I've never been a flosser. It could be because I come from a family of non-flossers or maybe it's because my teeth are fairly tight and when I tried flossing way back when it was too uncomfortable. Maybe the seeping blood from your gums if you misjudge and hit them with the razor wire floss just turned me off. Whatever the reason I've just never been one to floss. I made up for it by being a militant tooth brusher. Once as soon as I wake up, once before leaving for work, once when getting home from work, once before bed. I used to also brush at work after lunch. I'll still add another brushing in there as needed if my mouth feels nasty.

Bear and Bacon recently had dental hygienists into their school to teach the kids how important tooth care was and to give the basics on brushing and flossing. Now anybody with kids will know what that means. They learned something in school that we didn't do at home. This became the absolute most important thing in the world to them. If they didn't floss then all of their teeth were going to fall out! They'd be overrun by plaque! Their breath would stink so bad that they could conceivably kill the birds with the poisonous gasses issuing from their orifices. (Personally I think that this was a bit over the top. If the birds could live through years of babies with crap pants I doubt they'd kick the bucket from nasty breath. Anyway...)

So Lovely Wife found these neat pre-loaded floss doohickeys. No fumbling around with the wax string and shoving fingers into mouths. Oh, no. Not with these sexy dental beauties. They are slick, easy to use and very efficient. So I tried 'em out.

My teeth are still very tight and it was hard to work the string on down between them. I still misjudged a couple times and was rewarded with crimson spit as my gums protested being sliced by the razor wire floss. And my efforts were rewarded as I dislodged some unidentifiable thing that smelled vaguely like raw sewage. I gagged. Seriously. I fought down the urge to puke. I then realized that I had just found evidence that there was something rotting inside my mouth. I fought down the urge to puke again.

I am now a militant flosser in addition to being a militant brusher.

Posted by: Jim at 04:06 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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