Damn, do I smell good today. I'm not talking just a little good. I mean I smell freaking good. I am seriously afraid to go near any of my female coworkers for fear that they might not be able to control their baser instincts and I can't afford any more torn clothing.

Yeah, that's how good I smell.

I think a little background is in order. Two things I'll never compromise on are toilet paper and my bath bar. I want a TP that is strong and soft and can quickly and efficiently scrape the shit from by butt crack but do it with the softness of a newly slaughtered baby bunny rabbit. My bath bar must leave my skin in a non-dry state and have me not smelling like a flower or a chemical. This morning my toilet paper did its usual effective job, leaving my dark crevasse in pristine condition. My bath bar, which normally merely cleanses and refreshes me, has uncharacteristically turned me into an olfactory delight. You see, I normally use Dove soap but today I used something quite different. Today I used Opium For Men.

The beautiful, talented and exceptionally naughty Anna (of Primal Purge fame) sent the Lovely Wife and I some handmade Creekside Soaps. The first thing that I noticed was the smell. Damn, do they smell good. I was tempted to nosh a bit on the Oatmeal, Milk & Honey bar. The second thing I noticed was that it was going to be hard to actually use them. They look like little works of art.

You might have realized at this point that I do not have a lot of experience with high end bath products.

Anyway, I opened the Opium this morning and used it for shampoo and soap (they're multi-purpose). I skipped the conditioner so I could see what just the Creekside does for the hair. It's four and a half hours post-shower and it's looking like I'm not going to need conditioner while I use this stuff. Nice.

I actually used a poof to wash with. Lovely Wife has had a couple hanging in my shower but I generally prefer to just rub the bar of glistening soap all over my wet naked body (even the butt crack). I used it today because it seemed somehow profane to not use a washing device. This soap was above my station, so to speak, and would not have appreciated being placed directly on my peasant skin.

It has wonderful, rich lather. The scent is heavenly, even when mostly asleep in the shower*. It rinsed clean and left my skin feeling like it had been caressed. Or maybe that was me...sometimes I just can't keep my own hands off myself. I am that hot.

So if you are in the market for some excellent soap, go visit Creekside. Anna also does lotions and DogPoo**.

I just realized I've written advertising copy. How about that...a product so good it has me doing spontaneous ads. I guess somebody has to since she doesn't even advertise it on her own blog.

The price is nice too, by the way. Just a couplefew bucks a bar.

* Let me clarify why the scent is so important. I hate overpowering smells. I haven't used cologne more than a dozen times in the past 3 years because the only cologne I've ever found that I like isn't available any more and my bottle is almost empty. Generally speaking, somebody has to die for me to use my cologne.

** Shampoo for dogs. The DogPoo that is, not the lotion. Look, it's perfectly simple. The lotion is lotion and the DogPoo is dog shampoo. Dog(sham)poo, get it? Okay then. Carry on.

POINTS: 2 points for the first person to name my inspiration for the title to this post. No searching, please.

Posted by: Jim at 10:09 AM | Comments (25) | Add Comment
Post contains 654 words, total size 4 kb.

1 my fair lady?

Posted by: Tiffani at July 20, 2004 10:44 AM (xpNFK)

2 Nope, but you're on the right track. It was a musical.

Posted by: Jim at July 20, 2004 10:52 AM (IOwam)

3 I feel pretty, oh so pretty. westside story

Posted by: shank at July 20, 2004 10:59 AM (+4mO/)

4 additionally, you're kind of homo-esque with the whole using the poof, conditioner, and high-end bath products in general. Call me a crusty man's man, but whatever happened to guys being okay with being guys. I blame the Fab Five and the metrosexual fad for making dudes feel like they gotta smell like chicks.

Posted by: shank at July 20, 2004 11:04 AM (+4mO/)

5 damn...damn...damn...

Posted by: Tiffani at July 20, 2004 11:07 AM (xpNFK)

6 Man, what an endorsement. Thank you. And also, you're very much welcome. It's a hobby that's slowly morphed into something much bigger than I imagined. Now that it's caressing the ass cracks of my favorite people, I am all the more satisfied. Enjoy.

Posted by: Anna at July 20, 2004 11:24 AM (gBpFI)

7 I RAN here as fast as my keyboard would carry me but dammit...I'm late! I would have gotten it right because I am the show tune queen, baby!

Posted by: DeAnna at July 20, 2004 11:42 AM (IdVP4)

8 Oh and I am so totally going to buy some of that soap. The next best thing to having J-Snooze is making my own man smell like him!

Posted by: DeAnna at July 20, 2004 11:45 AM (IdVP4)

9 I love West Side Story. First performed, by the way, at Brandeis University in Waltham, MA when Leonard Bernstein was head of the music department there. My wife works in the field of personal care products. I can relate, even if I don't partake myself.

Posted by: Random Penseur at July 20, 2004 12:06 PM (LlPKh)

10 Shank - Correct! 2 points to you. But hold on one second...you got the musical trivia right and I'm homoesque for using something that a gorgeous California blond sent me? Hmmm...

Posted by: Jim at July 20, 2004 12:38 PM (IOwam)

11 hey, in my defense: The only reason I know that song is because my roommate has 'Anger Management' on DVD. I watched it this weekend , and there's a few scenes where Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson sing that very same song to help calm themselves down. "...I feel pretty...Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight..." I'm not even sure if that's how it goes. See the movie, it's funny. At least I don't use a poof. right?

Posted by: shank at July 20, 2004 12:59 PM (+4mO/)

12 Hey, it's not like I'm using a louffa or something like that. I would have used a washcloth but I don't know that we even have any.

Posted by: Jim at July 20, 2004 01:15 PM (IOwam)

13 Trust me Jim...you do own wash cloths. Ask your wife!

Posted by: DeAnna at July 20, 2004 01:24 PM (IdVP4)

14 Opium for Men? They make a soap that smells like that? And it . . . works? Ooh, guess what I'm placing an order for. I've been trying to get him to give up Irish Spring for ages anyhow. What was the favorite cologne they don't make anymore? I found a place on the 'net that still (well, as of a year ago) sells one of mine that no one else seems to carry anymore, so you do a little hunting, you never know what you'll turn up. As for this: you're kind of homo-esque with the whole using the poof, conditioner, and high-end bath products in general I'm sure Jim will remember that while the women in his office are ripping his clothes off and his Lovely Wife is totally going kung fu on 'em for doing so, dude.

Posted by: ilyka at July 20, 2004 03:05 PM (LWLzC)

15 Yup, Anna's got Opium for Men and Obsession for Women. Gotta get Lovely Wife some of that. Rowr! The favorite cologne I was talking about is Lagerfeld. The only Lagerfeld I've found in the past 3 years is the deodorant.

Posted by: Jim at July 20, 2004 03:18 PM (IOwam)

16 My soap suggestion - Tea Tree Soap by Paul Mitchell. Also see: Shampoo and Conditional Link Below: http://www.paulmitchell.com/site/subpage.asp?section=2,10

Posted by: pylorns at July 20, 2004 03:23 PM (FTYER)

17 Oh. By the way. I'm nominating Jim for Metrosexual Man of the Year.

Posted by: pylorns at July 20, 2004 03:24 PM (FTYER)

18 Can't do it, Pylorns. I can't buy anything that's hawked at SuperCuts. It goes against my natural resistance to faux trendy. "Metrosexual Man of the Year"? Because of the soap or the soft toilet paper? In either case I shall have to write more about my buttcrack to compensate.

Posted by: Jim at July 20, 2004 03:26 PM (IOwam)

19 Lagerfield? I make it. Hugo Boss? I make it. Just about any designer fragrance I can turn into soap. And it will be alcohol free. Did someone even seriously recommend Paul Mitchell in this thread? Paul Mitchell contains Sodium Laureth Sulfate as does most all commercial soaps and shampoos. It's detergent. It's garbage. It's drying and harsh. Look in your bathroom cabinets. It's everywhere. http://www.safe2use.com/data/sls-sles.htm But don't take one report's word. Throw that chemical into a Yahoo! search and see what you find. shudder

Posted by: Anna at July 20, 2004 08:29 PM (gBpFI)

20 Thanks for the tip on Creekside - that's why I frequent this blog... lots of good stuff to check out

Posted by: moodie at July 20, 2004 11:18 PM (2XPvV)

21 I cannot be reading about your buttcrack and toilet paper habbits over my lunch hour. That's now one wasted sandwich and an image I can never get rid of...my eyeballs are still burning. Does Anna make anything for that?

Posted by: Simon at July 21, 2004 04:27 AM (UKqGy)

22 Um...she does make soothing lotions. Would that help?

Posted by: Jim at July 21, 2004 05:38 AM (behRF)

23 Hey, Shank. . Jim's a MANLY MAN. And you know what else? Men who SMELL GOOD GET LAID. Just sayin'. As for the title -- um. . .I hate to be difficult but isn't that from "Pygmalion/My Fair Lady?" I distinctly remember Audrey Hepburn singing that song. And I love Audrey. I'm going now. . . Love, Em

Posted by: Emma at July 21, 2004 02:26 PM (NOZuy)

24 Sorry, Em. It was definitely Westside Story. Perhaps you're transposing Natalie Wood and Audrey Hepburn?

Posted by: Jim at July 21, 2004 03:17 PM (IOwam)

25 You're right. *sigh* Not even the same category of woman, but I must have confused the two. Ah well. As for the rest of my comment: it stands. Lagerfeld. Mmm. Nice memories attached to that scent. (heh)

Posted by: Emma at July 21, 2004 10:33 PM (NOZuy)

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