Following is a list of what I consider to be some of the most overrated bands of the past few decades. Keep in mind that when I say, 'what I consider', you should just take as fact since I am seldom wrong and 99% of my opinions are just plain right. That said, in no particular order, let's continue.

10 - The Doors. I know what you're thinking - they had that Light My Fire song that was so catchy and Jim was so handsome before he met Meg Ryan and got fat and no one appreciated what a genius he was 'cause he talked to dead indians and shamans and whatnot and was like, totally enlightened. He was on a higher plane than the rest of us, dude.

Bullshit. Jim Morrison was a pompous, drug-addled jackass who thought his lyrics were oh-so-profound. Guess what Jimmy? They are, if you're wrecked on eight hits of acid and a quart of Jim Beam. Otherwise, not-so-much. Listen to The End. I mean come on. Could you be any more pretentious? If he didn't die fucked up and bloated in a bath tub, he would have been a Vegas lounge act in five years when he ran out of money. All in all, a piece of shit human being who got blown out of all proportion because of an ignorant, gullible generation in the absolute worst decade of the century. Die hippy!

9 - The NY Dolls. I've never heard one of their songs. Ever. How influential could they have been if I've never heard any of their songs? Plus, there's that David Johansen idiot who became Buster Pointerdexter. What an ass. Also, I think they dressed in drag. Another strike against them. That's just what I want to hear is a bunch of fucked up, screaming drag queens. 'Nuff said.

8 - Def Lepard - three words: one armed drummer.

7 - Neil Young - If you castrated a Canadian, that's what Neil Young sounds like. He gets bonus points for being really, really ugly. And would it kill him to wash his hair once in a while? What was Crosby, Stills and Nash thinking? That's like adding Snoop Dog to the Three Tenors.

6 - Pink Floyd. The only way you can even listen to Pink Floyd is if you're loaded on quaaludes and pot. Like comfortably numb, dude. Bonus points for having a crazy guy in the band. Pink Floyd is the Moody Blues suffering from severe depression.

5 - The Eagles - The country-rock version of Insync. Packaged, vapid, formulaic pap. You idiots ate it up. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. And they knew it.

4 - ZZ Top - they had long breads and twirled their guitars...and???? They had two hits and both sucked. Every song sounds the same. But I guess they did have the long beards.

3 - Bruce Springsteen. I absolutely despise the man. He has a grating, annoying voice and his band sucks. Clarence Thomas was a mediocre hack saxophonist and the drummer, Sam Weinstein was horrible. But everyone said they were great. Profound, thoughtful lyrics, they said! How would you know? You couldn't understand a word he said. And he was from New Jersey. Did you know that there was a petition to make Born To Run the state song? That's right - a song about getting the hell out of New Jersey was going to be the state song for New Jersey. And you wonder why it has the reputation it does.

2 - Guns 'N Roses - people actually liked this band. A lot. I'm speechless. A greasy tattoed pussy and his mad hatter side kick. No talent, drug addict, stupid, greasy, losers. Did I mention greasy?

1 - The Beatles. Jesus. Everybody says they are the greatest band ever in the history of the galaxy and before there was a galaxy. Pre-God. Really? This is the band that wrote Yellow Submarine and Oh-Blah-Di. Wha??? Yeah, they had some good songs but were they great? I can't tell anymore I've heard them so much. Frankly, I've had it with the Beatles.

One question though - why would Paul McCartney marry a woman with one leg? I mean, with all that money, wouldn't you want a whole person? And they were the friggin' Beatles for fucksake. You couldn't do better than Yoko Ono and Linda McCartney and then a one-legged lady? That infuriates me. They could have had any women in the world. They could have had threesomes for the rest of their lives and never with the same two women and they chose Yoko and Linda. That's just wrong. And that's why The Beatles are the most overrated band ever.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:42 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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