(Snagged from Electric Wildebeast)

Posted by: Jim at 08:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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After being MIA (or should that be AWOL) for a week, the gang at Wetwired has returned. Seems that the problem was in the registration (as surmised by Rob).

Welcome back Pylorns, fnliii, Robin, et al!

Posted by: Jim at 08:01 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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How much of the pricetag on that bottle of Jack Daniels is going to the taxman? In New York it's over $6. In Alaska it's almost $13.00. Other states are anywhere from a buck to several bucks. Then there are the states (18 of them) where the government completely controls all sales and profits from alcoholic spirits.

How about that pack of Marlboros? How much of that price is added by the state? If you're in New Jersey, more than $2.00 is going to the government. Yeah, the State can impose a 100% user cost penalty on these consumers and nobody says "Boo".

And why is that? How can the government get away with such phenomenal taxation schemes? Well, it's obvious, isn't it? These are immoral items. Only immoral people are being forced to pay extra taxes. Plus, they aren't healthy. Consumption of these items leads to deteriorating health conditions and that creates a burden on society. So if we make the consumers pay up front then the State won't have to foot the bill later on. more...

Posted by: Jim at 03:16 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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A smaller button for those who have size issues with the first one.

Posted by: Jim at 01:11 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Size issues? Heh.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 24, 2004 02:52 PM (DdBLw)

2 Yeah, I should have thought of that earlier. People are often intimidated by my size.

Posted by: Jim at March 24, 2004 02:54 PM (IOwam)

3 I'm happy with the big one, thanks.

Posted by: Susie at March 25, 2004 12:26 AM (9PzdO)

4 Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!

Posted by: Jim at March 25, 2004 05:39 AM (saeHM)

5 Ahh that's much better, now all I have to do is find room for it?

Posted by: Rob at March 25, 2004 06:40 AM (kXZI6)

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Jen will be getting her 40,000th visitor sometime today. Could it be you?

More importantly, she has scientifically proven that Snickers kick Milky Way ass.

She's going to be repeating the experiment with Cadbury Creme Eggs vs. Cadbury Caramel Eggs but that's a waste of time. Everybody knows that Cadbury Creme Eggs are the quintessential Easter treat. They didn't spend millions of dollars genetically engineering a rabbit that clucks for nothing, y'know.

Posted by: Jim at 10:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I am a Neutral Good Elf Ranger Bard! (Way too much information in the extended entry.)

What D&D character are you?

Posted by: Jim at 09:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Every parent thinks their kid is special. Well, unless the kid has to wear a helmet or something. In that case they think their kid is special, meaning retarded. What I'm talking about is pre-politically correct special, as in actually special.

Yesterday I was helping the Bear fill out his Murphy Journal. Damn, need background here. Murphy is a mouse (stuffed) that goes home with the kids of Bear's class on the weekends. One kid per weekend, that is. The kid who's hosted Murphy takes pictures of the rodent and writes about the things that Murphy did in their Murphy Journal. Seeing as these are pre-schoolers they're obviously not actually writing the stuff in the journal - they dictate to us secretaries parents. So anyway...

Yesterday I was helping the Bear fill out his Murphy Journal. Crap, need a bit more background. Bear learned lower case letters in preschool and also how to sign his name. They haven't learned any upper case letters in school but he's picked them up all by himself through a combination of observation and questioning us. The point is, I already knew that he knew his printed alphabet in both cases. So...

Yesterday I was helping the Bear fill out his Murphy Journal. As intimated above this means I was writing in the journal as he dictated to me. (Hah! Bet you half thought I was going for more background in this paragraph, didn't you? Joke's on you 'cause the story's on, Baby!) Lovely Wife had done the previous entry and that was in script. Being the toady follower type person that I am I was also writing in script. After a rather longish bit of dictation Bear looked over my arm at what i was writing, rather in the stern aspect of a strict and micromanaging employer. He began reciting the letters as I wrote them down.

He knows letters in script. We did not teach him letters in script. His school most certainly did not teach him letters in script. I don't think he's picked this up from SpongeBob or the Power Rangers either.

Is my boy precocious? How will I ever know, seeing as my proximity in affection and location makes me a hopelessly compromised judge?

And more importantly, if he is a child genius, do my genes kick ass or what?

Posted by: Jim at 01:37 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Just came across this book excerpt. This looks frighteningly accurate, doesn't it?

Islam and the Palestinian Problem

Published by: Dar al-Salam, Cairo, Egypt
Year Published: 2001
The author: Dr. Abdallah Nasih Alwan

No other nation in ancient and modern times has carried the banner of fraud, evil and treachery as has the Arab nation. No other human race throughout history or from anywhere in the world has acted in such a cruel and corrupt manner and provoked such conflicts between nations as has the Arab race. (pp. 23-24)

... [in] their [the Arabs'] machinations in present times, at the beginning of the 14th century after hijrah [the "Prophet's" journey from Mecca to Madinah], the Arabs (may Yahweh's curse rest upon them) have been using devious ways of conspiracy and deceit in order to achieve their aspirations and carry out their plans of establishing their rule over the world, and take control of the world's core powers. They are targeting three main objectives:

1. The first objective: spreading dissent among the nations


2. The second objective: corrupting the faiths of the nations


3. The third objective: founding the State of Palestine, with Israel as its center, and stretching from the Euphrates to the Nile. (p. 36).

Isn't that amazing, coming from an Egyptian publisher and by an anti-Israel radical? Well, I have one little confession. I altered the excerpt according to The Radical Islamic Cypher of Truth ™. It's really pretty easy. Take anything written by any Murder Bombing supporter and switch "Jew" for "Arab" and vice versa and "Yahweh" for "Allah" and vice versa. You will transform tripe to truth faster than Jesus changed water to wine.

Pretty cool, eh?

POINTS: Where does the title of this post come from? 3 points to the first person to tell me. No searching, y'all!

Posted by: Jim at 11:53 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Y'all thought that Easter was about how Jesus died for our sins, didn't ya? Well, with Bill Cimino around we're going to need a new sacrifice soon. The evidence:

Bad people killed Jesus who is the son of God. Don't ask me why. It's a long story. And don't ask me why God didn't save his own son because I don't know that either. Ask God. But don't expect an answer any time soon. He's not real talkative. Now shut up and listen. So Jesus is dead and they throw him into a cave. Three days later he rises from the dead. As a bunny. Yes, he has long ears and a fuzzy tail. And a beard. Then he ascends to heaven in a ballon type thing made out of a basket and marshmellow chicken rabbits which is where peeps come from. That's also where Easter baskets come from. And today, once a year, Easter bunny Jesus travels the Earth in his Peep Balloon leaving candy and Caramel-filled Eggs and stinky, colored, hard-boiled eggs for all the good little girls and boys. And he hands out leg of lamb to all the adults. That's where "lamb of God" comes from. Now go to sleep or you'll make Easter bunny Jesus angry.

(Hat tip to Jen, Queen of Historica)

Posted by: Jim at 11:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I am constantly and consistently astounded by the open hatred that forms the wellspring of peace rallies. These fuck-knobs scream about the USA being a dictatorship while marching in open protest. How fucked in the head do you have to be before you get it into your skull that those two are mutually exclusive? Try protesting in the peacenik's favorite land of Palestine. "Gay's for Palestine"? That's a fucking joke and a half. Homosexuality is a crime punishable by death there and these cretins support terrorists blowing up babies in the name of eliminating the only democratic country in the Middle East?

The king of the jackasses for this latest travesty is the bastard that Laurence posted on this morning. You sir have earned the title of Flaming Ass. Wear it until your untimely timely death.

(First seen at Kelley's, then at Michele's and finally decided to post on it when I saw it at Jen's)

Posted by: Jim at 04:01 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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A little sidebar button for us Tactlessly Correct blogs:

Posted by: Jim at 03:17 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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As you can likely tell by the title to this post, it is Tactlessly Correct essay time. The subject of today's conversation is profanity and the misperception that camouflaging profanity allows us to discuss it in a non-profane manner.

Take the title for example. When you read it you did not interpret it as F!Bomb you, you fcuking f*ck!. You interpreted it as Fuck you, you fucking fuck! That is of course what my intent was. So what did I accomplish by obscuring the actual words? Well, I made it a bit clunky for the reader. It adds another level of forced interpretation so it takes a short bit longer to read. If the reader is not familiar with F!Bomb then I've added a confusing element where the message will not be understood until yet another level of interpretation is completed.

Look, language is all about interpretation. If i say F-word what I mean is fuck and what you understand is fuck so why would I say F-word at all? Because it's more polite? Whatever we're discussing it has something to do with fucking so it's not going to be targetted towards delicate sensibilities, right? more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:38 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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...since we moved to Georgia, are our kids going to grow up to be whitetrash or rednecks? And then Bear will say something like what he said at dinner last night:

"When I get bigger I'm going to be a daddy. I'm going to be in charge. Cordelia will do what I tell her because she likes me and she's going to marry me."

And I realize that the answer is of course "rednecks". more...

Posted by: Jim at 12:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Tulips on your organ.

Posted by: Jim at 12:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The 16th Bestofme Symphony is up at Practical Penumbra. Our superfine ultrasexy uberfeminine hostess Susie has a wonderful theme for this edition, featuring my first two girlfriends (Nell and Natasha). Head on over for a wonderful Monday read.

Hosting: Would you like to host the Symphony? Send me a note and I'll get you on the schedule. It's way easier than you think it is. I mean - hey, Susie did it, right?

Submit to the Symphony: Want to be a part of next week's edition? Check out this post for submission help. Entries should always be sent to bestofme@jpeacock.net regardless of who the Symphony host is.

Spread the word: Webloggers, please give Suzie a hand by spreading the word. Remember what Confucious said: A little linky love today will come back to you twofold tomorrow, and not in the cornhole either.

Email Reminders: If you'd like to be sent a reminder about the Symphony, join the mailing list. There's one email sent on Thursday or Friday to remind you to submit for the next Symphony and one on Monday with the location of the newly posted Symphony.

Posted by: Jim at 05:54 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Not to quibble, Jim--ok, yes, I am quibbling--I prefer to be the Hostess....

Posted by: Susie at March 22, 2004 08:14 AM (foeQj)

2 Ah, crap. I always mess up at least one thing when I recycle and update posts. I've corrected that unconcionable error and attempted to make amends as best i can through abject flattery.

Posted by: Jim at March 22, 2004 08:18 AM (IOwam)

3 Oooohhh--nice save!!!!

Posted by: Susie at March 22, 2004 08:22 AM (foeQj)

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Anybody know what happened to Wetwired? I wasn't worried when the newsreader feed failed the other day. That happens some times. When it was offline for a second day I tried to hit the actual site and it was offline. I figured a DNS problem or something like that. Well today is more than too many days offline even for a collosal DNS fubar so I email Pylorns to see what's up. The mail server couldn't be resolved at wetwired.org.

So what's up with Wetwired? Pylorns? Robin? Anybody?

Posted by: Jim at 10:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Looking at the Whois record, the domain was recently updated... Domain Name:WETWIRED.ORG Created On:03-Mar-2000 15:53:26 UTC Last Updated On:19-Mar-2004 17:23:33 UTC Expiration Date:03-Mar-2005 15:53:26 UTC It might be that the domain went to inactive status and is awaiting reactivation (a bit like what happened to my site when I forgot to pay for the renewal!)

Posted by: Rob at March 22, 2004 05:26 AM (kXZI6)

2 Dammit! He's two months late with Blogosphere Survivor! Don returns, you betcha.

Posted by: Victor at March 23, 2004 01:04 PM (L3qPK)

3 holy crap... i searched google for listings of wetwired and found this.

Posted by: pylorns at May 24, 2004 04:03 PM (FTYER)

4 whoa.... we're still here...

Posted by: magik at June 18, 2004 12:24 PM (AY/dB)

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Send in your submissions for the Bestofme Symphony and help bring a smile to a little girl's face. Not that the one leads to the other, I'm saying you should do both.

Send your submissions to bestofme@jpeacock.net and they'll be in Monday's edition at Practical Penumbra.

The only requirements are that you think the post is good and that it be at least 2 months old. It doesn't even have to be from your own blog! Can it get any easier? I don't think so!

The basics of the Bestofme Symphony.
Want to host a Symphony?
Get reminder emails.

Posted by: Jim at 10:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Yeti another penguin as a missile game. This time it's the vertical hammer throw and damn, it's still fun as hell.

Top score of 402.66 for me. Oh, yeah. Who's yo' daddy?

(Snagged from Rob)

Posted by: Jim at 03:59 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Update: Results are in the extended entry.

Want to know what it's about? See the Shamming/Sharing intro post.

Is this anecdote a sham or a share?

At one time I was living with 3 girls. No, it was not all panty dances and blow jobs. Sad to say there were no panty dances or blow jobs at all. From my housemates that is - I was doing fine in that department from other sources. Damn, where was I going with this? I'm sure I had a point here...oh, yeah - background info. All three gals were friends from work. I had previously enjoyed one of them on occasion until we figured that we worked a lot better just as friends. When we all decided to get a place together we made a partially joking rule that there wouldn't be any intra-roomie shennanigans unless it was all four of us at the same time.

Now, on to the story: The Road Trip. At the time I was dating a girl who made up with exuberance what she might have lacked in brainpower. We ended up on a road trip with one of my roomies and her boyfriend. We drove down to roomie's parents' house in Pittsburg to go see a Steelers/Bengals game. No, I don't remember why I'd bother to go on a road trip to see either of those teams, much less both of them together. Must have been the promise of beer and companionship. The plan was to drive down on Saturday, sleep overnight, see the game on Sunday then drive back to Buffalo.

Roomie's parents were under the mistaken impression that she was a gal of demure behavior so three separate sleeping areas were made up in the den for me, my gal and her guy and she was (of course) going to sleep in her bed. After several hours of drinking Iron City Beer we all decided to hit the hay. My gal and I stuck our couches together and made quite a nice little nest. Roomie and her guy piled a bunch of sleeping bags and blankets on them to disguise themselves as well as possible and we all "went to sleep". Unfortunately for me my girl actually did pass out, leaving me a tad frustrated. From the sounds on the other side of the room that wasn't a problem for my compatriots.

Between my own frustration and the rather arousing noises from my neighbors things were quickly working up to a difficult point for me. I crept to the bathroom to take matters in my own hand (is that the worst pun you've ever encountered or what?). I was in there with the lights out doing my business when the door suddenly opened and the light came on. There was my roomie, nude and flushed. There I was, crank in hand and redfaced. There was just a few moments (hours?) of stunned silence until she smiled and then I smiled and she giggled and I laughed. She said "Don't be embarassed. I just finished myself and came in to clean up a bit." Turns out her guy passed out just as fast as my girl did and the noises I had been hearing were a solo performance.

We were both a little tipsy and both horny as hell and it was quite difficult not to let old habits take over at that point. We ended up in the shower and did a bit of wash me wash you but she left before anybody (meaning me) lost control and I finished things up by myself. It was one of those situations that would have made a great Letter to Penthouse if it had gone just a little differently but she made the right move - neither one of us would have been happy about it the next day if we'd cheated on our partners.

Current Standings:

Three Correct
jim

Two Correct
Mike the Marine
mitzi
MojoMark
Sue

One Correct
Brian Jones
Helen
Jeremy
Mutinousdoug
Rob
Simon
Susie
Tiffani

Zero Correct
Everybody else more...

Posted by: Jim at 02:51 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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Collect the whole set!

Posted by: Jim at 11:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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