Just in case that last post didn't gross you out enough I'm going to share something with you. Oh, come on. Why the long face? Y'all know that when I'm disgusted with something I share that disgusting thing with you. This increases the amount of disgust in the world thereby lowering my disgust level in relation to the world as a whole. Plus, Momma told me to always share.

Anyway, my nasal experience has progressed to the point where I have massive amounts of mucous draining out of my sinuses in a constant thick stream. This isn't your normal sinus drip here. That slightly thick saliva like stuff that just drips down the back of your throat causing an occasional gag but no major difficulties. Oh, no, nothing like that. This is thick, viscous, soupy, clingy, foamy, nasty slop that sticks to things and takes concerted effort to expel. Stuff that makes you afraid to sleep because you just know that it could build up in your throat and suffocate you.

It has the consistency of that foam they spray on runways in anticipation of an airplane crash. I've given up enough of it this morning to save a Gulfstream at a minimum. I'm trying to be polite about it. No massive snorting or hacking except when a big glob of it takes me by surprise. My problem is where to put it when I work it out. I've been spitting it or blowing it into paper towels and throwing them in the trash. Sucker's about half full now. But this stuff is far too evil to be contained by mere paper. I can just picture it in there. Mini blobs flowing and creeping, following the path of least resistance to the bottom of the can where they join together into an ever growing terror of mucosal fury.

And that made me think of the poor cleaning crew. Some poor sucker is going to take that plastic bag out of that can tonight and they're going to see something reminiscent of dissolved brains mixed with vanilla pudding filling the bottom third of the clear plastic and they are going to be seriously fighting their gag reflex.

Cleaning guy, whoever you are, sorry dude.

Posted by: Jim at 11:38 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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