1 Dude. When I checked your stats earlier this week (it is my goal to always beat you and Don) you were averaging about 398 hits a day. Now it's 2000. If you'll excuse me, I am going to go post about Paris Hilton's sex video, Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, and Orlando Bloom. Possibly all having sex, but really, it's all about being a hit whore.

2 One more person complains about the astonishing number of hits he had that day [click] . . . . I'm going to title my next post I Fucked Paris Hilton and see what happens. Of course, that one won't be easy to explain to mom and dad, but luckily they find most of what I write too boring for them to check in regularly.

3 It's serious, Ilyka. They're not real hits and I don't want 'em. Except that they let me beat Helen and Don, of course. That's cool. But they totally screw my numbers. I do keep a loose eye on my site popularity and now I've got no clue what's going on. I would really have liked to see what effect the censorship deal really had on my traffic but it's not even a blip in the porn traffic. On the plus side I can now say with assurety that random porn searches are approximately 3 times as powerful as the Instapundit.

4 DAMN! "I Fucked Paris Hilton on Tape" was going to be my weekend post. Oh well...

5 I would really have liked to see what effect the censorship deal really had on my traffic but it's not even a blip in the porn traffic. Yeah, that'd cheese me off. Question: am I the only one who cares more about page views, length of time spent reading, etc., than about actual number of visits? I don't think I care that much after all about the number of visitors, really. I want to know that the people who came, stayed a while, and actually read more than one linked post. Am I also the only one who's sometimes happier to get an unknown referrer visit (the ones where they just typed in the URL themselves, I mean) than an oh-so-and-so-sent-us visit? I think it's cool if someone actually remembers the address and goes there without prodding, personally.

6 No, you're not the only one, Ilyka. I think that the time aboard is probably the most important stat too. Of course the porn stream has totally blown that away. And I really like when the referrer is another page from my site, meaning the reader is really cruising through and looking around, or at least opening extended entries to read the longer posts.

7 at least opening extended entries to read the longer posts. You've reminded me of the surest way to kill off my own traffic: Post two-parters. Never mind that journalspace imposes a bullshit character limit that sometimes forces me to do it if I have a lot to say--people see "part I" and run screaming. I can't even blame them, either, because if I go to someone's blog and they say, "Go read Steven den Beste today," I get all stubborn and think, "No. That font is too small and his essays are too long and I will not either go read it. You can't make me." So why I think it's totally okay for me to post two-parters, I don't know. I just have to do it every once in awhile. Your extended entries are especially fun, though, because I literally never know WHAT I'm going to get. It's like opening presents.

8 No, I check length of stays, too. They average a few minutes, which I love. To me, it means that people stick around and READ-since I tend to be a bit verbose, I take it as a good sign.

9 I've been hearing about this crazy hot video of the over rich and incredibly pretentiously named Paris Hilton getting jabbed in some hotel room. And I've actually avoided it on the blog precisely because I know the flood of hits that one can generate from just a mention. I topped out at 16,000 hits in a day when the Kobe trial first hit. It was amazing.