Because he loves them so.

Posted by: Jim at 09:07 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Me: Is "ballsacks" one word or two?

Coworker: Just one.

Me: Are you sure? Spellcheck says it's two.

Coworker: Try spellchecking "spellcheck".

[Pause]

Me: Oh. I see.

Coworker: Yeah. If the damn thing can't even recognize it's own name you can be pretty sure it's clueless about ballsacks.

Posted by: Jim at 08:44 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 55 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm old. As evidence I present this conversational snippet from Monday:

Bear: Do you know what tomorrow is?

Me: What's tomorrow?

Bear: Tuesday!

Me: Yeah, the chances are high that tomorrow will be a Tuesday.

Bear: Do you know what else is tomorrow?

Me: The day before Wednesday?

Bear: Your birthday!

Me: It is? Are you sure?

Bear: Yeah!!

Me: How about that... Hey, how old will I be?

Bear: Real old. Sixty-three.

Me: Sixty...three...??

Bear: I meant thirty-six! It just looks almost the same as sixty-three!

So there you have it out of the mouths of babes. Or at least out of the mouth of a cheeky six year-old. I'm just hoping that "it" was the numerals and not my aging carcass.

Hmmm...I'd better be careful around the homestead. I can now be legally exchanged for two eighteen year-olds...

Posted by: Jim at 05:32 AM | Comments (20) | Add Comment
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1 Happy Birthday Jim! Don't worry Jim she won't trade you in, old age and treachery win out over youth and enthusiasm every time. Especially with the creation of "the little blue pill".

Posted by: phin at August 03, 2005 05:51 AM (DGPlf)

2 Happy Birthday! You youngster!

Posted by: vw bug at August 03, 2005 06:38 AM (dkZJv)

3 Happy Belated Birthday!

Posted by: Machelle at August 03, 2005 09:06 AM (ZAyoW)

4 Happy Birthday!!!! I'll have a shot in your honor!

Posted by: Tiffani at August 03, 2005 09:31 AM (KE4Gu)

5 Have a wonderful birthday!

Posted by: kitty at August 03, 2005 11:31 AM (uFhgB)

6 Happy Birthday, Jim. Geez, all these late July/early August birthdays. Sounds like your parents had a fun Thanksgiving... ;-)

Posted by: Bou at August 03, 2005 02:23 PM (5JHEt)

7 How mean! I give everyone plenty of notice before my birthday for gift getting... Now, all you get is my sincerest HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Posted by: DeAnna at August 03, 2005 02:56 PM (IdVP4)

8 Happy belated birthday. No matter how old I get, you'll always be 5 years older. I like that in a person.

Posted by: Jennifer at August 03, 2005 03:43 PM (FfRxo)

9 My very best belated happy birthday wishes! When you coming to NY so we can drink to your birthday?

Posted by: RP at August 03, 2005 03:45 PM (LlPKh)

10 Never,NY is just not on the list anymore unless its Niagara Falls.LOL

Posted by: LW at August 03, 2005 05:16 PM (oqu5j)

11 I'm late in saying it publicly, but on the day? I was early. Happy birthday, babes

Posted by: Helen at August 03, 2005 05:37 PM (ATx6T)

12 Happy Birthday, old man!

Posted by: Pam at August 03, 2005 05:38 PM (zelz2)

13 Happy birthday, Jim. But come on, what would LW want with 2 18year olds? She already has you trained and with two it'd be like puppies, the hedaches are exponential, not additive. Nah, don't worry something like that until you're at least 50. :-D

Posted by: tommy at August 03, 2005 08:51 PM (OJ+GI)

14 Happy Belated Jim.

Posted by: Denise at August 04, 2005 06:27 AM (JTlEe)

15 happy bday! although a day late and a dollar short...

Posted by: pylorns at August 04, 2005 08:22 AM (FTYER)

16 Happy Birthday... late... again... as usual.

Posted by: Contagion at August 04, 2005 08:34 AM (Q5WxB)

17 Did you get Bubbleman for your birthday? Happy B-Day Jim!

Posted by: Morrigan at August 04, 2005 10:39 PM (Qwj4T)

18 Thanks, y'all! Mo - No Bubbleman for me but I did get a selection of very tasty beers. I can make my own bubbles with that. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at August 05, 2005 07:46 AM (tyQ8y)

19 Happy Belated Birthday!

Posted by: pam at August 05, 2005 01:40 PM (l6NIn)

20 Happy belated birthday! I know it ain't easy being 63. Now I understand why you don't post frequently. Too many bathroom visits and you can't find your glasses.

Posted by: Michele at August 05, 2005 11:55 PM (ht2RK)

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Bear got quite a load for his birthday this year. With the money that Grandma and Uncle sent he bought a slew of Bionicle toys. With the money that Aunt sent he purchased for himself a little digital camera. He was so excited about the camera and went around taking hundreds of pictures yesterday. Literally. We have almost two hundred snaps of the television. We'll be working on subject quality now.

The camera is pretty neat for a little $20 job. It taks halfway decent pictures if you and the subject are both perfectly still. Of course that means that most of the pictures that Bear has taken are massive colorful blurs (except for the television shots - those are all crystal clear). It also functions as a screencam and takes movie clips.

Movie clips. That's pretty cool.

So here I am. A somewhat morally challenged but otherwise healthy adult male. Alone at the computer with a digital camera that takes movie clips. Of course I did what any other Id deficient fella would have done in my place. I made a clip of myself masturbating.

Just have to remember to take that file out of the default save folder. Wouldn't want to traumatize the kids. Or the Lovely Wife.

Posted by: Jim at 06:38 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 212 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I am severely disappointed in you, Jim! Where's the sound????

Posted by: Susie at August 01, 2005 11:09 AM (PWYyH)

2 It could have been a little bigger, it's kind of hard to see.

Posted by: Machelle at August 01, 2005 01:33 PM (ZAyoW)

3 Dude, talk about dripping with gay.

Posted by: shank at August 01, 2005 07:17 PM (jfEhX)

4 We're running with a theme here as of late, Jim. Shaving balls and clips of your masturbating. What's next? Ack?! Did I ask that? ;-)

Posted by: Bou at August 02, 2005 03:53 PM (5JHEt)

5 Waaaaah! I can't view the clip!

Posted by: diamond dave at August 02, 2005 05:00 PM (Wa0Qh)

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