful when out of gas and too ashamed to admit it.)

"Fuck! I missed my exit! Why didn't you tell me when to turn--you know I can't see the signs!" (Useful for when you don't know where the hell you're going but like to pretend otherwise.)

"Damnit! I tore a lens, I can't go to work!!!! *snicker*" (Useful when feeling "SnoozeBob"ish.)

And my favorite: I can use the "Honey, I have a headache," excuse and have it work quite well when I'm wearing my glasses--oh, how they strain me. The pain! The fuzziness! *snicker*

Natural selection may eventualy do away with us squinters, but while I'm still here, can you go get me a soda from that store on the corner?...I think it's a store, I can't really tell. I can't see well enough to read the can. (And...I, sort of haven't been paid yet.)

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 01:51 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 359 words, total size 2 kb.

My Mothers Toes

A Pome

As we travel through our lives,
We all encounter certain woes;
For happiness is fleeting,
And contentment comes and goes,
And good fortune never lingers -
The tide ebbs after it flows.
But I never dreamed I'd find the dog
That ate my mother's toes.

The day was brisk, the sky was grey,
The trees were filled with crows;
I'd just filled up my fishpond
With the neighbour's garden hose.
I fumbled for a handkerchief
With which to blow my nose -
And then looked up, and saw the dog
That ate my mother's toes.

I looked at him; he looked at me;
He was chewing on a rose.
His eyes were hard, his mouth was set -
Determined, I suppose.
I'd have gone and fetched my shotgun -
But I don't got me one of those.
So I stood my ground and faced the fiend
That ate my mother's toes.

We glared into each other's eyes
The bitterest of foes:
The fellow who just lives his life,
The dog that feeds on does.
And then he got run over -
One reaps just what one sows -
And lay there dying, the vile beast
That ate my mother's toes.

My poetry may sometimes rhyme,
But can't compete with Poe's.
The meter changes over time;
The rhyming comes and goes.
My one last act I will remark,
For none here would oppose:
I kicked him in the ribs and he
Coughed up my mother's toes.

J Freemont Snoozepixy

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 12:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 254 words, total size 1 kb.

The Snoozebob Monologues

Kinda like the Vagina Monologues and just as ghey.


Fade in:
Jim standing up on stage Green Violets Kareoke Bar.

"So I just flew in from Georgia and boy are my arms tired"

"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. "

Jim, reaches for his JD on the rocks that is sitting on the stool next to him and slams it back.

"Ok folks for my next song I'm going to be doing 'Afternoon Delight
' by Starland Vocal Band "

Heckler: "For the love of God No"

Jim: Shut up. Are you on stage? No!

"Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!"

Heckler: (yelling) THAT WAS HORRIBLE!

Jim, takes his empty glass and throws it at the heckler.

Heckler: OW! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!

Jim: And now for the next piece....

(this moment of what the hell was that brought to you by wetwired.

Posted by: SnoozeBob at 10:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 358 words, total size 2 kb.

August 27, 2004

Sour ball eye candy

I have a lot of respect for people who are working to lose weight, get healthier, get into shape, etc. But for the love of God please wear body-style appropriate clothing. Driving around Stone Mountain on Sunday we were treated to the sight of a twinkie intolerant young lady wearing a tighter-than-skin black lycra body suit. It looked like a nest of pythons trying to fight their way out of a hefty bag.

My eyes still burn.

Posted by: Jim at 01:56 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 85 words, total size 1 kb.

Good news! Sugar doesn't make you fat!

The new federal dietary guidelines have been submitted for approval. Salt and alcohol are still bad for you but fortunately sugar is still A-okay!

The recommendations included noncontroversial language advising consumers to choose their fats and carbohydrates "wisely" and to limit salt and alcohol.

The experts stopped short of directly urging Americans to cut down on soft drinks, cakes, cookies, pies, candy and other sugar-filled food, saying more research was necessary.

Record numbers of kids are clinically obese and up to two thirds of adults are overweight to some degree or another. Diabetes rates have skyrocketed, riding in tandem with soft drink sales. More research is necessary to see if eating junk food contributes to weight gain? more...

Posted by: Jim at 01:22 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 497 words, total size 3 kb.

Damned DMV

I was out yesterday getting my license renewed. I had hoped to have some excellent blog fodder from my DMV experience but the bastards were smooth and efficient. All of our preconceived notions of the long lines and horrific treatment were left unfulfilled and we emerged from the experience in dastardly good spirits.

Bloody useless for blogging.

Posted by: Jim at 01:18 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 61 words, total size 1 kb.

August 25, 2004

I've come over all hungry like

I recently found some old (couple years anyway) pictures on the relic Windows 95 system I use for some regression testing. Among them is one from Memorial Day in 2001 that I've put on my desktop. The only problem is that I'm drooling every time I minimize a window.


(Click for biggie size)

Posted by: Jim at 01:35 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 65 words, total size 1 kb.

August 24, 2004

SWF seeks SWM...

Dislikes: mean people, clowns

Likes: kittens, long walks on a moonlit beach

Bull.Shit.

Why do women say they like long walks on a moonlit beach when it is so patently false? If even half of the women who swear that they love these long walks actually did like them you would be able to go to any beach in the world at the full moon and see hordes of women wandering aimlessly through the surf. It would look like the invasion of the mutant grunion.

I'm just saying.

Posted by: Jim at 11:08 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.

The civil sword shall and must be red and bloody.

I found this bit of news all over my regular reads this morning. Tiffany, Joanne Jacobs and Kimberly Swygert are all over it.

It seems that red is losing favor as the ink to use when correcting papers. It's too authoritarian and bold. It intimidates kids and could even harm their self esteem. Purple is soft and comforting and it is much better for their little psyches.

"If you see a whole paper of red, it looks pretty frightening," said Sharon Carlson, a health and physical education teacher at John F. Kennedy Middle School in Northampton. "Purple stands out, but it doesn't look as scary as red."

...

A mix of red and blue, the color purple embodies red's sense of authority but also blue's association with serenity, making it a less negative and more constructive color for correcting student papers, color psychologists said. Purple calls attention to itself without being too aggressive. And because the color is linked to creativity and royalty, it is also more encouraging to students.

...

"I do not use red," said Robin Slipakoff, who teaches second and third grades at Mirror Lake Elementary School in Plantation, Fla. "Red has a negative connotation, and we want to promote self-confidence. I like purple. I use purple a lot."

Tiffany asks what Lovely Wife and I, as homeschoolers, feel about the red/purple issue. Well, Tiffany it's like this: We've found that it's best not to correct at all. Pointing out that a child has made an error can be very damaging to their self esteem. We review things with the child and for the correct answers we give positive feedback like "Yay! You got that one right!" For the ones that are not 'traditionally correct' we will say something like "Oh, wow! That is certainly an exciting alternative!" Using this method we can quickly build up our boys' self esteem without exposing them to damaging concepts like "being wrong".

Um...right. That actually hurt me to put down on paper. The reality is we haven't done much written correcting at all yet. Bear starts book school next week. For the writing that he had done, we're generally right there with him and we correct him as he's doing it. If he brings me something he's done and there are errors I'll point them out to him and we'll fix it together if a writing instrument is handy.

Verbally I'm using red ink though. I guarantee.

POINTS: 3 points to the first person to source the title of this post. No searching, y'all.

Posted by: Jim at 09:46 AM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
Post contains 444 words, total size 3 kb.

August 23, 2004

Let's get cookin!

The first ever Carnival of the Recipes is up at She Who Will Be Obeyed. All I can say is "Yummy".

Posted by: Jim at 10:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

He's having had a baby

Many congratulations to Simon and Mrs.M on the birth of their son. Isn't he a cutie?

Posted by: Jim at 07:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

August 20, 2004

New sayings

You can fool some of the people all of the time and that has "comfortable living" writen all over it.

Posted by: Jim at 08:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 24 words, total size 1 kb.

<< Page 1 of 4 >>
91kb generated in CPU 0.1028, elapsed 0.1177 seconds.
33 queries taking 0.0914 seconds, 178 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.

Search Thingy



Recent Comments

  • destockchine All of the nastiest solution to forget the person is usually to be taking up space exact adjacent to... entry
  • destockchine Acquaintance might be the Coptis groenlandica the fact ties typically the hearts and minds with the ... entry
  • chine destock I really like explore considering yourself, still considering that I am just while i was you have ma... entry
  • chine destock Please don't it's the perfect time more comfy to be with. Make friends that will amount of force one... entry
  • destockchine Factual friendly relationship foresees the requirements of another and not just extol it is actually... entry
  • destockchine Inside of large choice my close friends fully understand you and me; in difficulty small children my... entry
  • destockchine Like, friendship, admiration, be careful not to bring together many people over a usual hatred in su... entry
  • infants costumes What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious experience on the topic of unpredicted em... entry
  • , Real love, solidarity, reverence, will not join forces visitors over a commonplace hatred pertaining... entry
  • Jennifer Glad you liked. :-) entry

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

Sample link

Monthly Traffic

  • Pages: 4234
  • Files: 157
  • Bytes: 34.1M
  • CPU Time: 5:49
  • Queries: 352575

Content

  • Posts: 2644
  • Comments: 11507

Feeds


RSS 2.0 Atom 1.0