Let me preface this by saying that I love werewolf movies. Dopple-G hates them - they absolutely terrify him, and not in a good way. I freaking love them. I love werewolf mythology too. Canines are my favorite pet and wolves are by far my favorite wild animal. It's important that you know this background as it could color my review.

Let me also say that my very own chocolate lab just tried to kill me. I was walking to the computer to type this, beer in my hand. The evil creature intercepted me in the dining room, cutting directly across my path. I skillfully adjusted my beer to prevent foulage and stepped off to my right foot. Just past the point of no return the crafty beast turned in between my legs and to the right, neatly turning my ankle and sending me to the floor. I'm happy to report that I managed to throw my left knee out far enough that I could piston my beer hand and prevent bottle corruption and massive beer loss. Not that it matters a lot seeing as that particular carpet is getting cleaned tomorrow but it's the effort that counts.

And yes, my ankle hurts like a mother. It's important that you know this as it could color my review.

Dog Soldiers was a good movie. I mean good overall, not just as a horror movie. The acting was actually really good all around with the exception of that loser who played Captain Ryan the Special Forces jackass.

As far as horror movies go it was pretty standard. I didn't actually get scared at all during the movie but that's pretty much the way of things since Alfred Hitchcock died.

It did well for the spook-at-shadows afterward score. I thought it was going to be a non-register there as I'll normally get a crawly feeling while taking a piss with my back to the closed shower and I didn't get that at all from this movie. However, I just walked the dogs and when we got to the dark part of the street (my house is the ONLY house on my street with a street light) and Kota turned towards the woods and stopped dead and growled deep in her throat I nearly shit myself. Wait a second...lemme check here...yeah, that spooked the shit right out of me.

I recommend this movie for anybody who likes a "last man standing" pick-em-off-style movie, werewolves, general monster, armed conflict, small engagement army or general spooky popcorn movie.

My only major beef (excuse the pun - you'll see what I mean in a second) was a scene in the beginning of the film when the platoon of soldiers is at their campsite and a dead cow gets thrown on their campfire. They seem reassured and business as usual when they discover that the cow died of a natural attack (teeth and claws). Cows that die of natural causes do not generally launch themselves into your campfire. The entire troop should have freaked at this point because unless they missed a cherry picker or catapult in close proximity to the camp there's no realistic human way to hurl a cow into a campfire.

Except for that and the loser actor playing Cpt.Ryan a standard suspension of disbelief should pull you through this one.

Addendum. Sgt.Wells had all of the best lines in this movie and there were a bunch. Top three (all by Wells) were:

I am not breaking radio silence just cos' you lot got spooked by a dead flying fucking cow. (Part of the stupid cow scene described above.)

If we do happen to make contact, I expect nothing less than gratuitous violence from the lot of ya. (Gratuitous violence quotes are my favorite.)

We are now up against live, hostile targets. So, if Little Red Riding Hood should show up with a bazooka and a bad attitude, I expect you to chin the bitch. (I've always despised Little Red.)

Posted by: Jim at 01:47 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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