Why I hate lawyers; reason number 56342.

From what I gather, a lawyer in DC was elected to the bench. On his first day he wanted to wear his special pants. I guess that’s like getting a new lunchbox for the first day of school. Unfortunately, the dry cleaners lost his special pants. So in the name of “"mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort" he’s suing the dry cleaners for $67 million dollars. That must be some pair of pants.

HeÂ’s also suing for ten years of weekend rental cars to take his dry cleaning to another location. I donÂ’t know what thatÂ’s got to do with a lost pair of pants. Regardless, the guy is calling 63 witnesses in the case. They didnÂ’t call 63 witnesses in the fucking Manson trial. If youÂ’re not feeling somewhat nauseous by this point you must be in law school.

According to calculations in the article, $67 million could buy this guy almost 85 thousand pairs of pants at $800 a pop. Apparently, lotÂ’s of people think this is hysterically funny. Except the dry cleaner who broke down in tears during the interview. These poor bastards have been paying legal fees for two years already because of a pair of the special pants.

Eventually the dry cleaners offered him $3,000 which he would not accept. Then he offered $4,000, which was also declined. They then offered this guy $12,000 for the goddamned pants and the guy turned it down.

Apparently, there is a consumer protection law on the books thatÂ’s $1,500 per violation, per day. He also wants $500,000 in emotional damages and $542, 500 in legal fees, even though he is representing himself in court. All because of his special pants.

A couple of weeks after they lost the pants, the dry cleaner found themÂ…matching ticket and everything, but the lawyer/judge claims theyÂ’re not the right ones.

I just don’t see the humor in this. The fact that a judge or lawyer or whatever the hell he is ought to know better than to clog up the courts with this shit. And the worst part is the case hasn’t been thrown out. So, lives of dry cleaner—ruined. Taxpayer money—wasted. The fact that this guy is an officer of the court and has done all this makes me sick.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 10:19 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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