Well. Jim has told us why he's not here ("Just been flat out busy, y'all.") and promises he, like MacArthur, shall return ("I shall return."). I have no idea what to make of the mild curse ("Dang.") because I can't tell if he's upset because he hasn't posted, because he's flat out busy, because someone else is posting on his site, or if it's just a general exclamation of frustration. Who really knows?

Besides Jim, I mean.

Then there're the threats by some BlogSnot poseur going by my old nickname of Wolf (that was the nickname I had before Bunny, for what it's worth), who promises he will, "have (Jim's) goddamned Charter pulled," which is amazing to me because the only person who can pull Jim's "charter" is his LW, though Jim just might let Wolf pull his charter since he has one of the gayest blogs around.

That is, of course, between Jim and Wolf. Anyhoo.

Due to the underwhelming reaction to my last movie offering, I've decided a different, shorter one is in order. I hope you all enjoy the late '60's PSA VD is for Everybody as much as I did.

Posted by: Victor at 07:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 204 words, total size 1 kb.

Before anyone starts asking the Snooze Crew^TM why Jim isn't posting, I'll answer: We don't know. Jim may be a benevolent God, but he doesn't tell us everything. I suspect he's just being Fashionably Late with his next post.

In the meantime, for all those waiting patiently for some Bloggy Goodness from Jim, I invite you to watch this short film, Squeak the Squirrel, about a cute little squirrel who perseveres (and suceeds!) despite all of the obstacles put in his way by The Man^TM.

Posted by: Victor at 01:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

Jim's such a benevolent dictator if he wins the lottery he's going to buy us all a big ass present. I am super grateful and don't want to come across as an ingrate, so if he wins I'm hoping he'll use part of the money he would have otherwise spent on me to have Xzibit and MTV Pimp His Ride.

That's right, it'd no longer be a Milk White Mini-Van for my Boy.
He'd be pimptastic cruisin' in this ride:

Posted by: phin at 11:05 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.

Unfortunately we didn't budget for that this year. But hope is not lost! The Georgia Lottery (well, one of the Georgia lotteries - we have more state sponsored gambling here than Nevada) is over $100 million and if I can scrounge together a dollar I plan on winning it.

I figure that after taxes, setting up college funds, leveling and rebuilding our house, buying yachts and cars and "personal appliances", binging, parties and all that other standard stuff is complete I'll have a cool hundred grand left to blow on my fans. I figure I'll spend $2,000 each on my fifty most motivated readers.

So sound off on what you want for your present. Lurkers, this is a great time to speak up. With palimony suits what they are these days, this is likely legally binding.

And what the heck - in the off chance that I don't win the lottery I'll give out some points to the best gift ideas in each category. Categories to be announced later - I don't want to unduly influence your selections.

Posted by: Jim at 01:44 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 196 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I've had my heart set on this for the past twenty years or so. I'd really be appreciaitve if you could swing it. http://www.french-at-a-touch.com/Chateaux/chateau_chambord.htm

Posted by: Paul at June 02, 2005 02:25 PM (vbP6L)

2 I want a baby buffalo so I can love him, and feed him, and then eat him.

Posted by: Jeff at June 02, 2005 02:25 PM (ujYyI)

3 Well, this house for one. But if I have to go w ith something smaller... books, lots and lots of books.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at June 02, 2005 02:27 PM (Jgwqx)

4 I want another Kuvasz. I miss mine like nobody's business.

Posted by: RP at June 02, 2005 02:55 PM (LlPKh)

5 I would like a love ewe for my boss, a visit from ouchy the clown for my ex and these three shirts. *** Links aren't work safe. ***

Posted by: phin at June 02, 2005 03:18 PM (Xvpen)

6 Boob Job. Need I say more.

Posted by: Tiffani at June 02, 2005 03:45 PM (KE4Gu)

7 Yes! More! We need detailed descriptions.

Posted by: Jim at June 02, 2005 03:57 PM (tyQ8y)

8 Plane tickets to invade YOUR territory. I've a feeling we'd need the rest for beer money. Mwheh.

Posted by: Margi at June 02, 2005 04:04 PM (nwEQH)

9 Cabana boy! Oh and probably a pool to go with the Cabana boy.

Posted by: Machelle at June 02, 2005 04:08 PM (ZAyoW)

10 Payoff my dental bill (see my blog for the most excruciating 13 days in hell .... and 6 visits to the dentist) .... and payoff my $1000 credit card bill (from son's second eye surgery). Both reasonable requests, eh?

Posted by: Denise at June 02, 2005 06:26 PM (JTlEe)

11 Jim, all i want is modest bottle of decent single malt scotch. Course, i'll need a glass to drink it from. I mean, that goes without saying. And a deck. I mean, short of a library, scotch is best supped on a deck, facing west over the Blue Ridge Mountains. Yeah, a deck. But you know, a deck isn't much good without the rest of the house, so Yeah, one of those too. Nothing fancy, mind, a two bedroom one bath on the side of a mountan. With some room for expansion, you know, for when i eventually let my bachellorhood slide some. Hmmm, oh God, kids, there'll be kids eventually. Some land for them to roam on, and stay out of Mommy and My's hair, you know, so we can get back to the babymaking (i can dream, can't i :-). So, yeah, might as well be the whole mountain (or at least the whole west facing side, you know, for the scotch drinkin', remember that). Yeah, a bottle of nice Scotch. And accoutrements. I'm a simple guy after all. :-D

Posted by: tommy at June 02, 2005 08:25 PM (OJ+GI)

12 I'll take $100 million thanks. Failing that I'm prepared to accept an interest in a beer factory.

Posted by: Simon at June 03, 2005 12:49 AM (UKqGy)

13 I want this Bianchi. So what if it's too large for me? How come no one wants his first-born male child? Just asking.

Posted by: Victor at June 03, 2005 07:19 AM (L3qPK)

14 a 10X12 foot cargo trailer. That way I can finally bring my still with me everywhere I go.

Posted by: Contagion at June 03, 2005 08:43 AM (Q5WxB)

15 A ton of equipment from Cisco (Firewall, routers, switches, racks), house wired for -48 volts, huge amounts of pc stuff (cd rack, backup equipment, rack servers, flat screens, printers) and an office setup that is fun to be sitting at and playing (like it should include a wine rack that is climate controlled, a 'server' to bring me whatever food/drink I want, an awesome sound system). Yep, I think that would be a wonderful gift.

Posted by: VW Bug at June 03, 2005 01:19 PM (V4mW3)

16 Oooos...didn't see the (absolutely reasonable) monetary limit. In that case, I'd like this plasma cutter and welding helmet (Stars and Stripes pattern, of course!). Can't have too many--or even just one--plasma cutter and welding helmet.

Posted by: Victor at June 03, 2005 01:47 PM (L3qPK)

17 Workboots and shorts for Machelle's cabana boy (Machelle's my blogdaughter, Father's day is coming up, & I'm trying to make sure I don't get a hand-painted fish-tie)

Posted by: Harvey at June 04, 2005 08:52 PM (ubhj8)

18 Ok, now that i asked for all the great stuff... what you can get me for $2k is a personal trainer for 3 months and my kids in school for 2 days a week. Thanks!

Posted by: vw bug at June 07, 2005 01:47 PM (t8+yq)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Apparently my behavior at work hasn't been up to par as of late (the past five years). I received a memo, via e-mail, of things I'm no longer allowed to do at work. I'm not sure if I should read too much into this, as it's probably my boss's idea of a joke. But he's serious it's going to be awfully dull around here.

The List:

• Leave open cans of potted meat or sardines in the boss's office; I was only offering him a mid-day snack.
• Set the "On Hold" Music to the Llama Song.
• Fill the boss's desk drawers with Styrofoam packing peanuts.
• Set the boss's computer up with a Barbie, Sponge Bob Square Pants, Fraggle Rock or Muppets Themes.

Posted by: phin at 02:11 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 337 words, total size 3 kb.

My girlfriend and I have the unwritten rule of three-

This is, simply put- A free pass to sleep with three pre-agreed upon famous people should we ever get the chance. ItÂ’s a nice little semi-harmless exercise- We get to hoot, whistle and drool unabashedly in front of each other when any of the five chosen ones appear on TV.
Yes, I did say five. (More on that in a minute..)

more...

Posted by: Rob P at 11:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 358 words, total size 2 kb.

I'm pretty used to getting a couple of comments a week on the original Pimp My Ride post. What's surprised me in the past week or so are comments asking me to pimp somebody's ride and these comments are actually on Pimp My Ride posts that ridicule people for asking me to pimp their rides.

How.Stupid.Are.These.People?

As they didn't follow the established form and they commented on different posts I'll follow their leads and give some freeform responses.

Name: mikime jackson

mtv please pimp my ride my sitter have a old jeep she got for collage in it got no radio, the handle to the were you put it in park and drive is broken off, the back seats are kinda dirty, the air dont work, and the platic windows keep comming off. the zippers are to rusty so they wont zip up. please please please pimp my ride zip code xxxxx galevston 7200 xxxxxx lane apt#xxxx

Mikime lives in 'galevston', which I believe is in Texas. If anybody from Texas is reading here, please go smack Mikime in the head. Thanks. more...

Posted by: Jim at 11:21 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 1001 words, total size 6 kb.

Jesus Mohamed was a streetie we encountered occasionally on our treks through Berkeley. Jesus Mohamed wore a natty robe and not much else and he SPOKE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. He was VERY CONCERNED about the environment and the fact that we young people DID NOT GIVE A RIP. He had MANY PLANS to save the world, if only the TEACHERS AND RICH PEOPLE would listen to him.

Why do I mention Jesus Mohamed here? Well, apparently he figured out how to use a computer because this nut who wants me to Pimp his Ride sounds exactly like him. The 'ride' in question is his wheelchair. Wouldn't it be freaky if this really was him? Maybe a few years ago he got hit by a car so he's in a wheelchair now. Maybe the kindly tree huggers out there in Berkeley took pity on the poor soul, brought him to the library and showed him how to use the computer so he could share his message with the world instead of just the Navy pukes on their way to dorm parties where they would steal away all of the hot co-eds from the hemp sandal guys.

In any case, I can't take the chance of being polite to this guy. As there's an outside chance that it's really Jesus Mohamed I have a tradition to uphold. His incredibly long and rambling messages are in the extended entry. Due to their length and general meaninglessness (is that a word? it should be) I've summarized for him:

From: Terral Green

PEOPLE CALL,ME THE THINKER,BECAUSE I,THINK A,LOT,,,,I AM,A,VET,THE,MILITARY,KIND NOT THE ANIMAL KIND I LOVE ANIMALS I HAVE THOUGHT OF 46 THINGS BUT THE RICH PEOPLE WONT LISTEN,TO ME I RUN THE SYSTEM I WORKED,TWO JOBS,BUT,AM,NOW DISABLED VET,I WANT TO BUILD A CASKET,OUT,OF,GARBAGE,SO OUR KIDS WILL BE HEALTHY,BIG CO LIKE JCPENNY AND USATODAY WON'T DO IT,,,,PIMP MY RIDE IT IS A WHEEL,CHAIR,THANKS,,,THE STORY IS I AM DISABLED I WAS HIT BY A DRUNK DRIVER AND DECAPITATED AND DIED IT WAS OUT OF BODY I MET GOD,PIMP MY WHEEL CHAIR,THANKS,,,,THE THINKER

To which there's really only one applicable response:

From: Xzibit

Subject: Home BOY! What you up to?

Jesus Mohamed, is dat you? I know it you, doggggg!! It's Smappy Mo-D here. You remember me, right? We used to hang out in the grounder park in Berkeley when the punks from the university tried to chase us down, remember? Used to pick lice outta each other's hair and shit? Good times, homey. Good times.

So what you up to now? You said you a Crip now? Man, I hang with the Bloods so I don't know if we can hook up if you know what I'm saying. Can't be having no Cripples on the show neither no how. We owned by AOL and they don't tolerate any of that handi-capable stuff. Prime beef only. Dongs and Hos, know what I'm saying? Can't be showing no ugliflesh on America's channel.

You still in contact with that bitch what wore the tank top and plastic flip-flops all the time? Man, she ran off wit my burrito once. I still wanna find that skank and show her what that burrito meant to me. Never should have married that ho, I tell you what.

Take care homey and don't be a stranger. With email I mean - don't you fuckin come within a state of me in the real world. I got a gat and a posse now. I'm just sayin.

Peace, out!
Xzibit

Is Terral Green really Jesus Mohammed? If not, will Jim be able to determine which of them is more insane? Stay tuned to find out! more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:12 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 1277 words, total size 7 kb.

Looks like some people think ol' Xzibit is a bit on the stupid side. I've received a slew of fake messages over the past couple days. You know what that means, right? Yup. Gloves are off.

The first idjit:

From: matthew ludescher

I HAVE SEEN THIS WONDERFUL PROGRAM AND WOULD LIKE
TO SEE IF I QUALIFY. I'M 44 AND I AM DYSLEXIC AND
THIS MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO FIND A GOOD JOB.
AS I CANNOT READ OR WRITE.
I'M A GOOD COMPUTER TECHNICIAN AND MY FRIEND
DARRELL SMITH IS HELPING ME WRITE THIS LETTER.
I HAVE A 1982 CHEVROLET VAN THAT NEEDS SOME PIMP
LOVE.
IF YOU CAN HELP ME, I WOULD BE BLESSED.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CARING SHOW.
YOU ARE TRULY GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD.
LOVE
MATT

Ah, yes. The dyslexic computer technician story. Haven't we all heard this before? Actually, after dealing with some customer service lines I can readily believe that the people manning them are illiterate. But this guy is a fake so he gets this: more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:03 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 1168 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Too funny! And be careful with the Kiwi midgets, Jim, they can be vindictive little buggers.

Posted by: Random Penseur at July 19, 2004 03:14 PM (LlPKh)

2 "Pimp My Special Needs Transportation Device" ... You are going straight to heck you know that right? And I think a blanket beverage warning is in order for all furture PMR posts... I'm gonna be cleaning that up for days

Posted by: Rob at July 20, 2004 01:28 AM (BWDMP)

3 Do you actually have a New Zealand readership?

Posted by: Simon at July 20, 2004 02:33 AM (UKqGy)

4 I don't know, Simon. Not a vocal one, to be sure. Do they even have the Internet there?

Posted by: Jim at July 20, 2004 05:23 AM (IOwam)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Wow! All this time and all this correspondence and I was spelling my own impersonated name incorrectly. Special thanks to Kimberly/sapphire for showing me the correct spelling. Speaking of Kimberly/sapphire, she's one of the two latest rocket scientists to mistake SBD for MTV:

From: Kimberly

Hello Its yah girl sapphire to xzibit and pimp my ride fellas. I have a very different case I live in Minnesota and I have major problem just read! I have very sweet brother his name is josiah, all he does is try to help me my family and his self. He has a two year old son in africa he never sees he could barely could send him money because he's always buried in bills and car troubles. Josiah has a 79 Benz but it's more like it's falling off the henges for instance, we got stranded on the hyway because she smoked until she choked. He's a twenty eight year old struggling college student, working a temp job tryna make ends into dollas, I just think he deserves a break with a special wish from me to the guys at mtvs pimp my ride.He would be so thankful and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart P.S. If mtv can't come out here I'm still MTV and Xzibit greatest fan holla!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew! No pressure for this one. She'll still be my greatest fan even if I don't pimp her bro's ride. That's good since there's precisely zero chance that I'll do so. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 856 words, total size 5 kb.

A couple of people have asked just what the hell this Pimp My Ride stuff is about so I shall endeavor to elucidate.

MTV has a show called Pimp My Ride where they take peoples' nasty old beater cars and Pimp them. That's where they fix all the garbage that's wrong with them, tune the engine to sound like an egg beater, drop them so low they can't take a residential speed bump and put enough chrome on them to blind Stevie Wonder (oops!).

Way back in December of 2003 I had a one sentence post that linked to a flash game that let you take a virtual car through a virtual pimpin experience. That post started being found by searches for "Pimp My Ride" (or rather "pimp my ride" as none of these retards uses their shift key). They left comments asking for me to pimp their cars. I tried replying that this site has absolutely nothing to do with the MTV show. That post and the comments allow absolutely no opportunity for any rational or even semi-intelligent person to confuse this site for the MTV site.

But they kept coming. After a half dozen or so of these simps had commented I decided to screw with them. So now when somebody comments there I send them emails to mess with them, pretending to be the host of the show. My general purpose is to amuse myself, my secondary goal is to get them to send me pictures of themselves holding signs about my website.

That original post has never been changed. The people commenting really are morons who need to be taken advantage of. You can see the whole shebang (in reverse chronological order) here.

Posted by: Jim at 08:40 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 299 words, total size 2 kb.

We got a bunch of new contacts that just got their premier emails today. They're pretty standard so have all recieved the basic first contact mail (with fine print disclaimer of course).

From: Magsz

Hmmm... Where do i start? With the truth> My ride is a big time Hooptie!!ha
I really enjoy watching the show and my friends and family are always making fun of my ride. The running joke is i should get my ride on your show or leave it on the street. ha ha ha I have a white 92 Nissan Pathfinder. Its pretty banged up in regards to the body and the insides could use some work BUT i love that i dont have a car note. This is too funny but here it goes... My door on the drivers side is falling off. The head light is broken and hanging off but i tape on it. My leather seats have holes and the middle thing you put stuff in is broken. It gets worst-etc etc... and yes its a little embarrassing> okay alot embarrassing.. My friends all have nice cars and they think i should get a new car because im expecting a child. I thought it would be fun to get my special hooptie pimped because she's been good to me... Peace and Love
Magalye

Mags sounds like she's got a sense of humor. I like that. Plus, she's expecting so she'll have that special glow. Send us a picture, Magalye! more...

Posted by: Jim at 03:40 PM | Comments (37) | Add Comment
Post contains 512 words, total size 3 kb.

1 "Cunstruction?" X

Posted by: Emma at July 02, 2004 08:02 PM (NOZuy)

2 Yeah, I had a double-take on that one too. Slightly worse spelling and these PG-13 entries could go straight to R.

Posted by: Jim at July 02, 2004 08:08 PM (bmLWy)

3 I just started watching the PimpMy Ride. And I think it's awsome. My ride could use some work on it . But this email is more for my soon to be father in law. His name is Les and lives in Purdon, Tx. Many years ago he lost his oldest son David who would now be 45 as of yesterday. David served in the Army for 5 yrs but before he was shipped out he bought his dad a 1949 chevy coupe 2 door for fathers day . He had been gone for 5 yrs and then shippped to Germany for 2 yrs. After finially getting to come home . His turned 22 the day he came home .They had a horse and David and Les and there other brothers were out riding there horse when the horse acted up . Les told one of the boys to get off of the horse . And well David got on and the horse threw him and put david in coma 3 days later he died.His father still has the car .A tree fell on it and its never been driven its all rusted out and if i could have a choice mine or his car to be pimped out i would choose his. This is the only thing he has to keep his son alive in him. So please pimp his ride. He deserves it.

Posted by: Pam at July 13, 2004 04:20 PM (PcgQk)

4 hi my name is Tony i was wondering how 2 get my ride pimped? its a 1991 chevy S10 ..its a real turd beleve me rust holes all over the bed side.. i would junk it but it runs realy good... i love it 2 much 2 junk...

Posted by: Tony at July 28, 2004 04:19 PM (aV76b)

5 mtv please pimp my ride my sitter have a old jeep she got for collage in it got no radio, the handle to the were you put it in park and drive is broken off, the back seats are kinda dirty, the air dont work, and the platic windows keep comming off. the zippers are to rusty so they wont zip up. please please please pimp my ride zip code 77551 galevston 7200 heards lane apt#1407 bay walk

Posted by: mikime jackson at August 03, 2004 02:29 PM (laDMn)

6 It's about time. I really want some assistance 3x's more than the next person. Pimp my ride??????!!!!!!!MTV! Please$$$$$$$. I have a black camry and it needs some pimpin. I consider my camry one of my true friends. My camry never let me down and always been there for me. I guess I want to return the favor, and get some true pimpin in my camry life. I feel bad about my CAMRY! I feel so bad about my camry, I dont even want to explain all the problems. I will tell you this, imagine a whore thats been thru alot with the wrong pimp. She has bad feet-wheels- Body out of shape-dents look worse than a race car. When you go in- wore out not what I expect. I just want some new Pimpin in my camry life!!!!! As a honest person I think wants I get the new Pi treatment I think, i would change the name to Ms Camry! Missing Valuable Treatment=MTV Help M e Pimp My Ride!!!!!!

Posted by: snowstorm at August 08, 2004 02:02 AM (Avg2w)

7 I really need my car pimped. I love it too much and I think its on its way to its deathbed. I have a 1993 Pontiac Grand AM Quad 4 HO, 100,000 miles that has had a ton of problems, especially a lot of brake problems that I just can't afford to fix (sometimes its hard to stop the car!!!!). The engine tends to stall out on hills and for some reason just started rattling while running idle. The transmission also shifts really hard and when it goes from park to drive, it sounds like the damn thing is just gonna fall out. The exterior is ok except the crappy paint job is starting to fall off. On the inside, the dashboard is cracked, rattles like crazy, and the seats are soooooo uncomfortable with someone who has a serious back problem like mine. Not in my budget to buy a new car, but this car has such potential to be like brand new, but i need the help!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MTV, PIMP MY RIDE!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: bigdogg7732 at August 08, 2004 09:46 AM (6GVmy)

8 I think pimp my ride is a great show i love it i think i need people like you to pimp my ride my daughter loves you guys she hates going around in my van so can you XZIBIT!!!!! PLEASE PIMP MY RIDE!!!!!!!!! i think me and my daughter desevers this because we have been in a horrific time and i want to make our lives better. We want to turn our lives around so i am starting by pimping my ride i have Ford Transit 190 SWB everything is wrong with it it just needs pimping. PLEASE PIMP US XZIBIT!!!!!!!!!! we will love for this to happen you can make our dream come true!!!! SO MTV, PIMP MY RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: jake clarke at August 13, 2004 03:04 PM (z29q5)

9 pimp my ride pleacs

Posted by: justin at September 03, 2004 11:56 AM (XolSB)

10 Dear MTV, I am writting in hopes of your help! I have a ride that desperatly needs attention. Actually it's my husbands car and he is currently deployed in Kuwait fighting for our countries freedom. I have to drive this "wanna be gadget mobile "(94 Ford probe). The roof leaks, the windows leak, the car stalls, and the muffler sounds like a diesel engine. I would like to surprise my husband when he returns home at the end of October with a BRAND NEW PIMPED RIDE. Please let me know if you will be able to assist me in this matter. Sincerely, Distraught wife Lenee' Henry

Posted by: Lenee Henry at September 03, 2004 11:17 PM (G1Fd1)

11 I AM WRITING IN FOR MY DAUGHTER. MY NAME IS LORRAINE DUJOUR I HAVE MULIPLE SCEROLSIS. MY DAUGHTER IS SUCH A HELP TO ME. SHE SHOPS AND CLEAN THE HOUSE ALSO HELPS TAKE CARE OF HER 8 YEAR OLD BROTHER. SHE HAS A CAR THAT NEEDS FIXING UP BADLY. I WOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD PIMP HER RIDE. THANK YOU LORRAINE DUJOUR

Posted by: lorraine dujour at September 08, 2004 08:21 PM (AaBEz)

12 can u pimp my ride

Posted by: kenny at September 21, 2004 01:07 PM (T3iWj)

13 I am writing on behalf of the students in the CBI class of Pittsburg. This is a special education class for adults, age 18 - 21 yrs of age. They found your web site on the computer and ask me to help them help me. My car is a 1989 dodge aries.The students think it is ugly, outdated and disgusting. I don't have a cd player, radio plays when it wants too which is rare. Doors get jammed, air condition not working, windows are hard to roll down. The color is white with peelin pain. They say it's just plain ugly. Interior could stand some work. How about a overhaul look on the front end? Maybe the back bumper too uh? Pretty please pimp her rideeeeeee - Jose, Reggie, and all of us.

Posted by: Augusta at September 23, 2004 12:50 PM (HWqSw)

14 hey just wondering how to contact you guys .

Posted by: shenna johnson at September 26, 2004 02:41 PM (HyYSO)

15 My rommate has a 79'oldsmoblie cutlass supreme that she loves so much. She calls the car old faintful but she needs work. Her door doesnt close right the seats are tearing apart, her back floor has holes under them, the side panel are broken dash broken steering column broken. The car is a good car but it has its problems. She lives in Arizona and this car has no a/c its rough when she has to go to her doctor appointment and she lokks like she was just jogging all the way there. Over the years she has had this car she try to fix it up but other things keeps breaking down and she is a old car too. Thats why please pimp her ride.Please Please pimp her ride. It would be her dream come true. She watches you show all the time.

Posted by: Priscilla Lugo at September 26, 2004 08:58 PM (vXkX/)

16 My rommate has a 79'oldsmoblie cutlass supreme that she loves so much. All she does is dream to see this car fix up the way she would like it to be.The car is a good car. But it need work done. Like her door is hanging down it wont close right it has no door handle.The dash is crack and broken so is the steering colum and her door panel are broken the floor toward the back seat has holes on both side the head liner is holding with pins. She calls her car old faithful and it really is. Also she lives in Arizona and drives this car that doesnt have any a/c. When she has a doctors appointment she looks like she just ran a mile. With her face red and sweating. Please Pimp her ride for her. She desrve its. So please pimp her ride. This would be her dream come true.`

Posted by: Priscilla at September 26, 2004 09:16 PM (vXkX/)

17 I need help. I'm not Ralph no more I'm Malcom X. I have a 63'old Dynamic88 that hade some work done to it and I rode it until it got a flat and engine problems. Now, it is sitting in the back of my house and it is rusting out and I want to be Malcom X again. Gotta have ya. Can you pimp me please. Love the show.

Posted by: Rapheal Robinson X at October 12, 2004 12:46 AM (CKvX/)

18 Well im a single parent of a beautiful 3 yr.old little girl.I've been a single parent trying to succeed, but is sometimes difficult because of my responsobility towards my daughter.I did graduate and will attend college in January,my daughter is already attending school .We recently got a 1986' bronco which let me tell you is horriable, but my daughter loves the truck and does'nt want to get ridd of it.I wish i could give my daughter more better things but unfortunatlly i cant offer more than what we have.I REALLY WISH THEY COULD READ THESE RESPONSE AND PIMP MY RIDE!It would be a dream come true for my daughter and I.

Posted by: Carolina Villegas at October 12, 2004 07:39 PM (XO5+E)

19 Well im a single parent of a beautiful 3 yr.old little girl.I've been a single parent trying to succeed, but is sometimes difficult because of my responsobility towards my daughter.I did graduate and will attend college in January,my daughter is already attending school .We recently got a 1986' bronco which let me tell you is horriable, but my daughter loves the truck and does'nt want to get ridd of it.I wish i could give my daughter more better things but unfortunatlly i cant offer more than what we have.I REALLY WISH THEY COULD READ THESE RESPONSE AND PIMP MY RIDE!It would be a dream come true for my daughter and I.

Posted by: msvillgs at October 12, 2004 07:41 PM (XO5+E)

20 I have a 72 Chevy Caprice Classic 2 Door with a 400 block,hard top,2 pipes.I need your help.I want to represent the east cost with the west cost flavor.I love what you do with those cars on pimp my ride.You will not make a bad investment.My car sat in my back yard for ten years.When TRICK DADDY came out with his video I knew what I wanted my car to look like but my car looks like TRICK OR TREAT people laugh but I still bang my music and give the thumbs up to those that incourage me to do something with the car.X MAN PLEASE help me pimp my ride.Trust me your boys will have fun with this BIG BODY 72 CHEVY CAPRICE AKA the green goblin

Posted by: Dale Fullwood at October 22, 2004 10:50 PM (CWijf)

21 My moms car is funny it putts up the hill in the morning. It has a dent in the side it needs a new paint job! My mom even said it would be cool to get her car pimped out

Posted by: Amanda at October 25, 2004 09:56 AM (tXgfr)

22 this is my husband car, he has a 65 ww, for 16 years, the engine is not working. He only use the car for couples days and the engine goes down. I want him to have his car work perfect because he deserved. The car is not in bad conditions but he can not used it. Can you fixed for him. The engine is not original, I believe is a 13b from rotor. Let me know what we can do for him. He has spend a lots of money trying to fixed but without any luck. Help, please

Posted by: maria l lopez at October 25, 2004 07:48 PM (1GYEC)

23 Dear X, Hi my name is Janika, I am 19 years old 5 foot 2 105lbs and I am from Berkeley CA. I have a 1985 4 door chevy thats about the same age as me. but I love it because it was given to me by my grandpa when I graduated from Berkeley High school in June 2003.My grandpa can't drive anymore due to his old age but it has helped me out so much and it's better then the bus but it needs help.If only it had more shine insted of rust .My car was'nt new when I got it but the only thing I really know about cars is where to put the gas and water. The pas. set is broken it's held up with a log. The back door needs tobe opened before you can open the front door too. On my side I have to leave the window down to open my door from the inside. The car was blue at first, but it has turned in rust and the hole inside is broken with no heat or music.When it rains I get all wet because the inte needs so much help. I would love you to come to my rescue and Pimp My Ride please!!!. Even thought I don't know anything about how to fix on cars I'm sure that you and the guys from West Cost would hook it up like the nice cars that I see on MTV come outthe shop every time.It's because everyone puts that special touch to make the cars go Bling down the street. I really want this because I will be starting school in the spring and I would love to be the only girl in Berkeley to have a Pimped Out Ride and also because I want to take my 87 year old grandpa for a ride in it when it's all clean and in better shape then when I got it. I think that would make him happy because with the same love that he gave the car to me, I will send my love right back by getting through college and I will have a better chance of making it back and forth everyday knowing that you Pimped my car for me and That is a true dream.Please come find me and my gramps in Berkeley we will be waiting for you so hope to see you at my door someday soon. O and If my grandpa answers the door he may not know who you are so you may have to grab a set and chat for a while for him to Understand the true meaning of A PIMPED OUT RIDE but I will let him know you will be comming I just hope he remembers.I am sure you will have a good time and also anytime you hear Berkeley you will think of us and how much you helped by doing this for me I will be ready in full body, mind, and car for this big step I will be taking for the next 4 years+ in college.Thank You sooooo much and I can't wait to meet you in person.

Posted by: janika fleeton at October 28, 2004 09:15 AM (jrNaG)

24 THIS CHANCE IS FOR MY DAD TO GET PIMP .HE WAS A SINGLE FATHER OF 4 TILL MY STEP MOM CAME IN THE PIC .HE HAS BEEN IN BAD HEALTH THE PAST YEAR AND I DONT KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO TRY TO PAY HIM BACK.WITCH IS TO PUT HIM ON YOUR LIST.I WORK HARD FOR MY FAMILY HERE IN VEGAS,HE LIVES IN CALI HE HAS A 63 CORVAIR . IT IS JUST THE BODY AND ENG THE CONV IS GONE.I KNOW YOU CAN HELP BACUASE YOU R THE X.

Posted by: BEN POWERS at October 30, 2004 03:58 PM (fLlQ8)

25 HEY THIS IS THE ST LOUIS SENDING OUT A PLEA TO COME AND PIMP A RIDE FOR SOMEONE WHO NOT ONLY DESIRES IT BUT IS ALSO LONG OVER DUE FOR IT. MY SON AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO COME AND PIMP MY 93 JEEP FOR THEIR POPS. WE BOUGHT THE JEEP ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO BECAUSE MY SON AND ME WERE IN A CARE ACCIDENT THAT TOTALED MY CAR AND WE COULD NOT AFFORD ANOTHER CAR NOTE AT THAT TIME. BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD ONE CAR BETWEEN THE TWO OF US THE JEEP GOT RAN INTO THE GROUND BUT IT DID GET US FROM POINT A TO POINT B WITH A FEW STALLS IN BETWEEN. IT IS NOT THE WORST LOOKING CAR BUT NOT VERY DEPENDABLE BECAUSE OF MINOR WORK THAT WE CAN NOT AFFORD BECAUSE ALEX(THEIR POPS) IS HOLDING DOWN ALL THE BILL TO ALLOW ME TO GO TO SCHOOL FULLTIME FOR MY TEACHING DEGREE. THE JEEP IS ALSO NOT THE BEST LOOKING THING IN APPEARANCE AND I AM SURE IT WOULD LOVE A LITTLE ATTENTION. WHEN WE WERE FINALLY ABLE TO AFFORD ANOTHER CAR EVENTHOUGH ALEX WANTED ANOTHER JEEP HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BEST THAT WE GET A CAR TO SUIT MY NEED FIRST MAKE AND DUE WITH THE JEEP. I NOT TRYING TO MAKE THIS ANOTHER SAD STORY I JUST WANT TO SEE IF YOU COULD GIVE A GOOD BROTHER A BREAK AND I FEEL THIS WOULD SHOW THAT GOOD THINGS DO COME TO GOOD PEOPLE SOME. EVENTHOUGH HE IS STRAPPED FOR CASH HE STILL FIND TIME TO COACH AND HELP MANY OF HIS PLAYER WITH SOME OF THE FEES, DUES AND OTHER THING FOR HIS TEAM INSTEAD OF USING THE MONEY FOR HIMSELF. I JUST WANT TO ASK IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF IN THE STL AND NEED TO PIMP A RIDE STOP HERE FIRST

Posted by: LOUVENIA at October 31, 2004 11:32 AM (ctEyJ)

26 What up X. Check it out. I have A 1991 Caprice Classic police car. It still has the cage in the back, spot lights, push bar, and numbers on top. the interior is pretty much destroyed from when the radio equipment was taken, Damaged door panels, tore up head liner, and the hard ass back seat... well it dosent even have that because it was a K9 unit. The clear coat is flaking off the hood and doors, the back doors open from the outside only. When I bought the car 2 years ago it only ran for 4 days. The tranny blew up. I am currently putting a new tranny into the car and I can barley afford that. I am trying to get it fuctional again so my girl friend can use it but she dosent like the cop car look of it. People tend to drive the speed limit or under when you get behind them. If you choose this ride to pimp you can do what ever the hell you want with it. I really dont have much to say about it because anything is an improvement, besides I think X crusing a cop car back to WCC would be funny as hell! Please MTV pimp my ride!

Posted by: Dan Evans at November 07, 2004 03:57 PM (EInr3)

27 Hi I am not Entering for myself, I would like to do this for my husband. We have 3 children so at times money is tight but we have alot of love and always try to do nice things for each other. My husband is currently serving in the navy and is doing his duty over in iraq, we miss him so much, it is a bad place to be. I try to sit and think of what i can do for him when he returns home that would make him feel that we thank him and so many others for what they do. He keeps saying that he wants to pimp his car, my 12 year lod son and him look in magizines and he and i both know that it would be hard for him to actully get this done. so if you can make a wish come true for a wife who loves her solider ( my husband) please pimp my husbands ride!!!!!!!

Posted by: Kasi at November 09, 2004 12:09 PM (Z1/4m)

28 im writing this note for my little brothers they are twins doing good in school they been threw alot with the death of my other brother and my mom being sick they are handling thing well i gave them a car cause it there last year in school its a ok ride it just need to be pimped in ways i dont think its fair that the west coast get all the love we watch x ever week it would be a dream come true to get a knock on the door from xzbit eastcoast love you to.

Posted by: antron batts at November 09, 2004 05:49 PM (CLUFM)

29 What's up? I am Vanessa Queen mother of four children. My oldest is a girl 3, my middle son is 2, my youngest children are 1 year of age. I am a single mother raising my babies by myself. My husband went crazy and I had to do it all by my lonesome. However I would like for you to pimp my ride because it is all I have for my kids. It is an 88'chevy astro van.It has oil leaks, the gas tank is messed up because of corrosion caused by salt in the roads in Minnessota ,the brake pipe is broken so my brakes from the back are gone, my windshield is cracked, the heater and air do not work,it is very dirty all over, and to top it all off about a month ago some lady crashed into me and messed up my sliding door.As you could tell my van needs alot of work. I could sit here and let you know my sad and hard life story but everyone has some bad expierence although this is not about my mishappens it is about having something secure for my kids. I just lost my job about a week ago can't pay my rent and I need some where I could have my family. Please if you hear my cry and you can help please feel free to help me pimp my childrens' ride. Sincerly, Vanessa Queen

Posted by: vanessa queen at November 16, 2004 12:35 PM (EDTRI)

30 DEAR X HI MY NAME IS PRISCILLA I HAVE 92 NISSAN STANZA THAT NEED'S SEARIOUS HELP I AM A 18 YEAR OLD SINGAL MOTHER RAISING MY BABY GIRL ON MY OWN IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO RIGHT THIS LETTER DOING TO THE SITUATIONS THAT I'M IN RIGHT KNOW .BY LIVING HOUSE TO HOUSE I REALY DO'NT KNOW IF MY CAR WILL LAST AS LONG AS I HOPE IT DOES I CANT EVEN AFFORD A OIL CHANGE. ESPEALY WITH MY HOOD I TRY TO AVOD THE FREE WAYS CAUSE BY MY HOOD IS BROKEN I HAVE TO TIE IT WITH A ROPE AND PLUSE MY WINDOWS CRACT AN ITS VERY DANGERIOUS ESPEALY FOR MY DAUTHTER BEING IN THE CAR AND WE DO NOT HAVE KNOW BACK SEAT EATHER WE REALY NEED YOUR HELP CAN U PLEASE HELP US PLEASE TO MAKE IT EASYIER FOR US TO GET AROUND IN .DOING BEACAUSE I WANT TO GET IN THE MUSIC INDUSTREY AND I NEED TRANSPERTATION TO DO THAT SENSE MOSTLY THERE ALL IN LA .TO MAKE A BETTER FUTURE FOR ME AND MY DAUTHER I REALY AM THANKFULL FOR U GUYS TO TAKE A MINITE OUT OF YOUR TIME TO READ THIS LETTER SINSEARLY PRISCILLA 9518589212

Posted by: PRISCILLA at November 19, 2004 07:35 PM (JhY8b)

31 DEAR X HI MY NAME IS PRISCILLA I HAVE 92 NISSAN STANZA THAT NEED'S SEARIOUS HELP I AM A 18 YEAR OLD SINGAL MOTHER RAISING MY BABY GIRL ON MY OWN IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO RIGHT THIS LETTER DOING TO THE SITUATIONS THAT I'M IN RIGHT KNOW .BY LIVING HOUSE TO HOUSE I REALY DO'NT KNOW IF MY CAR WILL LAST AS LONG AS I HOPE IT DOES I CANT EVEN AFFORD A OIL CHANGE. ESPEALY WITH MY HOOD I TRY TO AVOD THE FREE WAYS CAUSE BY MY HOOD IS BROKEN I HAVE TO TIE IT WITH A ROPE AND PLUSE MY WINDOWS CRACT AN ITS VERY DANGERIOUS ESPEALY FOR MY DAUTHTER BEING IN THE CAR AND WE DO NOT HAVE KNOW BACK SEAT EATHER WE REALY NEED YOUR HELP CAN U PLEASE HELP US PLEASE TO MAKE IT EASYIER FOR US TO GET AROUND IN .DOING BEACAUSE I WANT TO GET IN THE MUSIC INDUSTREY AND I NEED TRANSPERTATION TO DO THAT SENSE MOSTLY THERE ALL IN LA .TO MAKE A BETTER FUTURE FOR ME AND MY DAUTHER I REALY AM THANKFULL FOR U GUYS TO TAKE A MINITE OUT OF YOUR TIME TO READ THIS LETTER SINSEARLY PRISCILLA 9518589212

Posted by: PRISCILLA at November 19, 2004 07:35 PM (JhY8b)

32 my husbands father passed away in a tragic accident on July 25th 03' he has inherited a ford pickup that needs a lot of work done to it,he would like to re-do the whole thing the way him and his dad had talked about in the past but would never be able to do so due to lack of the o'l green stuff. If anybody would deserve this it would be my husband he has a big heart and has had a hell of a life. PLEASE!!!!!!! HELP HIM!! he watches your show faithfully and i know he's only dreaming that one day it was him.

Posted by: wendy anderson at November 20, 2004 10:17 PM (Rdoug)

33 hi i am a 20 year old and i am in desperit need of being pimped i drive a 1984 ford f150 whith holes in foor And doors the paint is seven differnt coolors and there are four differnt tires and rims the doors dont work thers no raido i have to help my sibblings and no one wants to ride whith me and i am trying to find a job but no one whants to hire some one just out of school and i want to weld so mtv please pimp my ride

Posted by: Jaremy Bax at November 22, 2004 10:10 PM (5+ewN)

34 Hey X I'm Michelle from Ohio. I am a 30 year old single mom. My son is 6 and we watch your show every week. We love it. I drive a 1998 black Chevy Cavalier no fancy extras. It is one step below a soccer mom's mini van. haha. I wouldn't need anything fancy just a paint job would thrill me to no end. The real paint color I have now is scratches and key marks. I'd just love a paint job and maybe a sun roof. Of course my son says it has to look like the "Fast and the Furious". Your show is awesome, we love you out here in Ohio but please MTV PIMP MY RIDE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Posted by: Michelle R at December 02, 2004 01:50 PM (5RuIK)

35 yo xibit my dad realy love your show and i thout you could pimp his ride .but the problem is that we are mexicans so my dad cant realy speak english so thats why i a 11yearold kid is wrighting this letter to you so x PLEAS PIMP MY RIDE!!!!!!!! THANKYOU BY JOSE SOTO DEC.10 2004

Posted by: jose SOTO at December 10, 2004 11:56 PM (A05Vm)

36 PLEASE PIMP MY RIDE X BECAUSE IT WILL BE A GREAT HONER TO ME AND TO MY DAD, THE TRUCK THAT HE HAS IS A FORD F150 1986 RED

Posted by: JOSE SOTO at December 11, 2004 12:04 AM (A05Vm)

37 Hey my name is stuart I am 20 years old, and I need you to pimp my ride! I have a 1986 Dodge Ram truck. my stereo doesn't work, my a/c don't even work!!!!!!! My slideing window is broke, I can't even get my truck above 45 miles per hour! My fender is bent. Please, please, please MTV pimp my ride!

Posted by: Stuart Fleck at December 12, 2004 09:01 PM (ilo8f)

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This hit is a bit different from the rest. Instead of asking me to pimp his ride, Charlie's looking for me to hire him as a ride pimper.

From: Charlie

Hey Guys,

IÂ’m an ordinary car stereo installer from the east coast, (NJ) who moved out to CA for the ultimate dream, to be a custom car stereo installer. I just got done watching youÂ’re show MTV Pimp My Ride and decided to drop you guys a line. What do I have do loose right? Well everyone knows that the west coast is where itÂ’s at when it comes to custom. IÂ’ve been worken at national retail chains doing the regular deck slams (Boring) when I was back on the east coast Circuit City I went from being an installer to a manager in three years and all that was just a mess of paperwork and got away from what I was striven for being a custom installer. I know you guys are plenty busy and may even not read this e-mail but I would love to apprentice with your company I do a little custom work here and there but my area of expertise is in wiring electronics and security. I currently live about 3 hrs. north of la but am willing to relocate. Even if you do not have any openings but could drop be a line or two about the LA area and where if any is custom apprentice work may be needed in CA . Well thanks a lot for taken the time out of youÂ’re busy day to read this e-mail.
I look forward to hearing from you soon Charlie

Now seeing as I'm due to be unemployed in a bit under a month I'm not willing to bank up on bad employment mojo at the moment. So instead of leading this fellow on I'll just go straight for the photo request. more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 566 words, total size 3 kb.

Melissa's been getting worried. I've been so involved in real life that Xibit hasn't had a chance to answer her back and she's been sending mails like there's no tomorrow. Now remember that the last thing we sent her was a mail saying that she needed to send me a picture with people, the car to be pimped and a sign saying "High on SBD". I lost the first two from her during the great mail deletion of 2004. They were pretty unremarkable and both contained a picture of the car without people holding the requisite sign. But she turned it around on the 25th with two identical emails:

From: davidirizarry72@someplace.net

subject: im real

this is me melissa i;m us my brother computer because mine is missed up so here is the picture u whated

The picture that I whated...er...wanted was attached and it was indeed the holy grail of this whole Pimpin' Punk'd theme. A picture of her adorable daughter (and her mens) holding a "High on SBD" sign!

Woo hoo! I rock so much I should require a permit and a variance for the noise ordinances! more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:57 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 731 words, total size 4 kb.

Or should that be "wimmin"? I guess it should really be "woman" seeing as there's only one.

Got a reply back from Melissa with a photo.

From: Melissa

sorry about that so here is a picture of me its old but still me

Go ahead and click that link up there. She's posing with a cute teddy. Here's Xibit's answer:

u lookin fine, baby. F-I-N-E. fine.

i gots all yo shots togetha an u made the cut on friday. u headin toards a pimp ride fo sure!

we gots one problem tho. unfortunately we been having some fools signin up from anonymous mail hosts (like hotmail). seems people like to just send shit in to us and they tryin to punk us. shit aint even real and shit. now i believe youse real but that donÂ’t fly wit the whole crew (and the dam blood suckin lawyas).

so anyway, me and funk mastah flex worked out a way to make sure people was real. heres what you need to do so we knows you is real. take a picture of you and you mens car. now that donÂ’t tell us that u real. what tell us u real is you need to be holdin a sign that say something specific that we didnÂ’t tell nobody else to use. yo sign needs to be:

“High on SBD”

that donÂ’t mean drugs, yo. sbd the hydraulic lifts we use wit ground effects.

the person in the pic can be u, yo boy or your kids (cause they so cute – the kids are cute that is, not yo boy. he good looking but Xibit doan float that drection). just reply to this mail with that pic and we get you set straight baby.

keep on watchin Pimp My Ride, baby!

Xibit

Also got a new hit from "Kyle" and sent him standard photo request #1 (modified not to ask for a bikini shot). And of course everybody's got the disclaimer too.

So, will I ever get a picture with an SBD sign?

Posted by: Jim at 03:48 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 348 words, total size 2 kb.

From: cheryl

I would love to have a new car, but unfortunately I cannot afford one, but if you can pimp my escort, I would be forever grateful!!
Give a girl from Arkansas a break and pimp my ride.

and

From: Ashley

I would love it if you would put my brother Johnathon Norris on your show because he always says i wanna pimp my ride.

Thank You
Ashley Norris

The mail I'm sending both is fantastically similar, differing only in the details that they've provided. I've decided to go for specific graphical targets. The pictures I'm getting now are useless and it's too much work to keep building up the scam waiting for these brain challenged folk to figure out that this is fake. Instead of that, I want a collection of pictures of people holding up Snooze Button Dreams signs. Now is that a noble goal or what? more...

Posted by: Jim at 01:43 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 389 words, total size 2 kb.

Melissa wrote back too. Dey jess caint get enuff o this ride pimpin, yo!!

From: Melissa

it taking me a little longer because i can't send u a picture of my mens ride it's not working i'll keep on trying

She would have gotten back to me sooner but she's having some email problems. Damn those Hotmail addresses! She sent me two very large pictures (over 900 KB each). This wouldn't have been too bad except she sent one of them six times. Damn, girl! Lay off my inbox! But in Melissa's defense, I did already determine that she's clueless and I instructed her to send pictures. It doesn't take the Oracle to figure out that this is a recipe for disaster. more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:11 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 820 words, total size 6 kb.

Heathony wrote back again. I think I scared the little guy a bit.

From: Heath

Hey Xibit its my dad (anthony) just that im usein my friends heath e-mail address cause i don't have one k dogg srry for da confusin but ill try gather some hunnies up n send em to ya k

peace out

Now hold on a second here. His dad is Anthony and his friend is Heath. So who the hell is he? I guess he'll remain Heathony for now. What's up with using a friend's Hotmail addy? Did they start charging for these things and nobody told me? Ah, screw it. I'm having fun here. more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:04 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 612 words, total size 3 kb.

Due to popular demand I present Heathony's dad!

What do we know about this fella? Well girls we can be reasonably sure that he's employed. These photos were taken behind Radio Shack and he's wearing a Radio Shack shirt! Either he works there or Heathony got Pops entered into a shirt giveaway at the Shack.

We know that Heathony is very fond of him. That's cool and says good things about his character.

We know that Heathony isn't the brightest bulb in the chandelier. That doesn't necessarily reflect on Karate Man himself but you know the old saying about fruit not falling far from the tree and all. Take it under advisement.

He was in the Air Force and that really doesn't tell us a whole lot except he couldn't get into the Navy and that he is very, very lazy.

Ha! I kid. I'm such a kidder. So he's a veteran and that's also very cool.

He has a lot of tattoos. This could indicate gang affiliation or show a predisposition for hepatitis or Aids. Then again he's a veteran so there's every chance in the world that he was never off on a drunken bender getting inked. We'd give mad props for the tats themselves but we can't really see any good looking ones. We'll reserve judgment on this one.

He's a kick boxer and looks to be in pretty decent shape. A bit of the Steven Seagal paunch showing up but otherwise quite solid looking.

From that last picture we see that he keeps his truck very tidy. A clean truck is a sign of an orderly mind (or a disturbed one). Speaking of the truck, he's driving and maintaining a 20 year old vehicle so we know he's frugal (or cheap). Okay, this one's a wash too.

One thing we know for sure is that Karate Man wants you. Yes, you. And he's going to get you too because he is indeed Karate Man. Just look into his eyes. Oh yea, baby. Oh yeah.

Posted by: Jim at 01:24 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 352 words, total size 3 kb.

I got an answer back from Anthony. If you're confused about what I'm talking about, click on the category link just above and read the previous entry.

From: Heath

Thax alot Xibit I appreciate for all the that man. Well here are some pics of me and my pops and his beater. My dad is a funny guy and hes a kick bower, he start when he was in the Air Force he was in Tae Kwon Doe is an awesome pop.

Peace Out Bro

XIBIT ur awesome man

Note the name change. Anthony on the comment forms, Heath in the email. I deal with that in my reply to him. He sent four pictures of him and his dad and one beat to hell early 80's Chevy Scottsdale pickup. Now since I can see from the pictures that he's a kid and there's no hotties in there anyway I'm not going to put up the pics he sent*. In fact I was just going to forget about this ruse since he's a teenager and there's not exactly a huge amount of challenge in messing with a teen's brain...until he did it again. more...

Posted by: Jim at 09:52 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 738 words, total size 4 kb.

1 You have to figure out how to include your incredile ethnic slang abilities on your resume! It's not right that you can write like that...

Posted by: Clancy at June 14, 2004 10:36 AM (EGVPL)

2 I'd like to get a glimpse of Karate Pop....my virtual playgirl calender needs updating!

Posted by: Susie at June 14, 2004 12:09 PM (H6K2w)

3 Fish in barrel, meet Jim. This is classic.

Posted by: LeeAnn at June 15, 2004 09:06 PM (HxCeX)

4 Xibit, u are the greatest thing that has ever happened to nature, I am now finally crazy about you . Go on my big bro! i love you! please pimp me my body soul and spirit!!!

Posted by: oluyede olufemi at November 21, 2004 11:27 AM (Xdq4B)

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