If you put Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton in the same room, could the resultant energy surge be used to power the Enterprise's warp coil?

Posted by: Jim at 02:58 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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The really big chunks rise to the top.

(Hat tip to Dopple-G)

Posted by: Jim at 08:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Curbs add texture to driving.

Posted by: Jim at 08:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Good news for the home team but this can only be seen as a blow for upstart challengers.

Posted by: Jim at 05:43 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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From the list of "Things About Atlanta" sent to me by my Lovely Wife. This one is particularly apropos at the moment:

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads, vehicles, houses - everything - is yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies, you will die. But other than that, it's a great place to live!

No joke. The current level is a nice low 396, thanks to some rain yesterday. Yes, we breath a sigh of relief when the pollen count gets down to only 3 times the extremely high marker. A couple of days ago the pollen count was over 5,000. You probably won't actually die from it but many people wish they would. I have personally seen people fight over an Alavert.

Posted by: Jim at 02:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Shouldn't they be called "War Protesters"? They're protesting against war, aren't they? Or are they called peace protesters because they're not in favor of peace at all. Judging by the pictures I've seen of every single one of these protests over the last year and change, I'm going with that as my answer.

Posted by: Jim at 05:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I was messing around on the computer last night and never bothered to get up to turn the TV off. As a result I had The Reality Channel Fox hitting me subliminally for a good chunk of the evening. Let me summarize what I got out of it:

1) Persons who have not yet achieved the legal age to run for President of the USA should not, i repeat NOT try to cover Elton John songs.

2) When a show defies description by normal man you can find it aptly and succinctly summarized by Bunsen.

Posted by: Jim at 05:07 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Just in case you were wondering.

Posted by: Jim at 02:58 PM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
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1 *Looks down shirt* Mine aren't. You know, just in case you were wondering. ;-)

Posted by: Tiffany at April 06, 2004 03:00 PM (rDyup)

2 Okay. If I didn't "know" you better then I'd have to say that between this post and the last one, you seem like a man auditioning for the Amish himself. Or like Jim just being Jim, I guess. On behalf of the group, thanks for sharing!

Posted by: ilyka at April 06, 2004 03:02 PM (mCgp5)

3 ohhh baby!

Posted by: Tiffani at April 06, 2004 03:22 PM (xpNFK)

4 Tiffany - I was! Ilyka - I'm not. I stopped hanging around that neighborhood a while back. Lair just wasn't posting enough bread and pepper stories for my tastes. Granted he's brought the cat posts up to acceptable levels lately but what good are cats without bread and spicy butter?

Posted by: Jim at April 06, 2004 03:25 PM (IOwam)

5 What are you smoking today, Peacock? I've been following the gardening stories as though they were my own baby plants. I tell you, I am jealous of Houstoners for one reason and one reason only: things grow like a weed in the night there. Then I remember that humidity wrecks hell with my complexion, and I'm over it. You know what always prevents me trying to make Laurence's Shiner Bock cheddar bread?--My boyfriend thinks there's nothing sadder in the world than a flat beer, so every time I leave one out opened in the fridge, he trashes it. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you needed that for anything. I thought you just opened one and forgot." Yeah. Me forget an opened beer. Christ. I love him, but sometimes he ain't too bright.

Posted by: ilyka at April 06, 2004 04:15 PM (mCgp5)

6 Your boyfriend is right. There is nothing sadder in the world than a flat beer. I'm getting all teary-eyed just thinking about leaving a wounded Shiner Boch to die. That's just...just...oh, the horror! I mean Good Samaritan laws alone should prevent such an action! That said, there's nothing better than Sierra Nevada Porter as a steak or burger baste. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Posted by: Jim at April 06, 2004 04:25 PM (IOwam)

7 Oooh. I think I just had a mini-gasm there.

Posted by: Emma at April 06, 2004 06:15 PM (kpNlZ)

8 Seven, no make this eight posts, just coz your nipples are hard. Man, I've gotta re-assess my blogging.

Posted by: Simon at April 06, 2004 08:27 PM (OyeEA)

9 Emma - for my nipples or my Sierra Nevada Porter basted steaks? Well either way I end up a winner. Hehe. Simon - insightful analysis is wonderful but true commentary always devolves to nipples. It just saves time if you start right there at the bottom.

Posted by: Jim at April 06, 2004 08:33 PM (saeHM)

10 Simon has a point. The only posts that ever get comments on my blog are the very dumbest ones. I think I put everyone to sleep when I aim higher than dumb. That's probably what it is.

Posted by: ilyka at April 06, 2004 10:10 PM (5nbe5)

11 But WHY are/were your nipples hard?!

Posted by: Jennifer at April 06, 2004 10:17 PM (HKMhS)

12 Ilkyka - Lowest Common Denominator. It's a universal constant. Jen - Because the Mega Cube (tm) is on the side of the building where the air outlets are. I have ice cold air blown down my shirt until the other side of the building (about 100 feet away) gets to temperature. I get roasted for hours on end during the winter and frozen like a popsicle in the summer. I wear a jacket in the summer and shorts in the winter. We complain about it a lot and that makes us feel better.

Posted by: Jim at April 06, 2004 10:39 PM (saeHM)

13 I don't think I'm comfortable talking about turgid body parts with you just yet, Jim.

Posted by: Trey Givens at April 06, 2004 11:48 PM (y+iSM)

14 Jim Darling -- Both. Mwheh. (P.S. Thanks for the Dolphin M&M sacrifice. Anything that may help. . .) Ilyka -- I would comment on your "A" posts, but it would be mumbled incoherence followed by a very Dean-esque "Yeearrrgh!" I really am intelligent, but. . .awww screw it. Sometimes I ain't that bright. Now, if we want to talk about Scooby Doo 2, I'm your girl. (Well, not really, cuz I haven't seen it, but I think you're getting my point.)

Posted by: Emma at April 06, 2004 11:51 PM (kpNlZ)

15 Turgid. What a great word. Tumescent. =)

Posted by: Emma at April 06, 2004 11:54 PM (kpNlZ)

16 Torpid. I'm not even sure I know what it means, but it begins with 'T' and I like it.

Posted by: ilyka at April 07, 2004 12:00 AM (5nbe5)

17 Holy shit, it's like the definition of me: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=torpid Unbelievable.

Posted by: ilyka at April 07, 2004 12:01 AM (5nbe5)

18 Damn the torpids. Full speed ahead.

Posted by: triticale at April 07, 2004 12:45 AM (3Vwa4)

19 It's me. (adj 1: slow and apathetic; "she was fat and inert"; ) *sob*

Posted by: Emma at April 07, 2004 01:45 AM (kpNlZ)

20 Hah! Not hardly, Emma. I've seen pictures. Besides, it doesn't mean fat anyway. I think turgescent fits best.

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2004 05:51 AM (saeHM)

21 21 comments now! This just proves how shallow the blogosphere is. Or how interesting your breasts are. I really hope it's the former.

Posted by: Simon at April 07, 2004 06:37 AM (GWTmv)

22 Oh, it's not my breasts. Nobody likes man-boobs. It's specifically my nipples.

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2004 08:19 AM (IOwam)

23 Why are Jim's nipples shallow? I am sure that his aereolular (I made that up) erections are quite profound. And if they aren't, I think I got an email today that will add like three inches to them. I can forward it over to interested parties.

Posted by: Trey Givens at April 07, 2004 09:25 PM (R0TDF)

24 Trey, you're looking for areolar. And you're quite right. My areolar tumescence is truly breathtaking.

Posted by: Jim at April 07, 2004 09:47 PM (saeHM)

25 Since I'm going to be President I have to get some good practice in for my neologismizing.

Posted by: Trey Givens at April 07, 2004 10:18 PM (DNtfr)

26 It's all my fault. I seemed to have poured gasoline and a lit match on this shallow line of spewing . Yay me!

Posted by: Tiffany at April 07, 2004 11:55 PM (rDyup)

27 Yay, Tiffany! I love a good conflagrationisticaler pyro!

Posted by: Trey Givens at April 08, 2004 08:59 AM (Fo1B/)

28 Trey, you already sound just like the President.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 08, 2004 11:27 AM (DdBLw)

29 Just trawling seeing what else I can steal. Don't mind me. ;-) I think now I've stumbled on the Frank J army I've now gotta worry about him and you. D'oh!

Posted by: Simon at April 08, 2004 10:59 PM (AOdQo)

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If you are a holy man and you need a private army to protect you from other holy men of your own religion do you think that maybe, just maybe, you are not actually following a religion of peace?

Posted by: Jim at 11:07 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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