The boys are allowed to watch TV before they go to bed. The objective here is some quiet relaxation time so we're not pouring wired up kids into their beds with instructions to fall asleep. The caveat is that their selection is pretty limited. Channels like Discovery, Animal Planet and The History Channel are allowed. Their favorite channels (Nick, Cartoon Network) are not. The nighttime programming on those two is simply not acceptable for little kids.

Sometimes it works well, other times not quite. Lately they've been using quiet relaxation time for ninja fights and trampoline contests on the bed. When the noise level creeps up to levels noticeable to the fascist regulators (that's us) the TV goes off and they are put straight to bed. This has been happening with greater frequency of late so is high in our minds as bedtime approaches.

The other night as the boys are cleaning up their rooms in preparation for turning in, Lovely Wife and I were in our room making our bed. Bear walked in with a request.

Bear: Can we please watch Nick tonight?

Me: I'm sure that you can. The question is if you may.

[Yeah, I'm one of those jerks with the can/may thing.]

Bear: MAY we please watch Nick tonight?

Lovely Wife: You know you guys can't watch that at night.

Bear: But we behave much better when we watch Nick.

Me: You behave much better when you watch Nick... What is this? Blackmail? "If you let us watch Nick we'll behave." Is that where this is going? We will not negotiate with terrorists!!

[Bear looks at me with utter confusion. Lovely Wife ignores my tangent and handles the actual issue.]

Lovely Wife: You can't watch Nick at night. We don't like you watching the things on Teen Nick.

Bear: But it's not Teen Nick right now! It's Spongebob!

After verifying that it was indeed Spongebob on Nick and it would continue to be for some time we acquiesced to the request. We added specific instructions that if Teen Nick started before bedtime that it was to be turned off immediately. We thought that was the end of the issue but little did we know that little ears had overheard at least part of our conversation.

Bear had left our bedroom, satisfied with his successful negotiation. Lovely Wife and I were stuffing pillows into pillow cases. Suddenly there was a roar behind us and Burger jumped into the bedroom with his Power Rangers sheet draped over himself like the world's oldest ghost costume. Power Rangers ghost costume, that is.

Burger: I'm Blackmoth! Raaaar!

[Lovely Wife and I look at each other, break out laughing.]

Lovely Wife: You're who?

Burger: I'm Blackmoth! Raaaar!

Lovely Wife: Do you mean "blackmail"?

Burger: Yeah! I'm Blackmoth! I'm the Terriblest!

With a final "Raaaar!" he leapt out of our room, returning no doubt to his villainous lair to plot further attacks.

Beware, my friends. Beware of Blackmoth the Terriblest!

Posted by: Jim at 10:21 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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