If your sentence begins with any of the following, please consider whether there is an actual need to relate the information you are about to divulge:

Don't freak out or anything but...
I probably shouldn't say anything but...
Don't get the wrong idea but...

In fact, if the "but..." conditional is anywhere in the opening sentence of your anecdote you may want to rethink the necessity of speaking whatever is on your mind.

And if you should decide that your personal world will stop unless you divulge your mental gem please, please, please verify that there is nobody within earshot who shouldn't, mustn't or doesn't want to hear what you are about to relate.

Especially if that person is me.

And you are talking about bodily functions gone awry.

Thanks,
Jim

Posted by: Jim at 09:58 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 135 words, total size 1 kb.

It just came to me in a flash. Mars Attacks is just a remake of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. I'm too stunned to comment adequately. It's like a piece of my youth has been used as a mung rag, peed on and then "taken" in the biblical sense.

I go now to cry softly in a corner.

Posted by: Jim at 08:23 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 62 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'll probably regret this, but what is a mung rag?

Posted by: diamond dave at December 10, 2004 09:14 PM (yFpR7)

2 Ooh! That's a great points question. 3 points to the first person to identify what a mung rag is. Margi will snap this one up when she sees it so y'all need to be fast.

Posted by: Jim at December 10, 2004 11:30 PM (GCA5m)

3 Knew I'd regret this... The rag (or sock, or tissue) used to clean up after you whack off (yurk). Also apparently once defined as the rag used to clean up spilled booze in a pub or bar. Had to Google for this, so no points for me... No fair offering points for my question!

Posted by: diamond dave at December 11, 2004 09:06 AM (3v247)

4 I've never heard of the whacking variety. Basically it's a beer rag. It has certain connotations of drunken revelry though. You'd find mung rags at a frat party, a busy bar, a festive celebration, etc. The bar at TGI Fridays wouldn't qualify to hold a mung rag.

Posted by: Jim at December 11, 2004 11:05 AM (GCA5m)

5 I'll bet you drink mat pours, too, don't you Jim o' My Heart? DAmnit! I'm sorry I missed this one. You DO still love me, right?

Posted by: Margi at December 12, 2004 06:13 PM (rKX9f)

6 Sure do, Margi. From toes to nose. That's the answer to the second question. I refuse to answer the first one on the grounds that it may incriminate me. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at December 13, 2004 05:13 AM (GCA5m)

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Elevator sign:
"Out of order - Men at work".
I press the button.
The screams, they are horrific.
I guess I'll walk down the stairs.

A "tanka", for those of you unfamiliar with the beast, is a poetic form similar to but older than the haiku. It has five lines of 5,7,5,7 and 7 syllables. Feel free to try some for yourself.

Nope, not back yet. Another Trickle post for your entertainment. See how much I love y'all? It's not everybody who'd go to these lengths to keep y'all amused, you know.

Posted by: Jim at 11:55 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 96 words, total size 1 kb.