The Scene: Lovely Wife is in the supermarket with the spawn children. They spy an unnecessary but not out of bounds pricewise item that they covet.

Bear: Momma, can we get that unnecessary but not out of bounds pricewise item that I covet?

Lovely Wife: No, Bear. I don't have the money for it right now.

Bear: You can use your card! Lovely Wife: There's not enough money on the card.

[Editor's note: We use a debit card, not a credit card. The kids don't grasp that it's a substitute for cash, they know only what they see on TV - that any ol' piece of plastic is a bountiful bottomless well of purchasing power.]

Bear: Please! I said 'please'.

Lovely Wife: No, sweetie. I just don't have the budget for it right now. Maybe when the tax return comes in.

Bear: Why don't you go to one of those places where you walk in with your W-2 and they give you a check then?

[Editor's note: How did he get that off of Nickelodeon and Toon Disney?]

Lovely Wife: We already filed our taxes and we'll get our money back in a couple of weeks. Besides, those places take some of the money and we don't want that, do we?

Bear: [sulkily] No...but I really want it!

Lovely Wife: Maybe we can get it when Daddy get's his next paycheck. That's only a week from now. Does that sound better?

Bear: [brightening] We can bring in a pay stub and get money now as an advance on the next paycheck!

[Editor's note: Okay, that's it. Replays of Nemo only from this point on.]

Lovely Wife: That sort of place takes a lot of the money from the paycheck. We'd never use something like that unless there was a big emergency.

Bear: [even more sulkily] It's not fair. I've been really good!

Lovely Wife: We just don't have the money for it right now. Do you think money grows on trees or something?

Bear: Doesn't it?

Lovely Wife: No, you have to go to a job and work for it.

Bear: You don't work, and you have money!

[Editor's note: Ouch!!]

Lovely Wife: My job is taking care of you. [sotto vocce:] And I think I'm about ready to demand a raise.

Bacon: Momma! Can I get that unnecessary but not out of bounds pricewise item that I covet?

Begin Round Two

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