[The scene: The boys are in the tub. Lovely Wife and I are having a conversation while they are relatively quiet. ]

Me: [To Lovely Wife] So I'm going to be involved in setting up KPIs for the company as well as metrics for Development.

Bear: [Interrupts] What's that?

Lovely Wife: What? Metrics?

Bear: No, kaypeeayes.

Me: It's an acronym. KPI stands for "key process indicator".

Lovely Wife: Do you know what that means?

Bear: No.

Lovely Wife: Can you figure it out?

Bear: Well, an indicator is like a light or something so it's probably a light to help you find your keys.

Lovely Wife: You're pretty good at figuring stuff out bear but...

Bear: [Interrupts] I know. I'm brilliant.

Lovely Wife: You're brilliant?

Bear: Yeah. I'm even smarter than you. Me: [Laughter]

Lovely Wife: [Stifled laugh] You are? When did you get so smart?

Bear: When I started learning.

Me: And when did you start learning?

Bear: When I went to school. [He means preschool here.]

Me: I think you learned a lot before you went to school. You learned how to walk and talk and not poop in your pants before you went to school.

Bear: Yeah. I guess I've been smart for a long time.

Lovely Wife: Smarter than me?

Bear: Yup.

Lovely Wife: But you didn't know what a KPI was, right?

Bear: Well, no.

Lovely Wife: So I guess you don't know everything, right?

Bear: No. But I'm still smarter than you.

Lovely Wife: How about Daddy? Are you smarter than him, too?

Bear: No. Daddy knows everything.

Me: [Belly harming gut laughs]

Bear: But I'm not as smart as an octopus.

[Things devolved from that point. He's five now. I can't wait for the teenage years.]

Posted by: Jim at 07:47 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 246 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I LOVE your Bear. I bet he is too smarter than an Octopus. He is clearly smarter than Henry the Octopus - have you seen that guy's hat? Have I told you lately that your site is all that and a bag of barbequed chips? Because it SO is.

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 12, 2005 10:08 AM (BHf3Z)

2 Thanks, Elizabeth. Personally I think toe sludge is smarter than Henry the Octopus. Man that thing's irritating. Actually the penguin is even worse. Who thought that a morose passive/agressive penguin would be a good character in a children's show? Yeesh! No, wait a sec. I'm thinking of Oswald. Is Henry the one from The Wiggles? Damned octopi. Hey, I wonder - If our Bear's meet would it be more like matter and anti-matter coming together or two highly charged polarly aligned plates? Heh.

Posted by: Jim at January 12, 2005 10:34 AM (tyQ8y)

3 Stories like that are the only things that make me think I might want kids after all.

Posted by: 8ZERO8 at January 12, 2005 05:53 PM (cxdq0)

4 I'm not happy to admit I know all your references. The Penguin is in Oswald. Henry is in the Wiggles. Blech. I help with the kindergarten PE classes at our school. I have some kid telling me that he's trying to be as smart as an ostrich. Maybe he really meant octopus...

Posted by: Boudicca at January 13, 2005 10:59 AM (z7nbM)

5 From when I was little I swor to myself that I will NEVER EVER have kids.Then I "accidentially" had one and the crack party started.I think they keep us young by making us laugh our asses off. Afterall,It is clinically proven that laughing keeps you healthy! Yet.....on days like today........ANYONE WANT MY KIDS?? I'll proceed to Ebay now......

Posted by: LW at January 13, 2005 11:35 AM (GCA5m)

6 LOL. Loved this story. Can't wait until mine hit 5 yrs old. It sounds like it will be fun.

Posted by: vw bug at January 16, 2005 09:09 PM (YcCf5)

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