I think it is...let's see, England is 5 hours off, right? That means it's also 19 hours off the other way. So if we ignore the spin of the earth, carry the 3, multiply by the average airspeed of an unladed swallow, divide by Ted Kennedy's liver...and we get... close enough to tomorrow for today to be April 1!*

Happy Birthday, Helen!

Your present is in the extended entry.

* Cold medication, after several days of heavy abuse, may cause loss of critical function and time disorientation. more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:15 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Yes, but what *type* of swallow?

Posted by: Kenny at March 31, 2005 11:50 AM (sVrPB)

2 My favorite is a split tail.

Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2005 11:52 AM (tyQ8y)

3 the average airspeed of an unladed swallow Too easy, but just in case they *are* stealth points--Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And it's "unladen" but I'm sure that's just a typo.

Posted by: Victor at March 31, 2005 01:59 PM (L3qPK)

4 Oh, yes. Definitely too easy. We can pretty much permanently exclude any Monty Python from the stealth points - it's just too prevalent in geek vernacular.

Posted by: Jim at March 31, 2005 02:38 PM (tyQ8y)

5 I gathered as much, but it didn't hurt to try.

Posted by: Victor at March 31, 2005 03:20 PM (L3qPK)

6 I LOVE MY PRESENT!! Thank you darlin'. Thank you so much. That's the nicest thing you've ever done for me (excepting for beating up that kid who stole my lunch money after school that day. Now that was a big one.) As for swallows...well, my favorite one is very different to the one you boys chose. Much more soothing to the soul.

Posted by: Helen at March 31, 2005 04:29 PM (1i2pB)

7 whoa, thats a hellova present.!

Posted by: pylorns@wetwired.org at March 31, 2005 07:34 PM (xDzgY)

8 Ok, yesterday was MY birthday....where's mine?!?!?!?!?!?!? LOL

Posted by: Mitzi Moore at April 01, 2005 06:25 AM (T3oAt)

9 Happy birtday, Mitzi! But before I can .net you, you've got to get a weblog. Silly Mitzi.

Posted by: Jim at April 01, 2005 08:50 AM (tyQ8y)

10 Before I can get a weblog, I would have to have a life...Silly Jim...lol

Posted by: Mitzi Moore at April 02, 2005 10:10 PM (oMzS4)

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[crickets chirping]

Yeah. Well, you see...um...

When the folks were down visiting I dug out a CD-ROM for them so they could install a perfectly legal copy of MS Office on their new computer. While searching for said CD-ROM I also came across my long lost CivIII and CivIII Play The World CDs*.

Sorry about that.

If you don't understand the connection between finding these CDs and the quietness of this blog ask Ilyka. She'll fill you in.

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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There will be one interview post per day as I interview the lucky five folks who responded the fastest in this post. Today's interviewee is Rob from XSet, the only man in the world who's spent considerable time in my templates and has tweaked my CSS:

1) What was your last brush with greatness?

2) If you could have any superpower what would it be? How would you use it? How would you mis-use it?

3) What sport shouldn't be in the Olympics?

4) What was the last thing you were really looking forward to that ended up not being at all what you'd expected or hoped for?

5) What are the best and worst things about living on an island?

Rob, to continue the game you need to snag the rules from my original post and answer these at your place. I'll link to your post when you get it up.

UPDATE: Rob posted his answers!

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My semi-whenever foray into some of the best stuff saved in the dark recesses of my newsreader.

Graphical Truth discloses the humorous side of a recent Intelligent Design / Creationism tussle.

You know what they say about free advice? Well ignore that while you check out generic's Helpful hints from somebody who's led a long life.

Paul has the wackiest adventures. Even furniture shopping takes on interesting twists when he's involved.

Kate (who's feeling much better though not completely better) recently had her second blogversary. In this post she explains how she learned to stop worrying and love her blog.

I always thought that PETA hated kids. Now I know they do. Joanne Jacobs hits an article showing that kids need meat to develop normally.

What kind of school ignores a specifically targetted murder threat by its students on another one of its students? Kimberly Swygert has the scoop.

Posted by: Jim at 02:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The one who comes into the office with sickness oozing out of his pores. I didn't want to come in today. In fact I would happily (well, as happily as possible bearing in mind the sickness) have worked from home but I left all of my project notes at work. I did this on purpose so as to avoid the temptation of working over the weekend. I made a special effort not to work over the weekend because my dad and step-mom were visiting us for the weekend.

Incidentally, that's why there wasn't anything here on Friday. We were enjoying 80 degrees and sun as we traipsed all over Stone Mountain.

We had a great time with the visit. Bacon was attached to Papa's leg for close to 4 days straight. Bear taught him how to get pummeled in record time playing his favorite video game. Sunday's festivities included hunts for two baskets per child (I told them the Easter Bunny was overstocked so was liquidating some of his stock), egg decoration with Nana and Papa (I have no idea how they kept these three ruffians so clean during the dying phase), an egg hunt (Burger won hands down with 21 eggs), and dinner out at our favorite family restaurant the Golden Corral (when you have three kids, the buffet is your friend).

I've been battling the sickness all weekend. I think I'm past the contagious part but just in case I've taken steps to avoid infecting my coworkers. I have a spray bottle with bleach in it and any time somebody walks into my cube I squirt them. This works well not only to kill any germs they may have inadverdently picked up but also to discourage future visits.

Posted by: Jim at 09:03 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 If you're that guy, then I'm that girl. About the only things that'll keep me home are spontaneously releasing bodily fluids or a fever high enough to make me too delirious to drive. My sick days are saved for the kidlet. :-) But I'll be sure to use that bleach spray idea in the future. That's much better than the "Quarantined by order of the CDC" sign I typically use. ;-)

Posted by: Kathleen at March 28, 2005 09:43 AM (zGCA0)

2 LOL! I need a spray bottle of bleach in my cube. Man, I hope you feel better. All three kids got the flu... one week at a time. I thought it would never leave my home. Some how... I managed not to get it. I keep saying it's my superior immune system. No doubt that will come back and bite me in the butt sooner or later...

Posted by: Boudicca at March 28, 2005 09:44 AM (z7nbM)

3 Well, I hope you feel better soon. And I agree about the buffet/young children thing. It is so much easier to eat out if the kids can be fed without significant wait time. So much easier.

Posted by: RP at March 28, 2005 10:37 AM (LlPKh)

4 "This works well not only to kill any germs they may have inadverdently picked up but also to discourage future visits." HA! So that's the trick...

Posted by: songstress7 at March 28, 2005 11:24 AM (jEGU/)

5 I thought you were admitting something I suspected, until I read past, "jerk."

Posted by: Victor at March 28, 2005 11:31 AM (L3qPK)

6 Bleach? What a softie. I use Ebola.

Posted by: Harvey at March 28, 2005 01:59 PM (tJfh1)

7 The buffet is our friend, too. Especially if it involves pizza (Cici's) or Chinese food (good place we haunt in Snellville). We do Golden Corral on occasion too, but it is a bit pricier (my kids are teenagers).

Posted by: diamond dave at March 28, 2005 04:25 PM (75WzH)

8 (((Jim))) Or, on the other hand, keep your flipping germs to yourself, freak.

Posted by: Elizabeth at March 28, 2005 09:02 PM (r/dTW)

9 I do the same thing. I don't like it when my employees call off sick, so I make it a point to come in when I'm sick. Back in January I was walking around work with pnuemonia. I figured why be miserable at home when I can be at work making others miserable.

Posted by: Contagion at March 29, 2005 08:45 AM (Q5WxB)

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(Snagged from Autumnal Fire)

Posted by: Jim at 10:38 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 I got 76. I think I'll start using that as a end goal. You know, you budget your whole life to save money for retirement and live out the rest of your days as a rich bastard - but people never make a plan to spend it all before they die. Now that i have a supremely reliable benchmark, I can rework the math I use to budget for retirement and budget to die broke. It's always good to have a plan.

Posted by: shank at March 24, 2005 11:42 AM (+H1yK)

2 73 And I can't believe I actually remembered how to solve a quadratic equation.

Posted by: Harvey at March 24, 2005 02:02 PM (tJfh1)

3 Harvey, Harvey, Harvey. Did you really work out that equation? Don't you know that the fastest way through a multiple choice math question is to just plug in the possible answers? ;-)

Posted by: Jim at March 24, 2005 02:36 PM (tyQ8y)

4 79. Probably because I gave up drinking and smoking six years ago. Also, I didn't work out the equation. Too much stress to think back to 10th-grade algebra.

Posted by: diamond dave at March 24, 2005 04:42 PM (PoGd7)

5 82, nah nah nah

Posted by: Wendy at March 24, 2005 11:50 PM (lVGGv)

6 80. I probably got hammered by the fact I don't drink at all. Isn't a glass of red wine supposed to be good for your heart?

Posted by: Boudicca at March 25, 2005 12:50 AM (z7nbM)

7 75. And that quadratic equation can get bent, my life is clearly a better place without higher math.

Posted by: Helen at March 25, 2005 04:35 AM (EOwKj)

8 I'll live to be 76! woo hoo!

Posted by: Holly at March 25, 2005 08:59 AM (bkRgB)

9 Jim - I know, but mostly I just wanted to see if I could still do it. It's been a couple decades.

Posted by: Harvey at March 25, 2005 02:49 PM (ubhj8)

10 78... must be the wine I'm drinking to make up for Bou not drinking.

Posted by: vw bug at March 25, 2005 07:34 PM (oNw9u)

11 Happy Easter!

Posted by: Susie at March 27, 2005 10:15 AM (g8g3w)

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Two instructors at Abraar Islamic school in Ottawa were suspended while the school investigates their part in inciting hatred and violence against Jews.

One teacher was apparently involved in the artistic production of the eight-page story of killing and martyrdom. Handwritten in Arabic and titled The Long Road, the cover page was illustrated by a drawing of a burning Star of David beside a machine-gun and Palestinian flag atop the Dome of the Rock, an ancient Muslim shrine in Jerusalem.

The other teacher had written comments on the student's paper, praising the boy's story of revenge for the assassination by Israeli forces a year ago of Sheik Ahmed Yassin, a co-founder of Hamas, in retaliation for suicide bombings against Israeli civilians.

"God bless you, your efforts are good," the teacher wrote on the title page. "The story of the hero Ahmed and the hero Salah is still alive. The end will be soon when God unites us all in Jerusalem to pray there."

Holy jihadi, Batman! An actual Islamic institute doing internal investigation into terrorist incitement! I might have to turn off the Internet here so I don't ruin the moment.

UPDATE

Dammit, I knew I should have quit while I was ahead.

The students who have aired complaints claim that some professors in the department of Middle East and Asian Languages and Culture [at Columbian University] suppress opinion sympathetic of Israel and inappropriately substitute political activism for teaching.

An assistant professor of modern Arab politics, Joseph Massad, is accused of threatening to expel a student from his classroom because she defended Israel's military actions. Mr. Massad denies the charge. Mr. Massad is undergoing his fifth-year review. According to a source, a committee within the Middle East studies department evaluating Mr. Massad has recommended that he continue teaching in the department.

Mr. Cole on Tuesday night cast Mr. Massad as an exemplary teacher who is under no obligation to give equal weight to student opinions expressed during class. Just as a Jewish history professor doesn't have to take seriously a student who denies the Holocaust, Mr. Massad is not required to give equal time to an argument denying the 1982 Shatila refugee camp massacre in Lebanon, he said.

Posted by: Jim at 09:18 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Well, she was just 17, You know what I mean,

Earworms are nasty little buggers. Those snippets of songs that invade your conciousness and simply will not leave.

And the way she looked was way beyond compare.

I woke up with one today and no matter what I try it won't leave me alone.

So how could I dance with another (ooh)

That's not unusual though. There's really only one surefire method of getting rid of an earworm. more...

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My company is a tad meeting heavy. I've been doing what I can to reduce the number of meetings and make them more productive. I myself have never had to schedule a meeting for my own needs. I'm a productive user of the phone, email and instant messaging and confident enough to do things under my own initiative without a group consensus. I also have more than ample time to acquire any group feedback in the many meetings I attend that are scheduled by other people.

I'm in meetings pretty much the entire day today and I'm taking the battle to the next level. Last night I had double helpings of homemade split pea soup washed down by three beers. Lunch today is more split pea soup ammo.

Cry havoc, and let slip the peas of war!*

* Rob gets credit for this deliciously creative aliteration.

Posted by: Jim at 11:43 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Text messaging during meetings is the best way to alleviate boredom. If that fails, spitwads work well, too.

Posted by: Pam at March 23, 2005 12:14 PM (nTut6)

2 Do your meetings have any structure to them? I found that really helped expedite meetings that were clogging my schedule. Put someon in charge, delineate the seperate issues - all previous to the actual meeting. helps prevent rabbit trails. Well, that and strongarm tactics.

Posted by: shank at March 23, 2005 01:31 PM (+H1yK)

3 That's one of the big issues, shank. There's very little structure to the meetings. Many do not even have a distributed agenda. Or even an undistributed agenda. I'm working on that bit too.

Posted by: Jim at March 23, 2005 01:35 PM (tyQ8y)

4 We had issues with meetings too. We went to a class hosted by Verne Harnish. He teaches you instead of a grueling 1 to 5 hour meetings about nothing to having one simple 5 minute meeting everyday. Just to see if you all are on the same page. Then, once a week instead of that meeting you have a 20 to 30 minute meeting. Each person has their specific time to talk about what ever is on the agenda. (it's usually timed). If that person has more to say then you schedule seperate time on a one on one basis. You also need someone who is in charge of the meeting(to facilitate). You have to be strict and because you can have some talkers. (my boss for example). Do it with respect. Like...I understand "Paul" that that may be an issue for you & if you have a few minutes later we could talk about it more in my office. It really works in our office. It's painless and everyday we know what is happening in each of our jobs. If there are fires to put out. OR even when someone does something well. His (Vernes) website is: www.gazelles.com - you may think that it's a bunch of crap. But it's worth a look. Sorry for the unsolicited advice.

Posted by: Tiffani at March 23, 2005 02:51 PM (KE4Gu)

5 w00t ... erm ... when did I do that then?

Posted by: Rob at March 23, 2005 02:58 PM (kXZI6)

6 Tiffani - Advice is always welcome. Rob - You said it back on this post.

Posted by: Jim at March 23, 2005 04:31 PM (tyQ8y)

7 Shakespeare, nice. Or is that Peaspeare? Or Shakepeas? Or ShakesPEAre? Ehhh ... never mind. (think i killed the joke.)

Posted by: Kenny at March 24, 2005 04:00 PM (sVrPB)

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My First Babysitting Experience was a sham. The anecdote you read was inspired by my actual first babysitting experience but was given the sit-com treatment. The second and third paragraphs are pretty much the straight truth; the rest is complete tall tale. When I saw him chewing on something I asked him what it was. He told me it was a Dorito and dug another one out of the couch for me to share. I fished some more chip bits out and tossed them all into the garbage. I had him drink a glass of milk just in case but there was no panic or worry on my part. He was a bit stubborn about drinking the milk so the line about "If you don't drink this you are going to die!" was verbatim truth. The death I was speaking about was me pummeling him for disobeying the babysitter though, not a fear of poison Doritos.

9 out of 16 of you got this one correct. One point each to:

Holly
Helen
DeAnna
Paul
diamond dave
Denise
Rob
Wendy
Jeff

Clancy maintains his perfect record of never getting a Shamming/Sharing point and unfortunately Boudicca remains totally bereft of points. Don't worry, Bou. The season is yet young.

Posted by: Jim at 09:55 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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It seems that I'm not the only person offended by the frequent flushing violations in our 2nd floor mens room. Yesterday somebody printed out and posted the following sign on the inside of the bathroom door:

Way back in 1953, the U.S. Department of Health (now the CDC) determined that flushing toilets and urinals in public restrooms reduced the spread of disease by more than 88%. Today's society has acrimoniously decreed that flushing should be an automatic function (hence the many infrared toilets today). This company has determined that the use of a paltry 1.5 gallons of water per flush is worth the investment to keep its workforce healthy. So, the question to you is...

Why Don't You
Flush?

It's disgusting, rude and unsanitary.
Go back and flush.

(and then wash your hands.)

Posted by: Jim at 08:52 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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...will have an emptisensometer. When the pot is empty it will automatically turn off the coffee pot so a layer of baked coffee residue stronger than space shuttle tiles is not left in the bottom of the pot. When there is coffee left in the pot it will not start brewing, thereby preventing coffee brew overflow from cascading down the electrical appliance itself as well as the counter, cabinets and floor.

The advanced model will have a voice synthesizer for the latter case that will say something along the lines of "Hey, dumb-ass! Empty the damned pot first!"

Posted by: Jim at 08:29 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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No, I'm not getting into this one. Not the meat and potatoes part, anyway. I did want to address two things that happened recently that are getting a fair share of hoopla and generating lots of righteous indignation.

Congress passed a law for one person.

Yes, they did. They do it all of the time. This is part of the normal course of business for our lawmakers. Although I find the practice reprehensible it is neither unusual nor (as clarified by the Supremes) unconstitutional. It is normally done to grant boons or give away money. It has been used to allow immigrant families to stay in the USA. It is used regularly to bail out industries. Need to give a couple billion in tax dollars to the airline industry? Just write a law. Easy pleasy mac and cheesy.

What these personalized laws cannot be used for is to target and harm individuals. I think that this particular law will fail the test because no matter who is right in the Shiavo case this law is specifically targeting and interfering with them. I don't think this law will pass constitutional muster.

As Ilyka pointed out so very well, stop barking at Congress for doing their job.

I've just got to get this off my chest right now: One bit of idiocy that needs to die is the ranting and raving about what an abuse of government power it is that Congress got involved**. Let's at least be clear about why Congress got involved: It's because people have been bothering the living daylights out of them. It's called representative government.

Links and fancy formatting over at Ilyka's. Go read, I'll wait for you.

The federal judge in Tampa did not follow the law - he didn't order Shiavo's feeding tube replaced.

Apples and oranges. The law isn't about Terry's feeding tube, it's about the overall case being heard in federal court.

The judge would have been breaking the law if he had ordered the tube replaced, based on the information provided to him in court. At the least he would have been trampling all over proper jurisprudence. In order to find immediately for Shiavo's parents (the requirement to replace the tube) their lawyers had to show they had an expectation of winning the federal court case. They couldn't show that they even had a minuscule case according to law. No precedents, no arguments, nothing. They have been working on this for years, there are 30,000 pages of court documents already filed, they have ostensibly been preparing for this exact case and they still didn't have squat ready for this court. Their argument boiled down to "We didn't prepare anything but you need to decide in our favor because we're right".

Don't blame the judge for following the precepts of law, blame the Shindler family's crappy lawyers.

That's it for today. Maybe tomorrow I'll do the meat and potatoes post. Then again, maybe not - I enjoy having readers.

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The Showcase is a place for new blogs to show off their stuff. This week's edition features posts from nine fine young blogs.

GBfan of Spotted Horse brings us More fun with PBS and our tax dollars. Amtrak, our government subsidized rail company is a financial disaster requiring huge annual influxes of tax dollars. They are also the proud sponsors of PBS's Thomas the Tank Engine.

From Tom at Pooklekufr: The Kafir Constitutionalist we have A Brief Criticism of the Iraqi Interim Constitution.

Atlas (aka Pamela) of Atlas Shrugged submits Pamela's Weekend Recap: The Chicken Came First. Pamela answers the age old question of what came first, the blog or the blogger (and why).

Next up at A Weekend Warrior On A Rant!, the Commanded Citizen relates a wonderful little story about a bright young couple: A Young, American Bride Celebrates Her FREEDOM!

Chris Byrne of The AnarchAngel talks about his beliefs as to what the legitimate form and purpose of government are in The Politics of Liberty.

The Squib is celebrating: Coming soon to a protest near you -- Klingon pain sticks!

Ward Churchill and Gloria Steinem -- separated at birth! Sounds fantastical but Nick Weber of Libertarian Librarian makes the case.

Simon Cowell on poetry? Nope, it's Nicholas Liu of Better Living Through Buttermilk waxing the poets with Waffled through the turgid wood and blurbled as they came.

melinama of Pratie Place is a young blogger but she's got some wise advice in her post Mutuality. Unfortunately, Blogger's comment system is pooched at the moment so I couldn't put a link to Kevin Aylward's Standalone Trackback on her post. Try it out, melinama, I think you'll like it.

Next week's host is our own Mookie. Do you have a weblog that's three months young or less and want to be a part of it? Just send an email to showcase.carnival@gmail.com with the following info:

• The name of your blog


• The title of the post


• The url of the post


• Your name

Alternate entry (and doesn't that sound deliciously naughty?) may be made at the Multi-Carnival Entry Form.

Catch previous Showcases and volunteer to host new ones at the Showcase Home.

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Q: How can you tell if your roommate is gay? more...

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This is the last interview for the lucky five folks who responded the fastest in this post. Today's interviewee is Sims addict and certified MILF Margi (that's a hard "G", like in "Legs") Lowry:

1) What would you host a cable tv program about?

2) What movies do you know by heart?

3) When did you realize that life really isn't fair and when did you realize that that's okay?

4) The Sims - enlightened escapism or crack for non-druggies?

5) When did you first realize that you were in love?

Margi, to continue the game you need to snag the rules from my original post and answer these at your place. I'll link to your post when you get it up.

UPDATE: Margi's answers are up!

Posted by: Jim at 05:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Just got a friendly "TO: Everybody" email about mailing things from the office. Item 1 reminded us that the deadline to drop mail in the mail room is 4:00 PM, M-F. Item 2 reminded us that the post office picks up from the mailbox out back at 4:30 PM, M-F. The third item dealt with personal mail:

Metering your PERSONAL mail is a COURTESY and not a company requirement. As always, your payment should accompany your personal mail unless youÂ’ve communicated otherwise. With that being said, please place your mail in the appropriate outgoing tray before 4PM. NOTE: If your personal mail happens to include renewal subscriptions to any pornographic magazines, materials, and suchlike, please make sure you take care of that on your own personal time!

I really want to know what inspired that note but the receptionist isn't talking.

Posted by: Jim at 03:44 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Da rules: I post an anecdote that may or may not be true. You guess which it is, based on your knowledge of me and my curious ways. Whoever gets it right gets a point when the contest closes. Here we go:

My first babysitting experience

I was a young teen and had managed to fool my parents into believing I was a young, responsible man. Boy, did they find out different.

My first stint at babysitting my little brother (he's seven years younger) was to be a two hour stretch while the parents went out to a fancy dinner. While they dressed to the nines I amused Lil Bro and everybody was in good humor by the time they were ready to leave. I managed to completely hide my incredible nervousness at the responsibility being placed in my hands.

About five minutes after they drove off I went to the bathroom. I re-entered the family room to see the couch cushions on the floor and Lil Bro happily chewing on something. I immediately panicked. What was he eating? A bug? A razor blade? Coins? Anything at all could have been stuck underneath those cushions!

I jumped at him and tackled him to the cushions and started yelling at him to spit it out. I realize in hindsight that this was not the optimal method to get food out of a little kid in a calm and effective manner. He started bawling and choking on what was in his mouth. I dug in with my fingers in the patented Rescusi-Ann preliminary lifesaving routine. I'd had CPR training with the Boy Scouts only a short while before so the half remembered techniques were dangerously effective. The mouth clear worked and I didn't even lose a finger. more...

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1 Me thinks you're shamming.

Posted by: Holly at March 18, 2005 11:44 AM (3SP8e)

2 Sham. Who the hell keeps activated charcoal on hand? (PS-it doesn't make you throw up, although ipecac does.)

Posted by: Helen at March 18, 2005 12:16 PM (Vd6WF)

3 Total Sham!

Posted by: DeAnna at March 18, 2005 12:17 PM (IdVP4)

4 Sham. Though I sooo want it to be true.

Posted by: Paul at March 18, 2005 12:38 PM (vbP6L)

5 Sounds far fetched. But I'll disagree with everyone else and say it is TRUE!

Posted by: Huts at March 18, 2005 01:05 PM (x7s+C)

6 true. Dear God i hope it's true. because if it is, that is arguably the BEST babysitting story ever. :-D

Posted by: tommy at March 18, 2005 01:21 PM (VCRgB)

7 I'm going with TRUE. Other players take note - I have NEVER guessed a Shamming or Sharing correct. Ever.

Posted by: Clancy at March 18, 2005 02:51 PM (JxYJc)

8 Oh it has to be true. Sounds exactly like what a freaked out kid would do.

Posted by: Machelle at March 18, 2005 02:53 PM (ZAyoW)

9 Sharing. Although, I'm with Helen about the charcoal and it has me questioning my guess. But I'll stay with sharing.

Posted by: Tiffani at March 18, 2005 04:01 PM (KE4Gu)

10 Yah, charcoal is a neutralizer. It's the Ipecac that induces vomiting. But charcoal does not neutralize the vomitorious effects of Ipecac. hehe

Posted by: Jim at March 18, 2005 04:18 PM (tyQ8y)

11 "My little brother ate poison! Waaaaaah! I need my Mom! Waaaaaah! I don't know what to do! Waaaaaaah!" Bullshit. I've never known a teen to react that way over a stale Dorito. Now, if you made fun of him and said "You're going to die. Nyanyanya!" or "the hospital is going to put this HUGE tube put down your throat to pump your stomach, hahahahaha!" I would believe you. After all, that's what my brother and sister did to me...

Posted by: diamond dave at March 18, 2005 04:38 PM (/816A)

12 Hey, I was a very sensitive child. And I was only 13 at the time. I didn't turn bitter and cynical until 15.

Posted by: Jim at March 18, 2005 05:03 PM (tyQ8y)

13 Complete sham. Boys do not freak out over eating old, stale, or moldy Doritos.

Posted by: Denise at March 18, 2005 05:43 PM (JTlEe)

14 Sham! ... cos ... you're an only child???

Posted by: Rob at March 18, 2005 06:48 PM (n5PpA)

15 Had two brothers by blood (Lil Bro is stil around). Also two sisters and another brother by marriage of parental units.

Posted by: Jim at March 18, 2005 06:54 PM (MDLz3)

16 Total Sham. I agree with Dave. I can't see ANY teenager, much less a boy, crying over a moldy Dorito. In fact, I would be surprised if you didn't dare him to eat it. By the way - if you thought Sham because of the charcoal, remember it's a kid, they don't know what's what with the vomit stuff. But I still say SHAM!!!

Posted by: Wendy at March 18, 2005 09:08 PM (lVGGv)

17 That has to be a sham. AHAHAH! Ipecac for doritos!

Posted by: Jeff at March 19, 2005 11:09 AM (b5dIr)

18 True and I'm scared that you procreated... ;-)

Posted by: Boudicca at March 19, 2005 09:51 PM (z7nbM)

19 I'm saying true. And I'm glad this is back. No one spins a yarn quite like you...

Posted by: Simon at March 20, 2005 10:24 PM (UKqGy)

20 Share......

Posted by: Mitzi Moore at March 21, 2005 07:38 AM (OZ5tI)

21 I'm going with mostly true, I think there is some exageration. However if it's not true you know an old friend of mine who did do something like that what he was in 7th grade. Although he used kingsford charcole.

Posted by: contagion at March 21, 2005 08:20 AM (Q5WxB)

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The rules (now modified from the generic meme version because with issue #4 it becomes mine):

1. In the extended entry are quotes from 13 movies. Your job is to identify the movie that each quote came from.


2. Guess as many times as you want, just don't get silly about it.


3. First person to correctly guess each entry gets a point. If there are any left after 24 hours they are worth 2 points.


4. As people guess the films I will strike out those entries and note who got it first.


5. NO cheating!!! That means NO: Google, IMDb, searching my archives etc.!

Posted by: Jim at 08:02 AM | Comments (31) | Add Comment
Post contains 742 words, total size 5 kb.

Well today was definitely interesting. I arrived at work to a message from my boss asking if I could join a meeting. He's remote and was having connectivity problems and there was too much visual going on for him to follow well over the phone. When I got into the meeting he dropped out.

So I was in a meeting with the execs from a new division of the company. The division is new because we just acquired their company. A morning and most of the early afternoon was spent helping them define their business objectives and doing business analysis and requirements for their web portal and consumer online presence.

Weird activities for a quality assurance specialist, eh?

Got a call from my boss during the meeting, asking me to call him back when I had a few minutes. Don't you hate messages like that? Ones that give you no clue why you're calling? I sure do.

So I called him and he explained that the very large project I am consulting on now was being reorganized. He was taking over management of the project himself. Problem being, he can't be on-site here to actually manage the project. So, could I help out by doing the business analysis and business requirements locally?

There's those words again. Business Analysis. Business Requirements. Not QA stuff. Program analysis and standards are QA things. But I love doing this stuff so I said of course I'd be happy to help. That's when he popped the question.

Would I consider leaving QA for a Project Management position? He wants me on the business side of the business, said I excelled there. Yes, QA is very important but he has a critical shortage on the BA side of his house. He reassured me that it wasn't a do or die thing. I was hired for QA, I am doing a fantastic job here, this job is secure if I want to stay in it. But, would I like to step to the next level under the executorium?

I said "Hell, yeah. What took you so long to offer it? I've been here waiting for five freaking months already! Hello?"

Well, maybe it was more along the lines of a gracious acceptance. The position switch will come about in the near future after we wrap me out of some QA projects.

Say hello to Jim Peacock, Project Manager elect.

Posted by: Jim at 02:47 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 414 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Congratulations, I hope you enjoy the new position. I know personally I always love being promoted.

Posted by: Contagion at March 17, 2005 02:55 PM (Q5WxB)

2 Hello, Jim Peacock, Project Manager elect. Congrats!

Posted by: DeAnna at March 17, 2005 02:59 PM (IdVP4)

3 Congrats Project Manager Elect Jim Peacock.

Posted by: tommy at March 17, 2005 03:13 PM (VCRgB)

4 Eerie. Is your career path synchronized with Helen's, or what? Congratulations! May you know no Hadrians and no Roosters.

Posted by: ilyka at March 17, 2005 03:19 PM (q2ID+)

5 The use of an ancient Chinese curse in your title followed by news that your boss wanted to talk to you was unnerving. Thought you were going to tell us you were unemployed again. Anyway, happy to hear that the news was good instead. Congratulations!

Posted by: diamond dave at March 17, 2005 04:31 PM (Zd60f)

6 I've been following Ilyka around saying "What She Said" all day; why should this post be any different?

Posted by: Margi at March 17, 2005 05:29 PM (lWAiX)

7 When the honeymoon phase is over, drop me a line! Archive everything about this day because when you have a bad one (and I predict you will), you'll want a reminder about why you said yes to this role! I'm a manager of HR projects (including technology projects). I have three major organizational transformation projects on the go and I'm in major project head mode right now (i.e., waking up at three in the morning and leaving myself voice mails, having vivid dreams about murdering a member of my team or vice versa!). We have team sympathy cards, pre-signed with appropriate condolences by team members. When you have a bad day, you get the sympathy card and get to keep it until the next poor person has one! We also customize Dilbert cartoons and send them to ourselves. Get to know Dilbert. But to be serious for a minute, enjoy this moment! I wish you well........

Posted by: knpepper at March 17, 2005 08:13 PM (MURV4)

8 I really enjoyed when I was a Project Manager. Have fun! I think it's a great job.

Posted by: Bou at March 17, 2005 08:40 PM (z7nbM)

9 I should get at least one synchronicity point; you're going from a QA job into a project manager job and I'm going from a project management job into a QA job (yes, I know it's management, but it's still in the QA department). Eerily coincidental, doncha think? And congrats; I'm sure it's well-deserved.

Posted by: Kathleen at March 17, 2005 08:58 PM (zGCA0)

10 Jim, I am damn happy for you and thrilled that people are leaning on you and know you are competent. Congrats on that, sweetie. May org charts fall in your stride. I swear I don't want to urinate all over your public holiday, but are you sure about all of the details? Did you get a pay raise and agree that you have the control of the project (warning bells sounded when you wrote: "He was taking over management of the project himself. Problem being, he can't be on-site here to actually manage the project. So, could I help out by doing the business analysis and business requirements locally?" In my world that translates to: you don't get the say-so, you get to be the go-to guy. I swear I just want you to be covered on all bases-I would hate for you to be in the utter hell I am in, especially since I know you are competent and clever and deserve this. *wipes self now*

Posted by: Helen at March 18, 2005 03:27 AM (Vd6WF)

11 hooray Jim! Does this mean I can include you as a 'contact' in my network now? Let's do lunch!

Posted by: shank at March 18, 2005 09:02 AM (+H1yK)

12 hello to Jim Peacock, Prime Minister reject. Hope you get elected next time. OO! 1pm! Time for my dyslexia medication...

Posted by: Harvey at March 18, 2005 01:55 PM (tJfh1)

13 I agree /w what Helen said. Similar thing happened to me; it stank. The very best of luck to you, Jim. I know *you* make your own luck, and that's the best kind.

Posted by: Victor and his fifteen pet rats at March 18, 2005 03:48 PM (L3qPK)

14 Thanks everybody! Fear not, Helen and Victor, it's on the up and up. This particular project is a problem child but the position will be the real thing. Not to toot my own horn but they're removing an established Project Manager and putting me on instead because it only started actually moving when I started working on it.

Posted by: Jim at March 18, 2005 03:54 PM (tyQ8y)

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