I need a motto for the Nationalist Party of America. This is the political party I started up back in December to make a home for all of us who are either too right for the Dems, too left for the Reps, plain sick of partisan politics or think government needs to get its nose out of our personal areas.

It sort of fizzled out due to lack of participation and a very busy Jim but Michele's cry for help and a well timed comment by Ilyka have revived my fighting spirit. As everybody knows, the key to success in politics is to have a catchy slogan so that's my next order of business.

Here are a couple I thought of:

"Yes Virginia, there is a viable third party."
"Don't settle for the lesser of two evils, pick the least of three."

But they sort of don't really ring out too well. So I'm throwing open the floor to y'all. Come up with party slogans. There will be two categories: serious and seriously funny. Points will be awarded to the top three in each category.

Posted by: Jim at 03:57 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I went out for a smoke break just a bit ago and realized I had left my lighter in the van. I retrieved said lighter and mid-way through my smoke I realized something. This was my second smoke break. I had already had a cigarette. Without a lighter.

There's only one logical explanation - I have superpowers. I unconsciously lit the first cigarette using my mental energies.

I'm currently trying to direct my newfound powers against Boman in the hopes that heat really does sterilize.

Posted by: Jim at 12:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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There will be one interview post per day as I interview the lucky five folks who responded the fastest in this post. Today's interviewee is my favorite ex-pat in Israel, Rachel Ann from Willowgreen:

1) What tasks would you most like to have an army of trained monkeys (not "The Monkey") do for you?

2) What's the most bizarre thing to happen to you lately?

3) If you had one moment to do over, to either change the outcome or savor the moment again, which moment would it be?

4) What does Israel need to do to ensure its prosperity and security?

5) What's your idea of a romantic evening?

Rachel Ann, to continue the game you need to snag the rules from my original post and answer these at your place. I'll link to your post when you get it up.

Update: Rachel Ann has posted her answers.

Posted by: Jim at 12:01 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The gross guy. The one who doesn't understand the social niceties of cleanliness. The guy with the black mouse that started as a white one and a keyboard that makes crunchy sounds when it's used due to the many cracker and chip bits lodged between the keys. The one with stained clothes featuring crusty cuffs from nose wipes and a greasy patch on each thigh from using pants as a napkin substitute.

At my last job this guy was infamous for his unsanitary habits. His cubicle smelled vaguely like a three week old roadkilled opossum dipped in urine. He eventually left us for a fantastic work from home opportunity. We celebrated for a week.

At this job he is known primarily for his personal odors. He has sparkling white teeth that starkly contrast with the brimstone and cabbage that he exhales. How can somebody who obviously brushes regularly have such a mouth odor problem? My theory is that he has no dental hygiene, rotted his teeth out and wears dentures.

He is also possessed of an unearthly stench about his person. It's an odor that says he fell in love with the Shower-to-Shower concept and has accepted talcum powder as his personal savior. He is a master at the Silent But Deadly. I've never heard him cut one loose but he is followed by the permanent aroma of juicy anal exhalation.

I have named him Boman* and he is my personal nemesis.

So, what's your guy like?

* B.O. Man

Posted by: Jim at 10:58 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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There will be one interview post per day as I interview the lucky five folks who responded the fastest in this post. Today's interviewee is my very own blogdaughter Tiffani from Breakfast With Tiffani:

1) Who's your daddy?

2) What cartoon would you go live in for a week?

3) If you could create a new tradition, what would it be and why?

4) What do you do with your spare change?

5) What sense has the greatest sensual effect on you? We want details here.

Tiffani, to continue the game you need to snag the rules from my original post and answer these at your place. I'll link to your post when you get it up.

UDPATE: Tiffani has posted her answers. Warning - 18 and over only. Wakka wakka.

Posted by: Jim at 02:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The caption contest is complete!

(Click to enlarge)

Grand Prize: 5 points
Bingo's twelve-step program wasn't going as well as he'd hoped.
LeeAnn

First runner up: 3 points (selected by Condi Rice's dominatrix boots)
You know, I bet this would be easier with a spoon...and thumbs...
Victor

Second runner up: 2 points (selected by an imaginary number)
Hello Ambition, my name is Lack of Forethought.
shank

Third runner up: 1 point (selected by the ginormous zit on my co-worker's forehead that sucks my eyes toward it like a suppurating black hole)
CANNED DOG MEAT WARNING: Do not shake before opening.
8ZERO8

Posted by: Jim at 12:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Anybody out there care to design a site? My friend Amy from work is about to start a weblog. She knows basic html but little CSS and no MT and could definitely use some help from the magnificent talent that runs around here.

Rob is my go-to guy because of his mad design skillz but I've got him tied up pretty well already with a redesign for Zero Intelligence.*

She's looking for a simple, attractive design. Here's the skinny on the site focus (from the post linked above):

Her site will serve as a resource collection for abused kids and parents who need help. The blog posts will be news items and editorial/Op-ed pieces related to the same topic. Overall, very similar to Zero Intelligence so take a look over there to see what she's aiming for.

So who's volunteering?

* Then again, Amy wouldn't mind waiting a little bit if necessary. So Rob, if you want to queue her up feel free to jump on this fantastic offer too! No, wait. It's not a fantastic offer. It's more work. Let me rephrase that:

So Rob, if you want to prove beyond a doubt how masochistic you are, feel free to jump right on this and queue her up!

Yeah, that's a bit more realistic. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at 11:14 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I'm hosting the New Blog Showcase the week of March 21. If you've got a blog that's three months old or younger, send me a link to your best post. It will appear in the Showcase where it will be seen by millions of people who will then fall in love with your writing and launch you to fame and glory.

Here's the info you should send:

• The name of your blog


• The title of the post


• The url of the post


• Your name

A brief description of the post or a narrative blurb is also a good idea. It makes my job easier and anything that makes my job easier is a good idea.

Another good idea is to use a subject like "New Blog Showcase submission" on the email so it's easier to separate from the mountains of spam.

Send your submission to showcase.carnival@gmail.com by Sunday, 7PM EST to be included in next week's edition of the showcase.

You can also use the handy dandy Carnival Submit Form in lieu of email. We're listed as the "Showcase Carnival" there.

You can find links to previous carnivals here.

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Today marks the anniversary of one of the happiest days of my life. more...

Posted by: Jim at 05:51 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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1 Hooray! Wishing you many more.

Posted by: Paul at March 15, 2005 07:44 AM (vbP6L)

2 You should celebrate. Have you facialed someone today yet?

Posted by: pylorns at March 15, 2005 08:15 AM (FTYER)

3 Not yet, no. But the day is young!

Posted by: Jim at March 15, 2005 08:17 AM (tyQ8y)

4 You remember the day you started masterbating? That's, uh, impressive. Happy Manniversary!

Posted by: Holly at March 15, 2005 08:23 AM (3SP8e)

5 It was a defining moment. Like finding my long-lost twin. "Manniversary"...ooh, I like that!

Posted by: Jim at March 15, 2005 08:29 AM (tyQ8y)

6 You are REALLY discusting!:-P

Posted by: LW at March 15, 2005 09:15 AM (MDLz3)

7 It IS impressive that you remembered the day. Let's give the man a hand! We're all pulling for another 23 years! Swallow your pride and just admit-it's a toss up! (Dude. Someone had to do it.)

Posted by: Helen at March 15, 2005 10:26 AM (Vd6WF)

8 So sorry-I just googled "slang for masturbation" that had the very best euphemism I have ever heard in my life: "Date my palm". Oh yeah. I'm still laughing in an entirely immature way.

Posted by: Helen at March 15, 2005 10:29 AM (Vd6WF)

9 Helen wins! I'm not sure what the contest was but that entry is going to be hard to beat. (ba-dum-pah) My favortie euphamism is "Dusting the duvet". It sounds so classy.

Posted by: Jim at March 15, 2005 10:43 AM (tyQ8y)

10 My favorite has always been "punching the clown". It always makes me giggle because deep down I am a 12 year old boy. Happy Handiversary, J-Snooze.

Posted by: DeAnna at March 15, 2005 12:22 PM (IdVP4)

11 There is no way I could possibly be forced to recall when I discovered the whole palm dating thing. I mean - yeah, I discovered it and all, but I don't remember much about the when... 11, 12 - who knows??? How can you possibly remember this?

Posted by: Clancy at March 15, 2005 01:36 PM (JxYJc)

12 Yeah, there has GOT to be a story here, Jim. No one really remembers the exact date they discovered self-love!

Posted by: DeAnna at March 15, 2005 05:23 PM (IdVP4)

13 I'm going to say true (whatever happened to that?) "Choking the monkey" or "Taming the one-eyed blue-viened monster" are two personal favs. It's interesting you remember your first time. Was it good for you, too?

Posted by: Simon at March 15, 2005 07:42 PM (OyeEA)

14 I quote the cousin who apears to favor "spanking the monkey"....

Posted by: LW at March 15, 2005 10:04 PM (MDLz3)

15 LOL! Happy Manniversary

Posted by: vw bug at March 17, 2005 12:31 PM (ZmXG8)

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It's March 15th and that means The Grande 2004 Peacock Invitational has come to a close. So, how did we do?

Of the five of us, two made it. Tiffany's breasts did not get bigger as planned but except for this small setback she made it through a smoke free year without a problem. Tig made it too and keeps his last unsmoken ciggarette as a war trophy.

I lost it sometime during my pain filled unemployment days. Ironic, eh? Lose a job and pick back up an expensive bad habit. Jeremy didn't make it either. Busy stress life brought this valiant warrior low. And what of Joey? He got busy with school and work and disappeared many moons ago. It's possible that he survived but signs point to no. If he ever resurfaces we'll ask him and collect cash if what we suspect is true.

So over the course of a year we had a 40% success rate. That's hella better than any professional system out there. Think I should pattent this?

Posted by: Jim at 05:51 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 I was wonder what had happened - I'd seen where you had removed your link (or whatever you did to signify you were out of the running.) So - did you pay the blood money??

Posted by: Clancy at March 15, 2005 08:48 AM (JxYJc)

2 Yup. Jeremy and I paid up. Joey just vanished so nobody knows what happened with him.

Posted by: Jim at March 15, 2005 08:55 AM (tyQ8y)

3 Tiffani's link goes to Tig's blog. Guess you were having a bad copy-and-paste day :-)

Posted by: Harvey at March 16, 2005 02:39 PM (tJfh1)

4 Doh! Fixed now. I guess that shows just how often my links are used.

Posted by: Jim at March 16, 2005 02:44 PM (tyQ8y)

5 *cries at name mis-spelling*

Posted by: Tiffany at March 16, 2005 07:47 PM (bj98V)

6 Name mis-spelling? What name mis-spelling? [whistles nonchallantly] Sorry about that, Tiffany. I was working up interview questions for my blogdaughter just before this post and I had "i" on the brain.

Posted by: Jim at March 16, 2005 07:50 PM (MDLz3)

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There will be one interview post per day as I interview the lucky five folks who responded the fastest to this post. Today's interviewee is the lovely and talented Holly from RavenRose Yawns:

1) What was it about blogging that first attracted you to the milieu? What kept you?

2) What words do people commonly misuse that drive you crazy?

3) What is the best and most uplifting story you've read recently?

4) If you had two weeks of free time with no responsibilities and no cash-flow issues, what would you do?

5) What event would you have most liked to have witnessed first hand?

Holly, you can answer these here or at your place. If you do it over there make sure to send me a trackback or comment so I'll know where to find it.

Update: Holly has posted her answers. You go now!

Posted by: Jim at 04:06 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 http://www.tinklebelle.com/RavenRose/index.php?p=191 There ya go!

Posted by: Holly at March 14, 2005 03:58 PM (3SP8e)

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Over the weekend I received an email from a phisher trying to get my eBay log-in information. I'm not exactly sure why my eBay log-in information would be of any value to anybody. It's a buy-as-you-go type of place so it's not like they would have gotten any of my money or anything.

But it really pissed me off. It pissed me off enough that I went through the email headers to find the originator domain and sent this email to their abuse address:

One of your customers is a motherfucking, cock sucking, phishing bastard. I sincerely hope he dies with his severed cock shoved up his ass as he gags on his own vomit.

Just thought you'd like to know. Headers below, followed by the phishing email:

[headers]

[original email]

You can tell I was really angry because I never say "gag" unless I'm seriously burnt.

Unbelievably, I got an actual answer back, from an actual email address, from what (if I close my eyes and click my heels together three times) could be confused with an actual person!

Hello,

We are currently investigating who sent that message.

Kind regards,
Vlad Georgiev
Technical Support

Sure, it's an auto-response and yeah, it's probably from the same group that is doing the phishing. Still, through an alcohol induced haze it appeared like I was making a difference, and isn't that really what it's all about?

Appearances, yeah.

Posted by: Jim at 11:07 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I think they wanted your login to get to your Paypal login possibly. Also, they could use your account to bid on things, for which you would pretty much have to pay for right? I guess it would be a good way to make sure they sold their stuff at decent prices.

Posted by: shank at March 14, 2005 12:21 PM (+H1yK)

2 Hmmmm..... I just got a phishing email at my charter.net addy ..... and that irritates me!! Thats the first one I've gotten at that addy ..... Whatever you do .....NEVER EVER EVER click on the link provided in those emails!!!!!! NEVER EVER!!

Posted by: Denise at March 14, 2005 12:22 PM (JTlEe)

3 How 'bout giving us some standard form letters for replies to phishing scams? I just love your command of the English language and ability to properly communicate in a business letter format. Think we can all learn from it. "...severed cock shoved up his ass as he gags on his own vomit" indeed!

Posted by: diamond dave at March 14, 2005 10:25 PM (P0Fqu)

4 Feel free to use this one as an all purpose template, Dave. You'd be surprised at the results it gets!

Posted by: Jim at March 15, 2005 05:15 AM (MDLz3)

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Yet another reason why I do so seriously kick ass. When the zombie invasion comes I'll be a survivor.

Flock to me children, I will lead you to salvation. Or at least a relatively brain-free diet.

Official Survivor!

You scored 65%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 90% on survivalpoints.

The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test

(Hat tip to A Small Victory)

Posted by: Jim at 09:05 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Rob wants to know what five things in your office you must have in order to function.

Take a look at your desk or workspace. If youÂ’re anything like me then itÂ’s a carefully crafted piece of chaos theory in action.

Everything on there is useful or has purpose but of all the clutter (apologies if youÂ’re one of these uber tidy people for whom a desk is a sacred, set square perfect place) which 5 things canÂ’t you live without?

Hmmm...

My laptop is definitely number one. Without it I can do nothing constructive and instead must fill my time with useless fillers such as coffee breaks, trips to the bathroom and meetings.

Number two is a combo of the red pen of doom and the highlighter of death. These weapons are used to disembowel substandard documentation that is given to me as sacrifice. I return the carcasses to the petitioners for disposal and occasionally grant them my blessing.

My phone is annoyingly required and comes in at number three. Not for regular phone calls - I never make those and receive a stunningly low amount of them (thanks to IM and email) - but for the increasingly frequent online meetings that I dial into.

My fourth required item is my Blue Power Ranger action figure. It was given to me by Bear and it guards my cube 24x7.

My fifth is pretty much the same as Rob's. I have a business card pinned to the wall next to my monitor because I am apparently incapable of remembering where I work or what my phone number is.

Posted by: Jim at 11:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yesterday's stank source has been identified. I was more correct with the stink bomb theory, except the perpetrators were our IT guys.

We have a large server farm located downtown (production) and a smaller farm locally (development). The server room is protected by an advanced fire retardant system. If fire is detected it floods the room with a gas that eliminates all oxygen therefor extinguishing the fire. The gas is harmless to electrical components and is odorless.

Odorless, that is, until a chemical is added to it to produce a strong odor. This is done to give an olfactory notification that the system was used and the room is compromised and possibly dangerous until completely ventilated. A very good idea.

Unfortunately the chemical used produces a smell like burning sulfur or Zeus's own gaseous expulsion. Why in the world would they choose such an obnoxious odor for the telltale? What's wrong with cinnamon or vanilla? Maybe a fresh pine scent would give just as much notice that something happened and yet allow everybody within the building work without constantly fighting their gag reflex. Hell, I'd settle for new car smell.

Personally I think it has something to do with the fact that the corporate IT guys work downtown. I bet their system smells like roses when it goes off.

Posted by: Jim at 08:22 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Da rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me". The first five commenters will be the participants.


2. I will respond by asking you five questions.


3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.


4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.


5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (Write your own questions or borrow some.)

My questions come from Nick Queen of Patriot Paradox fame.

How would you describe yourself, and how would this differ from your wife's description of you?
Mild mannered, geekish, a bit anal retentive and possessed of an excellent sense of humor. Lovely Wife would probably agree with that but might stress the anal retentive aspect a bit. She'd also mention my "magic fingers".

What is your favorite joke?
Congress.

What is the worst job you've ever held?
I was stock boy at the bookstore of the University of Buffalo for the better part of a year. Combine tediousness, lack of pay, zero benefits and stultifying boredom interrupted with periods of unrelenting stress. I got a parking ticket once for parking at work during book rush one semester. During this period of incredibly heavy business, students can only park in the bookstore parking lot for one hour at a time. I was there all day and had a student parking tag so they gave me a ticket. I complained, saying I worked there and had been at work the entire time. Employees who were not students parked at work with no problem. The response was basically "Eat the ticket and don't park at work during book rush if you're a student".

Do you believe in anything paranormal (ufo's, Bigfoot)?
I believe in two things: Occam's Razor and the infinite ability of people to invent things. Sure, there have been unidentified flying objects but aliens are way down on the razor's list of explanations. I can't imagine a race that is scientifically advanced enough to cross the infinite vastness of space would do so in order to feed their hillbilly butthole fetish. Bigfoot? It's certainly possible that there's a big monkey out there that hasn't been tagged and bagged yet. New species are being discovered all the time. Far more likely is a mixture of misunderstanding, imagination and hoax. I guess you could safely label me as a skeptic.

What is the most embarrassing moment in your life thus far?
Going to a beach party in San Diego and waking up naked on a beach in Los Angeles. Not only was I never able to definitively discover what had happened at the party but the adventure of getting back to San Diego threatened to leave my face in a permanent reddened state.

Posted by: Jim at 04:55 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Leaving work the other day I ran into Luka, of ER fame.

Okay, so he wasn't really Goran Visnjic, he's a programmer from a group I don't usually deal with. But he could be Goran's long lost twin.

He's from Athens (Georgia, not Greece) and has one of the most phenomenal southern drawls I've ever encountered. It was seriously weird looking at this guy who looks just like Luka and hearing Boss Hogg.

When I told Lovely Wife she responded with "He looks like Luka? When do I get to meet him?". Something tells me this guy is swimming in women.

As long as he keeps his mouth shut, anyway.

Interesting... Spellcheck had a problem with "Luka" but "Goran Visnjic" sailed right through. Who's making the dictionaries for these things?

Posted by: Jim at 09:25 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 Just one thing.....the real Luka is not from Greece but Kroatia. Dude,I deserve points for that!

Posted by: LW at March 10, 2005 10:41 AM (MDLz3)

2 I meant the guy at work is from the Athens in Georgia, not the Athens in Greece. But I'll give you a point for clarifying.

Posted by: Jim at March 10, 2005 10:45 AM (tyQ8y)

3 All I have to say is huminahumina.

Posted by: Tiffani at March 10, 2005 11:52 AM (KE4Gu)

4 Hmm.... If I weren't married, I do believe I'd be asking to visit your place of work. Just sayin'

Posted by: Boudicca at March 10, 2005 12:45 PM (z7nbM)

5 Nuh huh. Not interested. Ya'll can get in line in front of me. He's too broody, too. . .I dunno. Not my type. As for the spellcheck, as soon as you figure that one out, lemme know.

Posted by: Margi at March 10, 2005 12:56 PM (lWAiX)

6 Minus 1 point for spelling Croatia with a 'K'

Posted by: Huts at March 10, 2005 02:30 PM (x7s+C)

7 Nope, she's excused for that one. It's spelled with a 'K' over there.

Posted by: Jim at March 10, 2005 03:50 PM (tyQ8y)

8 Yes, but we are here.

Posted by: Huts at March 10, 2005 04:37 PM (x7s+C)

9 Just because you Americans spell everything the way you like it and change things to fit your needs,it doesn't make it right.Its spelled with a K in the country of orign,therefore it IS correct with a K and INCORRECT with a C. So there. :-P

Posted by: LW at March 10, 2005 04:46 PM (MDLz3)

10 Next time I'm in Georgia, I'll have to drop some Rolos off at your office.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 10, 2005 05:30 PM (DRmU4)

11 I have but one question: does he live on the second floor? (I sure hope somebody gets that, or all of y'all will think I'm a nutcase)

Posted by: Kathleen at March 10, 2005 07:12 PM (zGCA0)

12 I'm not sure if he lives on the second floor but we do work on the second floor. "I look like Luka, I work on the second floor." It works.

Posted by: Jim at March 10, 2005 07:25 PM (MDLz3)

13 Who's Luka? I thought that was Helen's MIA teddy bear.

Posted by: Victor at March 11, 2005 01:01 PM (L3qPK)

14 *I'm* in Athens, Georgia! Where is he? Why haven't I seen him? hubba hubba!

Posted by: Trey Givens at March 14, 2005 09:45 AM (yaMs/)

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Got on the elevator this morning and was immediately assaulted. Somebody had fouled the beast.

Got off of the elevator and was met with a stronger version of the same odor. Apparently somebody had done a preliminary attack in the elevator and then launched the atomic blast in the atrium.

Walked to my cube and found no lessening of the odoriferous monstrosity. The terrorist must be somebody in my department.

Went to the break room for coffee. Stank present. Now I began to worry.

In amazement I made a full tour of the floor. The smell of anal exhalation was everywhere.

Either we've been stink bombed or somebody's guts have turned feral.

Posted by: Jim at 09:17 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Congress is investigating the Major League Baseball steroid abuse scandal. Say what?

Just what the hell gives Congress the power to investigate a private enterprise in this manner? Does steroids in baseball compromise national security? Is a drug free baseball league some sort of little known right of the American people?

Lemme check...

Nope. Nothing at all in the Constitution says that Congress is the regulatory body for private sports organizations. Understandably, the League has an opinion similar to my own.

Stanley Brand, a lawyer for the baseball commissioner's office, said the committee had no jurisdiction, was trying to violate baseball's first amendment privacy rights, and was attempting to "satisfy their prurient interest into who may and may not have engaged in this activity."

This isn't just any Congressional panel either. It's the "Government Reform Committee". What is the purpose of the Government Reform Committee? According to their website, they don't have one. There is no overall guiding focus noted for this committee anywhere in their literature. Isn't that wonderful?

The subcommittees are a bit more forthcoming. The subcommittee for Criminal Justice, Drug Policy and Human Resources has this little "About us" blurb:

The Subcommittee is responsible for authorizing legislation for the Office of National Drug Control Policy and its programs as well as general oversight for all U.S. government drug control efforts (including international and interdiction programs, law enforcement, and prevention and treatment initiatives). It also has oversight jurisdiction for several cabinet departments, including the Department of Justice, certain activities of the Department of Health and Human Services, the Department of Education, the Department of Commerce, and other agencies including the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives and the federal court system. In addition to its ongoing work on drug policy matters, the Subcommittee has most recently completed an intensive review of U.S. border agencies and policies and the impact of enhanced homeland security requirements on federal law enforcement.

So it sets and authorizes legislation on drugs and has oversight power over a bunch of government departments. This would seem to give them the power to subpoena and question people in those departments. Where in this mass of gobbledygook do they invent an authorization to directly investigate a private enterprise? According to the Committee this sweeping power comes from "House Rules":

Reacting to Brand's comments, committee spokesman David Marin said: "Mr. Brand has his facts wrong. He failed to recognize that House rules give this committee the authority to investigate any matter at any time, and we are authorized to request or compel testimony and document production related to any investigation. It's a shame that Major League Baseball has resorted to hiding behind 'legalese' -- and inaccurate 'legalese' at that."

Hiding behind 'legalese'? How about improper use of unregulated and illegally appropriated power?

These people make me ill. I sincerely hope we see Major League Baseball v. Associated Congressional Fucktards in the courts soon.

Posted by: Jim at 08:26 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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It started innocuously enough. On an ostensibly cooperative "humanitarian" mission to the tsunami ravaged Far East, the senior George Bush connived to get ex-President Bill Clinton, a post-operative heart surgery patient, to sleep on the cold, hard floor.

The next morning, Bush said he peeked in and saw Clinton sound asleep on the plane's floor. [The article does not mention how Bill then slept through Bush's cackling, maniacal laughter. - ed]

Now we learn that Clinton must undergo another round of surgery to attempt to repair damage to his lungs.

Former President Clinton will undergo a medical procedure this week to remove an unusual buildup of fluid and scar tissue from his chest, six months after he underwent quadruple bypass surgery [And just a few weeks after being forced to sleep on the cold, hard floor. - ed], his office said Tuesday.

You don't have to take your tin foil hat off to connect the dots here, people. You can almost taste the taint of Karl Rove on this plot. This is obviously an attempt by the Bush Monarchy to head off the Hillary Clinton presidential run in 2008. If they succeed in killing off Mr.Clinton they will send poor Hillary into a trough of despair from which her broken heart will never recover. Even if they have a near miss and only turn Bill into a bed-ridden differently-abled individual they know that Hillary will immediately resign her Senate seat and forgo all political ambitions to nurse him and be constantly by his side.

Now the truth is revealed. Who has the guts to brave the stormtroopers of Halliburton to do something about it? The first step is obvious. Everybody needs to link to this post and spread news of the plot. Eventually, if we all do our part, somebody at Reuters who isn't compromised by the jackbooted government thugs will pick it up and spread the truth to the world.

Only the truth, shouted loud and proud, can save Hillary and Bill from this diabolical threat. And as we all know, only Hillary can end the neocon threat, restore us to a life of liberty, and deliver the holy grail of free medical. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:47 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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