Fasturbation: (n) A solo quickie.

Posted by: Jim at 06:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Just wanted to take this time to Welcome Jim Home from his vacation! We all missed you!! But I think we did a stellar job at keeping your readers entertained. Er...... when's your next vacation? We might need to start getting our material prepared for the next one. LOL

Glad to have you home!

Posted by: Denise at 08:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Well, it seems as if no one wants that last point. Heck, I even said you could bribe the judge. Of course, what could you have bribed me with? Besides with the obvious, that is.

Rat pictures would be good.
Joe Don Baker pictures would also be good.
C'mon, people! Use your imagination!

Ah, well. Since no one gives a rat's ass about it, I'll give you the answer to number two: A Day Without a Mexican is the movie with the SoCal dialogue in it, and apparently no one but me has seen it. Not that it was worth seeing. But then again, neither are most of my favorite movies.

But seriously, folks, it's been fun posting on Jim's blog whilst ignoring mine. Next time Jim takes a vacation, I hope I'll be invited back, even if I did post a crappy "Match That Quote" game and possible bored off some of his readers. Sorry, Jim.

Yep, rambling posts that just jump from point to point...that's my style!

more...

Posted by: Victor at 03:45 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Well since today is probably the last day I get to post at Snooze Button Dreams I wanted to write a post expressing just how much this experience has meant to me. Most folks just donÂ’t get a chance to post on a blog as successful as this one. For a week I had the warm fuzzy feeling that whatÂ’s his name must get every time he spanks a midget porn star. For a week I had the more power than this hateful shrew and much to my surprise I was able to withstand the urge to blog about a group of angry lesbian midgets.

For a week my fellow Snooze Crew™ Members and I have turned out posts that would make that other group blog jealous. We’ve posted lots of funny, some stuff that was thought provoking and some stuff that was rather disturbing (who’s damned idea was it to post a picture of Jim in Manties anyway?).

It wasn’t just the Snooze Crew™ that made it possible either. It was the loyal readers of Snooze Button Dreams that kept us posting; that and Jim’s threat to withhold spankings for a week if we misbehaved while he was gone. Sure I know what you’re thinking a spanking from another man doesn’t sound right. But you know what, it’s not like we’re gay (even though Jim’s running one of the finest gay blogs on the Interweb), nope, we’re like Romans. And nobody ever called the gladiators homo’s even if they were playing slap and tickle in the locker room.

Sorry I got a little side tracked. Back to the readers, yup you guys really made us feel all warm and fuzzy. Like when I used to climb a rope in gym class, type warm and fuzzy. ItÂ’s definitely a feeling IÂ’ll miss, but hey maybe yÂ’all will stop by and visit my little hole in the wall of the blogidoheckiweb every now and then and we can laugh about the good ole times when Jim turned over the keys to his shop to a bunch of wingnuts. more...

Posted by: phin at 12:16 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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IÂ’m desperately trying to come up with something for the Snooze.

Except- My teeth hurt. I have a crew of trolls with jackhammers pounding away at one tooth and the dentist is busy, probably picking out his Ferrari purchased from funds acquired from my insurance company last time I was there.
Shall we say the quality of his work is a bit suspect, to say the least. more...

Posted by: Rob P at 09:54 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yesterday I wrote about my favorite cartoons, and I mentioned how I can't hear Wagner without thinking of What's Opera, Doc?

Right now, the classical station is playing The Barber of Seville, and I ain't a-thinking about Figaro and Rosina.

Posted by: Victor at 12:06 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Man, I love me some cartoons, especially Tom & Jerry (pre-1955, please) and Wile E. Coyote. But my very favorite cartoons are two Bugs Bunny cartoons which are probably faves of yours, too: The Rabbit of Seville and my absolute favorite, What's Opera, Doc?

At work, I listen to a classical station, and you know what I've discovered? I can't hear anything by Wagner without thinkig of that cartoon.

Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!

Posted by: Victor at 01:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Okay, I admit that there is a small possibility that it wasn't actually Bernie Mac who wouldn't even give the courtesy of "The Wave" when I let him out of the Arby's parking lot onto the highway. As a co-worker pointed out there's a high probability that Bernie Mac doesn't drive a beat up late model Oldsmobile. Then again if he's getting paid according to the acting ability he's displayed in recent films he just might be. The googly eyes were funny 10 years ago, Bernie. Now go buy yourself a new shtick.

Sure looked like him anyway.

Posted by: Jim at 02:22 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1. Towel dispensers placed high on the wall so when you reach up to them the water on your hands runs back down your arms. I've also noticed that the vast majority of paper dispensers are placed out of reach of kids. Don't we want these guys to learn basic hygiene?


2. People who don't give you "The Wave" when you let them pull into traffic ahead of you. It's my right of way, buddy. The least you could do is give me a thank-you when I try to be nice and let you in.


3. Pencils that are too short to use. Why do they put graphite all the way through them anyway?


4. Office chairs with the tilt lever where the up/down lever is supposed to be. Purchasing agents should not be permitted to buy chairs unless they've sat in them.


5. Cubicles set up so everybody passing by sees your screen. One of my projects has hush-hush elements and I'm getting paranoid every time I open up a document for it.


6. Phones without caller ID. The Do Not Disturb setting works really well but there's no "Except for Boss1 or Boss2" setting.


7. Whiny blog posts that are full of nothing except a list of annoyances.

So what's pissing you off today? Sound off in the comments.

Posted by: Jim at 02:12 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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The other red meat.

Posted by: Jim at 01:05 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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3 points to the first person who can correctly identify why this is a shocking drink order. Specifically, why is it shocking that Bond orders a martini this way?

Posted by: Jim at 11:37 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Conferences are business meetings taken to the ultimate level of inefficiency.

Posted by: Jim at 11:39 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Once is luck.
Twice is coincidence.
Three times is a charm.

So what's four times?

Points for the top three answers. Bonus points if anybody gets the real answer, which isn't too likely because I just made this up in my meeting this morning but if you've been following along with the bits I drop about the job it's at least possible to get it.

Posted by: Jim at 02:33 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Q: How can you tell if your roommate is gay? more...

Posted by: Jim at 08:40 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Awesome blog title: Pith and Vinegar

Adding to the awesomeness, pithandvinegar.com is available.

First one to take it wins, but you have to promise to blogroll me there.

Posted by: Jim at 09:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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If you sue the Supreme Court, who hears the case?

Posted by: Jim at 08:09 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Next time you're on an elevator, instead of staring up at the floor level indicator, turn around and stare at the back of the elevator. This works better if there are other people on the elevator.

(This does have the inherent problem of you not knowing when you get to your floor but a clever elevatrix can turn that into an adventure in itself.)

Posted by: Jim at 01:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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"Separate but equal" applies to only two things in this world - earrings and breasts.

Be the first person to name the quotee and win 3 points!

Posted by: Jim at 01:10 PM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
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The rubber band machinegun.

I would comment further but I can't see the screen well through my tears.

(Hat tip to Randall)

Posted by: Jim at 08:46 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Say you've just loaded up the family to go pick up lunch/dinner*. Momma is in her fuzzy slippers, 2 out of 3 kids are in pajamas with only one of them wearing shoes. Dad is wearing the white sweat pants that must never be seen in public.

Would that be indicative of white trashitude or redneckosity?

Not much happening around here today. Morning writing time was taken up with three stories of maddening school atrocities over at Zero Intelligence. Speaking of ZI, it's been getting some serious attention lately. In the last few weeks I've been interviewed by two newspapers, contacted by a scholastic watchdog group and the site will be profiled on an independent law review radio show next week.

Sweet.

There are some leftovers here you can play with, since I've got nothing new at the moment. The caption contest is still open as is the drag queen cat fight. Enjoy!

* Breakfast/lunch is brunch. What is lunch/dinner? Linner? Dunch? Lovely Wife prefers dunch. I'm undecided.

Posted by: Jim at 10:42 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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