Tidbits of life in 9 minute increments.

February 25, 2005

Fun with elevators

Next time you're on an elevator, instead of staring up at the floor level indicator, turn around and stare at the back of the elevator. This works better if there are other people on the elevator.

(This does have the inherent problem of you not knowing when you get to your floor but a clever elevatrix can turn that into an adventure in itself.)

Posted by: Jim at 01:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 70 words, total size 1 kb.

Quotes to remember

"Separate but equal" applies to only two things in this world - earrings and breasts.

Be the first person to name the quotee and win 3 points!

Posted by: Jim at 01:10 PM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

February 24, 2005

I am in love

The rubber band machinegun.

I would comment further but I can't see the screen well through my tears.

(Hat tip to Randall)

Posted by: Jim at 08:46 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

February 14, 2005

Serious question

Say you've just loaded up the family to go pick up lunch/dinner*. Momma is in her fuzzy slippers, 2 out of 3 kids are in pajamas with only one of them wearing shoes. Dad is wearing the white sweat pants that must never be seen in public.

Would that be indicative of white trashitude or redneckosity?

Not much happening around here today. Morning writing time was taken up with three stories of maddening school atrocities over at Zero Intelligence. Speaking of ZI, it's been getting some serious attention lately. In the last few weeks I've been interviewed by two newspapers, contacted by a scholastic watchdog group and the site will be profiled on an independent law review radio show next week.

Sweet.

There are some leftovers here you can play with, since I've got nothing new at the moment. The caption contest is still open as is the drag queen cat fight. Enjoy!

* Breakfast/lunch is brunch. What is lunch/dinner? Linner? Dunch? Lovely Wife prefers dunch. I'm undecided.

Posted by: Jim at 10:42 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 172 words, total size 1 kb.

February 09, 2005

Everybody give me a dollar!

PayPal button is over there on the right. Get cracking!

(I'm practicing my 'command voice'. It seems to be losing effectiveness at home.)

Posted by: Jim at 03:27 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

1 You want that in pennies or in nickels? Because I'd much prefer the sanctity and pleasure of sending real letters in the mail. And mail items that jingle are oh-so-fun.

Posted by: Tiffany at February 09, 2005 05:23 PM (R2wme)

2 Okey, fine :p

Posted by: Jeremy C. Wright at February 09, 2005 07:55 PM (LxmkC)

3 Woo hoo! It's working. I feel my mojo returning. Tiffany - Definitely nickels. They kick butt. They're so substantial, way more impressive even than dimes. And the smooth rim ... well, we don't have to go there.

Posted by: Jim at February 09, 2005 10:22 PM (MDLz3)

4 If you had a change slot somehwere on this blog I'd be dropping quarters in like crazy. Put up a Google ad and I'll click away like a mad man.

Posted by: 8ZERO8 at February 10, 2005 12:53 AM (cxdq0)

5 Hey, how many "points" will you give me per dollar? I wanna win, baby!

Posted by: 8zero8 at February 10, 2005 01:09 AM (cxdq0)

6 Hmmm...points for money... That would make me feel just like a politician. I'll do it! But we'll add a little caveat so as not to corrupt the funosity of the point contest. Maximum of one point through the purchase program.

Posted by: Jim at February 10, 2005 05:19 AM (MDLz3)

7 *testing effectivemness of command voice* Why?

Posted by: Rob at February 10, 2005 07:22 AM (kXZI6)

8 Rob - For some unknown reason the effect of the command voice on the spawn is decreasing at a frightening rate. I cannot imagine the horror if the voice stops working completely.

Posted by: Jim at February 10, 2005 09:19 AM (tyQ8y)

9 Points for money? I'm totally in. Is this going to be a bidding war? You know me and points....I came in third last year. Right now I'm waaay behind. I need to get caught up. Can I start the bid?????

Posted by: Tiffani at February 10, 2005 09:27 AM (KE4Gu)

10 You need to use the Jedi Mind Trick and *whohaw* the cash will roll in.

Posted by: Paladin at February 10, 2005 10:52 AM (Rfqkp)

11 I'm really not a point whore, but I'll pay money for points. ... So maybe I am a point whore. Damn. Just so you know, it wasn't really any good for me that way...

Posted by: Clancy at February 10, 2005 01:04 PM (JxYJc)

12 Actually, Clancy, I think you'd be a point John. As I am the "provider" and you're the purchaser the whore would be me. Sweet. Tiffani - I can't risk starting an escalation in the points market. We all know what happens when the MAN (in this case, me) places arbitrary restrictions and modifications on a free market system. We'll keep it at the token point for a buck level. Hey, I just realized something. People now have the opportunity to buy their way onto my sidebar. I really am a whore!

Posted by: Jim at February 10, 2005 02:54 PM (tyQ8y)

13 why?

Posted by: Rob at February 11, 2005 12:11 PM (kXZI6)

14 As they get older they begin to exibit these signs of 'independence'. They do not wish to turn the GameBoy off. It might take two or three applications of the Command Voice before the GameBoy is in fact turned off. I blame the hippies.

Posted by: Jim at February 11, 2005 12:15 PM (tyQ8y)

15 Clancy, Jeremy and Harvey have taken advantage of the unintended point buying extravaganza. I'll get those on the sidebar presently. We'll cut off the offer at this point because I'm lazier than I am greedy.

Posted by: Jim at February 16, 2005 07:13 AM (MDLz3)

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February 08, 2005

I'm pithing all over!

Sorry, not going anywhere with that. It just had to be said.

Blame Margi.

Posted by: Jim at 03:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

February 05, 2005

Why are pets better than kids?

When they get pregnant you can sell the offspring.

Posted by: Jim at 10:28 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

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