It's been a while since I expressed my appreciation to the homosexual men in the world. Not you bi fellas! Y'all are icky. But gay men? Damn, do we straights owe you guys.

I don't understand why some hetero guys are gay haters. Don't you guys get it? You owe the gay guys a round of thanks too! I see you're confused so I'll take it a step backwards and start with an anecdote.

Iv, our next door neighbor's son, is gay. He's also a smoking hot specimen of male boditude with the sweetest personality you could imagine. He makes Lovely Wife and all of her lady friends weak in the knees. Unappologetically. They brag about it. Hell, if I ever decide to switch teams I am going to be so all over him it'll be pathetic. Today we saw his new boyfriend for the first time. Iv was over to help his mum and the new beau came with him. New Beau is as hot as he is. And just as nice. Lovely Wife yelled at Iv. "It's not fair! How long are you going to keep taking the hottest guys?" Iv's response? "As long as possible."

Humorous, yes. But don't miss the moral of the story here. The reason we straight guys should be thankful and why no straight guy has any excuse to be a gay hater. TWO GUYS who are complete babe magnets have taken themselves (and each other?) out of the competition! If you are straight and getting laid then you owe Iv and New Beau and Trey and every other gay fella (especially the hot ones) a round of thanks because they are helping you to get laid by increasing your chances of attracting a mate by staying out of the option pool.

So to all of my gay readers, Iv, New Beau, and all of the other gays out there that helped my chances to win Lovely Wife's affection and facilitated my getting laid all these years, thank you from the bottom of my heart (and another organ about a foot and a half south of that).

Posted by: Jim at 10:47 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 370 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I don't think I was ever so depressed in my life as I was when I walked into a gay bar for the first time and realized, "This is what happened to all the good-looking ones . . . ."

Posted by: ilyka at February 07, 2004 05:12 PM (izQNB)

2 Wow, I have to think you have a great attitude.. but don't forget what else helps you guys out.. I have a gay friend- I prefer him over my girlfriends because he does not pose competition for me..lol but aside from that, I can tell him all my male frustrations and ask questions, and he shoots it straight to me from a mans point of view, but in the fashion a girlfriend would. I am totally getting a male education here lol. I can then use that to be a better gal to whatever man deserves my attention

Posted by: cutetxblonde at February 08, 2004 03:05 PM (qX++Q)

3 Ahuh....I love those gay men.But I hate them,too.As mentioned by Jim,all goodlooking guys are either GAY or MARRIED!But the gays are the coolest because nothing brings me more pleasure them to stand with IV in our parkinglot,ratting about...yeah you got it,baby!...MEN!Ha...NOONE else kan give you the male and female version of male-bashing as good as a gay men.Yeah baby...and since we are married and therefore concidered dead...all me and my girls here have is the eye-candy that comes in form of....yup...GAY MEN! I love it!!

Posted by: LW at February 08, 2004 08:50 PM (saeHM)

4 Yuck...look at all my typos!Thats how excited I get by the subject...

Posted by: LW at February 08, 2004 08:53 PM (saeHM)

5 Having spent the first 25 years of my life in the bay area, i can say that gay men are a blessing and a curse to women.

Posted by: annika at February 09, 2004 04:53 AM (8pF2y)

6 Gay men are helpful to me, too, because they decorate things with flowers.

Posted by: Trey Givens at February 09, 2004 05:32 PM (Fo1B/)

7 And that's much better than a wolf print on velvet, eh?

Posted by: Jim at February 09, 2004 08:03 PM (saeHM)

8 That is truly a phenomenon that boggles the mind.

Posted by: Trey Givens at February 10, 2004 06:50 PM (rWEDR)

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