From: cheryl

I would love to have a new car, but unfortunately I cannot afford one, but if you can pimp my escort, I would be forever grateful!!
Give a girl from Arkansas a break and pimp my ride.

and

From: Ashley

I would love it if you would put my brother Johnathon Norris on your show because he always says i wanna pimp my ride.

Thank You
Ashley Norris

The mail I'm sending both is fantastically similar, differing only in the details that they've provided. I've decided to go for specific graphical targets. The pictures I'm getting now are useless and it's too much work to keep building up the scam waiting for these brain challenged folk to figure out that this is fake. Instead of that, I want a collection of pictures of people holding up Snooze Button Dreams signs. Now is that a noble goal or what? Here's the basic mail I'm going to use for the first timers now:

Yo Ashley!

Got yo note on pimpin yo brotherÂ’s ride. Unfortunately we been having some problem wit people signin up from anonymous mail hosts (like Hotmail). Seems people like to just send shit in to us and they tryin to punk us. Shit aint even real and shit. Me and Funk Mastah Flex worked out a way to make sure people was real.

Heres what you need to do so we knows you is real. Take a picture of you and the car you want pimped. Now that donÂ’t tell us that u real. What tell us u real is you need to be holdin a sign that say something specific that we didnÂ’t tell nobody else to use. Yo sign needs to be:

“High on SBD”

And no, that donÂ’t mean drugs. They hydraulic lifts we use wit the ground effects.

Just reply to this mail with that pic and we get you set straight baby. Bonus points if u in a bikini.

Thanks fo watchin Pimp My Ride, baby. Keep it real, yo!

Xibit

Of course I'm still including the updated disclaimer that (if anybody actually read it) would absolutely expose the fact that I am not mailing from the Pimp My Ride show.

Posted by: Jim at 01:43 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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