November 28, 2003
Be Careful Out There
Can you tell the difference between a
Female and a Shemale?
I got 11 of 16 right. Makes me glad I'm married already. It's dangerous out there!
(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)
Posted by: Jim at
09:37 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.
1
I rated as "weirdo" - 13/16 - that was tuff!!
Posted by: Clancy at November 28, 2003 10:18 AM (EGVPL)
2
13/16 for me too.
I still vote for moondoggie.
Posted by: at November 28, 2003 11:16 AM (ciTVa)
3
I had 11/16.
Then again many people go wrong...the other day at the club an old,wierd looking lady said to her friend (looking at me)"is that a man in womens clothing here in the ladies room?".Of course I had to ask my friend A right away if she would like to see my **** and do "it" with me in the stall.
Some people!So my hair has to grow back now and I hate it!!!
Posted by: LW at November 28, 2003 12:02 PM (fkewd)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
November 26, 2003
Are you a sex addict?
Thanks to the
Sexual Recovery Institute you can find out in the
safety privacy of your own home. Separate tests for
guys and
gals.
Phew! I made it just under the wire!
(Hat tip to Lovely Wife)
Posted by: Jim at
10:13 AM
| Comments (4)
| Add Comment
Post contains 47 words, total size 1 kb.
1
Looks like I need some help.Oh well,don't we all?
Posted by: LW at November 26, 2003 10:27 AM (fkewd)
2
I think I'll take a look at this when I'm not on company time..
Posted by: pylorns at November 26, 2003 12:13 PM (AhTDr)
3
Don't worry my Lovely Wife, I'll be happy to help you work through those. >;-)
Pylorns - It's pretty work safe. Professional site. No graphics. They don't even use naughty words.
Posted by: Jim at November 26, 2003 12:19 PM (IOwam)
4
Somehow I knew I would get this answer......
Posted by: LW at November 26, 2003 12:22 PM (fkewd)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
Why should I switch to Apple?
Oh, I see.
(Link credit to Dopple-G)
Posted by: Jim at
08:59 AM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.
November 24, 2003
Severe Frost Warning
So, we're under a
Severe Frost Warning tonight.
Severe frost? Do they mean that it is an unusually serious and ill tempered frost? How does frost get bad enough to be called
Severe? Are we going to open the paper tomorrow and read reports of
8 Confirmed Dead as Atlanta Struggles Against Severe Frost? It's frost! Not snow, hail or even freezing rain. Frost! Get over it!
And what classification comes after Severe? You know there has to be one. I mean, given the vagaries of weather there is eventually going to be a frost that makes this Severe Frost look kind and playful by comparison. Would it then be a Catastrophically Rude Frost? Perhaps it will be an Unbearably Frosty Frost? God forbid they call it an X-treme Frost.
It boggles the mind.
Posted by: Jim at
01:51 PM
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 140 words, total size 1 kb.
1
Well,there is actually ICE on our van and the dog didn't want to go further then the curb for a pee.While I "enjoyed" my smokie in the freezing cold he sat on the doormat.Back inside he crawled straight back under our covers!
Posted by: LW at November 25, 2003 07:29 AM (fkewd)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
The Short End of the Stick
What's up with that? I don't know what kind of sticks there are in other necks of the woods but around these parts our sticks are pretty much the same length on either end. I mean, no matter which end you're grabbing, isn't it the same distance to the middle?
Posted by: Jim at
11:13 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.
1
You got it a little mixed up. The saying comes from an old Yiddish saying: "The short end of the schtick", which is the first and faster part of a 2 part comedy act, usually involving farce. So getting the short end of the schtick usually meant being not as funny or as interesting as the long end of the schtick.
Posted by: Simon at November 25, 2003 03:31 AM (GWTmv)
2
Oh, Simon. How can you even look in the mirror after a pun like that?
The shame, the shame...
Posted by: Jim at November 25, 2003 04:05 AM (fkewd)
3
Schtick is what I do.
I blame my father. I've got issues.
Posted by: Simon at November 25, 2003 09:58 PM (UKqGy)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
Download the internet?
Click
here to begin download. Give it a minute or so, it's a lot of data.
(Link kudos to Dopple-G)
Posted by: Jim at
09:44 AM
| Comments (5)
| Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.
1
thats not bad.. i've got broadband.
Posted by: pylorns at November 24, 2003 10:48 AM (AhTDr)
2
DUDE that one is SOOOOOOOO OLD!
:-P
Posted by: LW at November 24, 2003 10:58 AM (fkewd)
3
"Dude"? You can't call me "Dude" out here in public. Try "Stud Muffin" or "My Orgasmic Champion". It's all about the reputation. ;-)
Posted by: Jim at November 24, 2003 11:11 AM (IOwam)
4
How about DREAM ON buddy?:-X
Posted by: LW at November 24, 2003 11:22 AM (fkewd)
5
My Orgasmic Champion! That's the best pet name I have EVER heard!
Whew-I gotta' use that one on...well...someone. Maybe I should ask for volunteers. Grumble, grumble...
Posted by: Helen at November 24, 2003 01:26 PM (4tEWI)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
November 20, 2003
What is with the Honda Element?
How in the world does a car
like this get built? Did the design team meet and decide that the criteria would be:
- Too small to use as an SUV. No, make that too small to use as a vehicle pretty much period.
- As absolutely dangerous as possible. (Yeah, we can combine a high center of gravity with plastic sidewalls! Yeah, yeah! We'll call them "dent resistant" or something. Sweet!)
- Uglier than an Aztec.
It's like the unholy offspring of a Mini Cooper and a Suzuki Samurai.
Posted by: Jim at
06:48 AM
| Comments (2)
| Add Comment
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.
1
Agreed. Ugly ass car. And it is uglier than the "asstec"
Posted by: pylorns at November 20, 2003 04:57 PM (06ggV)
2
Ugly? Yes. Uglier than the Asstec....not ready to go that far.
Posted by: TB StLouis at November 21, 2003 03:36 AM (AFvBY)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
November 19, 2003
In the tradition of Calvin...
Piss on 'em, Helen.
more...
Posted by: Jim at
08:29 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.
1
Sorry my graphics skills are so piss poor (pun intended).
Posted by: Jim at November 19, 2003 08:33 AM (IOwam)
Posted by: Helen at November 19, 2003 08:52 AM (4tEWI)
3
You go, Luuk. I'll do the same, but I'm not going to post it.
Posted by: Simon at November 19, 2003 09:01 PM (FUPxT)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
November 08, 2003
Let's piss off the womenfolk
Ladies, you know how when you're out at a popular club and you have to go to the bathroom and you've been waiting in line to get into the damned ladies' room for a half an hour and it hasn't really moved and you've seen about a hundred and fifty guys go in and out of the men's room?
Hahahaha.
more...
Posted by: Jim at
08:45 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.
1
Or, alternate B, which is a route I often use:
B) Use the men's room.
Smile, wash your hands as you exit.
Easy stuff. And, at least in Europe, nothing to be arrested over
Posted by: Helen at November 09, 2003 01:55 AM (tdh2z)
2
Exactly my point. And being able to walk into the men's room and up to a urinal or trough is invaluable knowledge.
Posted by: Jim at November 09, 2003 09:29 AM (fkewd)
3
They were at Madfish Willie's and some of them went around back in the ally behind the dumpster to cop a squat. Sounds like they need to have potty parity enforced upon them by Big Brother asswipes!
Posted by: The Bartender at November 13, 2003 09:55 AM (nLjq4)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
November 07, 2003
Peeing in the sink
Women are better equipped for this than men because their butts stop the backsplash.
Posted by: Jim at
04:06 AM
| Comments (4)
| Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.
1
well you can always get back a ways and shoot the stream from a distance... but then you run the risk of splattering the mirror.. which if its not yours then it doesnt matter...
Posted by: pylorns at November 07, 2003 10:47 AM (zn1zt)
2
Sadly, however, many of us are too short to reach the sink with our tush unless we hop up and actually sit on the edge. At best, the chance of falling in makes you tense up and then... no pee. At worst, the sink is one of those cheapo attached-to-the-wall-with-old-chewing-gum types like they have at... oh, say the stadium, and it comes crashing off the wall in a flood of broken pipes and there you are with your thong around your ankles trying to run away and pull up your jeans at the same time and what the hell are you looking at, lady?
Or so I've been told.
Posted by: LeeAnn at November 07, 2003 01:24 PM (HxCeX)
3
Don't know about sinks, but here's a handy technique when the ladies' room line is around the corner and up the stairs:
http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html
Posted by: Lida B at November 07, 2003 05:44 PM (RzGd8)
4
I've found it best to just shoot straight down the drain hole. As long as you hit the sides of the pipe before the water level in the bend, it won't splash back. Plus, it is a great way to practice your control so that your snow-writing skills can improve even during the off-season.
Posted by: Cpt.Dysentery at November 09, 2003 04:53 PM (Rr/GV)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
34kb generated in CPU 0.1296, elapsed 0.1652 seconds.
93 queries taking 0.1413 seconds, 229 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
